Denver starts with the ball at their 28, with Kyle Orton at QB, of course, hopefully throwing all passes with his right hand tonight. Correll Buckhalter starts at tailback. Orton loudly audibles "TOLEDO!" which is apparently a dumpoff to Peyton Hillis. Good for 12. They started the game 1st-20 after a holding penalty, so it's 2nd-and-8. Eddie Royal converts that, but Hochuli pulls the Broncos over again. Al Michaels mispronounces "Tinoisamoa" on the play as well. 2nd-13 at the 24. 6 to Royal on the sideline. 3rd-down pass is way high and way behind the receiver and nearly intercepted by Urlacher on his deep drop. Cris Maddenworth says Buckhalter broke instead of sitting down, so I'll believe him. The punt appears to roll twice as far as it flew and bounds down to the 12.
My, isn't that a warm reception for Jay Cutler. Smoke route to Hester gets 4. Do Chris Draft and Gary Gibson develop asthma from smoke routes? Matt Forte picks his way up the middle for 4. This is the hardest Cutler's going to get booed this year, outside of Chicago. Desmond Clark drops the third-down pass to summon Brother Maynard.
Broncos at their 29. Looked like a drop by Royal on 1st down. Pitch left to Buckhalter for 8, but Lance Briggs and PISA stop him short over the right side. Heeeeeeeeere's Punty! Hester idiotically makes a fair catch inside the 5 after backing up 10 yards. Their field position will be even worse than that thanks to a block in the back.
Here's where Jay Cutler really wanted to be: backed up at his own 3-yard line. Elvis Dumervil SMOKES Orlando Pace and nearly sacks Cutler for a safety on 2nd down. 3rd-and-8. The right side of the Bear line gets into huge trouble on 3rd down and Cutler's nearly pick-sixed. Lotsa luck tonight, Cutler. Punt only gets to the Bear 44. Isn't the air supposed to be thinner in Denver?
Play-action to Royal over the middle, who gets down to the 19 after Trumaine McBride blows the tackle. Michaels pronounces "Tinoisamoa" correctly this time, as Pisa does make the tackle. Poor shotgun snap messes up the timing of a quick hitch to Royal on 2nd down and leaves 3rd-and-4. And Royal just screwed up everybody's FFL drafts this week by going to the sideline carrying himself like his shoulder's injured. Fade pass to Tony Scheffler in the end zone is too deep and sends Matt Prater in for a 31-yard FG, which he hits.
Denver 3, Chicago 0.
Bears will try to counterpunch from their 20 this time. Forte gets the pass out of the backfield for 5. Nice hole on the right side for 7 and the first. Quick slant to Greg Olson for 10. Forte tripped up for 1 at the 42, I think by Andra Davis. Flare to Hester beats a blitz for 8.99. Third down and 0.01. Bears call timeout with 2:22 left in the quarter.
Third and inches, Cutler rolls right and JUST lobs it over D.J. Williams' hand to Clark for a huge gain. 25 yards. The Bears go HALFBACK OPTION next with Forte, who very smartly throws it away without finding anyone open. Forte's stuffed up the middle. 3rd-9 at the Bronco 24. Cutler has to dump to Forte to save a sack by Dumervil tearing by Pace AGAIN, but it's nowhere close to the first. Robbie Gould from 40 to tie the game. Pace looks REALLY rough tonight. He can't handle Dumervil and his speed AT ALL.
Chicago 3, Denver 3.
One more play left in the 1st quarter, Broncos at the 22. Royal is apparently OK. Flare to Scheffler beating Urlacher gets 8.
End of first quarter: Chicago 3, Denver 3.
Buckhalter blasts off left tackle for 11, but it's coming back for a hold on Ryan Clady. 2nd-12. Reverse to Royal loses a bunch, even with Orton doing his best to throw a block. Anthony Adams blew the play up and got the tackle. 3rd-18 at the 14. About 7 to Stokley, and more punting will ensue. Denver punts away from Hester and the Bears will resume at their 33.
Cutler underthrows Garrett Wolfe with Brian Dawkins blitzing at him on 3rd down for another uninspiring Bears 3-and-out. Great kick by Maynard this time, would have died out at the 3 even without being touched down. Denver'll have to start at their 2 after a penalty.
The natural thing to do down here is pound away with Hillis, so Denver does for a couple, but then they play-action to Buckhalter and throw to Hillis for 8 and a first. He beat Pisa but was injured on the play. The Bears stuff Buckhalter for -2 the next play. Orton hits Royal in a crowd in the middle for 6. 3rd-6, strong pressure right up the middle by Briggs helps Mark Anderson get a sack. 3... 2... 1... punt off.
The IDIOTS punt right to Hester, who takes it at his 43, makes one cut and blazes up the far sideline and gets all the way inside the 5. First and goal, Cutler.
Forte gets down to the 1 on a cutback. Looked like he would score but Andra Davis fired in at the last second. Forte jumps in on the second try.
If Josh McDaniels and his coaching staff aren't smart enough not to punt DIRECTLY to Devin Hester, then they should all be fired at halftime.
Chicago 10, Denver 3.
Hillis is Dumervil is spotting Pace 77 pounds in that matchup, btw. Olson makes an impressive over-the-head catch at the Bronco 48 at the 2:00 warning.
Not so fast, McDaniels challenges the catch, but the call stands after a LENGTHY review. Heartbreak Hill arriving early tonight as the Ed Hochuli-led crew has officially thrown their MILLIONTH flag of the night. Offsetting penalties, Denver timeout, this half should probably end in time for the regular season to start, but I can't be sure. Nice blitz pickup by Forte gives Cutler time to go deep to
Devin Aromashadu at the goal line but Goodman gets back to break up the pass. Cutler drills to Hester down to the Bronco 28 for another first. 0:45 left. A late hit on Cutler by Dumervil gets Chicago down to the 14. Cutler has clearly been watching soccer - he took a freaking dive there. Dumervil didn't hit him that hard. About 8 to Bennett at the 6, where Chicago uses its last TO. Incomplete for Bennett at the 2. Third and 2, Cutler does a nice job keeping his feet moving in the pocket and hits Forte at the goal line for the TD with :13 left. I have no idea what the booth is reviewing. I guess they're not sure Forte controlled the ball. The TD should count, though. And it indeed does.
Sorry, Bronco fans, but Jay Cutler has won the first half tonight, and decisively.
Halftime score: Chicago 17, Denver 3.
Bears start the second half backed up at their 6 with a backfield of Caleb Hanie and Kevin Jones. That and 25 cents'll get you a three-and-out.
Tom Brandstater gets the call for the 2nd half at QB. Chris Simms is out injured. Hillis at tailback. Bears successfully mess up the timing of the smoke route to Royal - there's more smoke at "Mile High" tonight than a cigar bar - and force a punt that Britton Colquitt bounces on the sideline at the 2. 58 yard punt.
So here are the Bears backed up at their goal line AGAIN. This is like the eighth time tonight. Hanie hangs Brandon Rideau out to dry up the far sideline at the 26, and what would have been a nice overhead catch is DESTROYED by Brian Dawkins. My kingdom for a punter. Broncos return the punt to midfield but are of course flagged for an illegal block. Who wants to bet they 3-and-out, then pin the Bears inside the 10 with the punt again? This game is in an endless loop!
False start has Denver at the 34 instead of midfield, but Buckhalter - good to see he's ok - bolts around left end for 21, then Hillis shows some shake and bake and gets down to the 28 with a 17-yard run. Solid blocks by Daniel Graham on both plays. Chad Jackson also got a nice block on Buckhalter's run. If you've seen Brandstater pass, you know why Denver's doing nothing but running here, but Chicago's not stopping it. What I believe is Clady's third penalty of the night sets Denver back 10; 2nd-16 from the Chicago 34. Nice pass to Buckhalter in the flat for 5. He's taken down a mile out of bounds by Briggs, but Hochuli gets Alex Brown for roughing the passer instead. First down Denver at the 16. The Bears stiffen and bat down a rollout pass and shut down a Buckhalter run. Brandstater audibles "OMAHA!" which must be a change to a fade up the sideline and he hits Brandon Lloyd inside the 1. Lloyd gets his helmet torn off and somehow there's no penalty. The Bears stuff the first run but Hillis is in over left tackle the second time around.
Chicago 17, Denver 10.
Bears get incredible field position to start the ensuing drive. Their 20. That's too much prosperity for Chicago, so they false start and move back to the 15. 3-and-out after a drop by Derek Kinder.
Broncos continue to dominate the field position battle, starting this drive at their 44. It's still Buckhalter for the Broncos. Where's Knowshown Moreno? Brandstater makes a nice play to stay alive in the pocket on 2nd down, but a bad throw, high and through Royal's hands to Chicago for an INT. I think it was Briggs. No one's saying so FREAKING ANDREA KREMER can do a FREAKING SIDELINE INTERVIEW with Cutler. Bears take over at midfield. And it was Marcus Freeman with the INT, not Briggs.
After a Hanie no-gain scramble, Wolfe gets 5-6 off right tackle. Denver's all over the third-down flare to Wolfe and the Bears have to punt yet again. Hanie's getting about as far tonight as Jessica Simpson at the Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions.
Brandstater, by contrast, is looking a lot better than his previous preseason outings, hitting Richard Quinn across midfield off a rollout to get the Denver offense rolling.
End of third quarter: Chicago 17, Denver 10.
Brandstater hits Kenny McKinley on the sideline for another first down. A personal foul we never see because they're doing a puff interview with worthless piece of shit Rodney Harrison puts Denver at the 19. Denver challenges an incomplete pass call, but McKinley's foot is ruled out of bounds correctly. Brandstater and Darius Walker then blow the next handoff and Matt Toeaina flops on it for Chicago. Can we stop the interview with the worthless piece of shit now and GET BACK TO THE GAME????????
From the 21, Not That Adrian Peterson up the middle for 7-8. Oh good, we're still fucking interviewing Harrison. Nic Clemons hauls Peterson down for a loss. Broncos blitz big on 3rd-and-3, but Hanie hangs in there and hits Johnnie Knox beautifully down the near sideline for 40+ yards. 1st-10 at the Denver 29. Peterson gets a huge hole off the right side for 17 down to the 12. Peterson weaves through the middle for a TD the next play. Bears were just knocking the Broncos all over the place that drive.
Still 10:50 left.
Chicago 24, Denver 10.
Broncos finally get bad field position after, guess, what, a penalty on the kick return. Screen to Walker for no gain at the 12. Nice pass to McKinley gets them out to the 32. The connection goes deep to the Bear 14 after Brandstater steps up from what appeared to be an imminent sack. And death. Walker bolts down to the 3 on two carries, but the Bears stuff him twice at the 1 to force third down. But Walker hurdles a tackle in the backfield and zips around the left corner for the score.
Chicago 24, Denver 17.
Fucking worthless Firefox ate what I had posted originally for the last 5:00 of the game. In summary, Brent Basanez actually looked competent enough to shake the title of Worst Player of the Preseason, hitting Juaquin Iglesias up the sideline with a nice 25-yard pass and hitting Michael Gaines all alone inside the Denver 30 with another long pass. Not That Adrian Peterson pretty much ground out the rest of the clock and Denver's timeouts.
MVP: Sorry, Denver fans, but it's Jay Cutler, 15-21-144 in a half of play in front of the most hostile audience of his career, the showpiece of which was a 98-yard TD drive that put the Bears ahead to stay.
What did we learn: Cutler showed a lot of mental toughness tonight that many, certainly including me, wondered if he even had. The big question on the Bears offense now, unfortunately, is Orlando Pace, who did nothing but struggle tonight at LT. That may cause trouble for Cutler down the line. I didn't cover it real well here, but Chicago's secondary also looks highly questionable. I don't know what's going on in Denver - it all looks chaotic to me. Is Buckhalter really the main RB there? Where's Moreno? Is the offense planning to operate with or without Brandon Marshall? Were Clady and Harris just off tonight, or what was with all the penalties? The good news is that Dumervil arrived as a marquee pass rusher, and their secondary, though a little long in the tooth, looks like it'll be just fine with Bailey, Dawkins and Goodman.
Up next: Odds are very good that I'm jumping ahead to game 50, the epic Governor's Cup matchup Thursday night between the Rams and Chiefs. When/if I start to fill in the blanks of the halves of Weeks 1-3 I'm missing, it'll go up on the main page at RamView.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Game 39: Whiners 20, Cowboys 13
Now off to a rivalry that used to mean a whole lot more than it does now, with the Whiners trekking to Jerry Jones' Palace in Dallas. I'll have three hours to complain about their scoreboard controversy - why start now?
Still can't figure out NFL Network's local broadcast pattern. Dallas is the home team for this one, but we're getting the Whiner broadcast crew. What did happen to the old one-half-for-each-team broadcasts? Are some local broadcasters telling the NFL to buzz off?
One thing we can assume - whatever NFL Network's doing differently this preseason, it's very probably cheaper.
Dallas gets the ball first at their 20, standard starting backfield of Tony Romo and Marion Barber. Short drag to Jason Witten for a couple. Patrick Willis all over that. Barber up the middle for 2-3 more. Romo gets a long time to throw on 3rd down with SF just bringing 4, and he gets it to Kevin Ogletree on the sideline at the 30. Like how Romo looks downfield instead of settling for dumps, though an incomplete after a Barber run sets him up for 3rd-and-6. No problem, he loops another to Ogletree down the middle for 34. Ball at the SF36. Romo keeps firing downfield but misses Ogletree by a lot on 2nd down. 3rd-10. Whiner D stays very vanilla and Romo finds Witten for only 3. Nick Folk hits from 48, but there's a holding call on the attempt. I think it's Cory Procter who just cost them 3 points. Mat McBriar's punt hits just the end zone, not the stupid freaking scoreboard.
The 49ers line up with official starting QB Shaun Hill behind center. Swing pass to Gore goes for 8, and the Whiners really drive the Cowboys back to get Gore 4 more and the first. Gore again, right side for 4 more. Isaac Bruce starts at WR. His motion clears out space for Michael Robinson for around 10 and another first at the 47. Gore off the left side for 5. Jay Ratliff jumps a mile offside to give up another first. Whiners quickly to the Dallas 38. Hill hangs in the pocket forever and eventually throws it away in Bruce's direction. Good coverage by Dallas. Pass over the middle for Vernon Davis is too high. 3rd-10. Uselessly, the Whiners go Wildcat formation with Michael Spurlock in the shotgun, but he just hands off to Gore off-tackle with no deception whatsoever and very little gain. That was a real WTF play. End zone now leads the score board 2-0 after the punt.
Barber up the middle for a couple to the 22. He works off the left side for six behind a good block from Witten. 49ers take a timeout. Barber drives through Dre Bly for three and the first. Justin Smith forces Romo to roll right, and Romo can't connect with Miles Austin at the sideline. Austin slips on a 2nd down route and Romo's nearly picked off by Bly. The Whiners give him forever to throw on 3rd down, though, and he hits Austin over the middle for 22. The 49ers only rushed three there and left Witten all alone 5 yards downfield, too. But Romo still found the deep man for the first down. With the ball at the SF48, the Whiners use their second TO of the drive, perhaps concerned that this game has been moving at too nice a pace. Or maybe they want to ask their d-coordinator why they're being so passive on pass rush so far. Smoke route to Austin actually works for 12, as Patrick Crayton rode Bly out of the play nicely. No gain for Felix Jones.
TERRIBLE back-foot throw by Romo is picked off by Mark Roman near the goal line and returned all the way to the Dallas 40. May have been a bad route by Ogletree but it certainly wasn't a smart throw by Romo. 49er ball.
Hill tries to go up top after the turnover but his throw is laughably five yards short of Bruce running the go route and nearly picked. Vintage Shaun Hill. Handoff to Robinson gets 2 before Michael Jenkins cuts down a swing pass to Gore to force a punt. Whiners down it at the 6.
You know that new show "Flash Forward"? Something weird has gone on here in the NFL Network time and space continuum. Suddenly we've got the Dallas broadcast, it's the second quarter, and the Cowboys have made it all the way across midfield. That's eight kinds of bizarre. Romo hits Austin on the near sideline at the SF 30. Maybe Jerry Jones manipulated time and space and just put Dallas out at midfield. Solid pull block by Witten gives Barber an alley to run down to the 15. Barber has 10 carries tonight, more than Steven Jackson will have the entire preseason. Dre Bly mysteriously goes down without contact to stop the clock. Hmm, that's not often good. Kentwan Balmer shuts down Barber at the 13 to force 3rd-and-6. Justin Smith gets after Romo on a stunt again, but Tony rolls right again and hits Witten at the 5. First and goal. Just 1 for Barber. Delay handoff to Felix Jones up the middle gets Dallas a TD, though. Great. Are they planning to pull Barber out near the goal line and have Jones vulture TDs away? Thanks for screwing with my second-round FFL strategy tomorrow night, Dallas.
Dallas 7, San Francisco 0.
13-play, 94-yard, 8-plus minute drive there for Dallas, some of which NFL Network even let us see.
49ers on deck now at their 15. Now we've got the 49er broadcast feed back. Bly just cramped up and should return. Dallas decaffeinates the 49ers here, holding Glen Coffee to a yard on first down and sacking Hill on 3rd down, with Ratliff pretty much walking right by Chilo Rachal. The punt doesn't go well, at all, for Frisco, either, with Terrance Newman returning it 43 to the SF 15. Don't blame the coverage there, blame Andy Lee's AWFUL line drive punt. Don't tell me visiting punters are going to get a don't-hit-the-scoreboard complex.
Dallas in, um, pretty good field position with 5:15 till the half. SF penalty on the return actually makes it first and goal just inside the 10. Romo to who? FB Julius Crosslin? in the flat for 3. Jones sweeps left end down to the 3. Parys Haralson and Bly both miss him in the backfield. Right side of the Cowboy line false-starts on 3rd-and-goal. Good pressure by Ray McDonald, whipping Leonard Davis right up the middle, flushes Romo, who then THROWS to Crayton at the 2 instead on keeping it when he could have easily run it in on his own. Folk chips it in from 25 out.
Dallas 10, San Francisco 0.
Allen Rossum is returning kicks for the 49ers now, another reason for Rams fans to worry about their special teams this year. Penalty on the next return puts them back at their 10, though, with about 2:40 till the half. Coffee grinds out 14 on two carries as the 2:00 warning arrives. Dallas blitzes after a 5-yard Coffee screen and Hill can't get much on the sideline incompletion. 3rd-5. Arnaz Battle is wide open on the drag, though, and takes it out across the 45. Pressure forces a Hill throwaway, then he flings a poor screen for Coffee incomplete on 2nd down. Battle bails him out with an impressive diving catch at the Dallas 35. Newman nearly picks him off on 2nd down. Hill couldn't get any velocity on the ball even if he just dropped one off the roof of a tall building. Effective drive by the Whiners, though, thanks mostly to Battle, and they're down to the Dallas 25 with 11 seconds left. FG by Joe Nedney from there.
Ogletree jukes a Whiner and returns the kickoff back across midfield, but not before time expires.
Halftime score: Dallas 10, San Francisco 3.
Whiners will start the second half from their 20. Handoffs and screens to Coffee, one beating a blitz on third down, get them across the 40 before another Cowboy blitz on 3rd down forces a Hill throwaway and a punt.
Dallas takes over at their 23 with Jon Kitna at QB. Tashard Choice enters the game at tailback. Kitna hits Martellus Bennett at the 39 to beat a 3rd-down blitz, but the Whiners blow up a screen two plays later and Kitna throws well wide of Austin on 3rd down. Austin was out of sync that whole possession.
Whiners back in charge at their 21. DAMON HUARD is in now for the Whiners at QB. He hit a screen for 12 and a sideline pass for 13 more while the 49er sideline reporter blathers on about Dallas' luxury suites, you know, like the one right on the field where all you can see are the cheerleaders. Sack for Anthony Spencer after that, though, followed by a pass clanging off Delanie Walker's hand and Huard pitching out of bounds to avoid the rush on third down. Huard's in because Alex Smith has an injured finger. Musta caught it from Bulger.
Crayton returns the punt all the way out to the 45. Not a lot of good punt coverage tonight by Frisco's backups. Choice plows across midfield on 2nd down but Kitna well overthrows Bennett in the flat on 3rd. No, that was not Drew Bennett. Punter!
What, no more Huard? Nate Davis at QB now at the SF 12. New tailback Kory Sheets bounces outside for 13, and gets 8 more on a screen. Davis gets forever on third and 1 and hits a deep hitch to Walker for about 20 to the Dallas 45. Diving sideline catch by Spurlock at the 20. After buying himself a lot of time while staying in the pocket, Davis spears Joe Jon Finley at the 1. Superb play there by the young QB. Unfortunately, we're now threatened with a tie preseason game. Sheets dives over the top like a salmon diving down a waterfall to even the score.
End of third quarter: San Francisco 10, Dallas 10.
Kitna to Bennett at midfield to start the 4th quarter. 13 to Choice on a draw while Patrick Willis is interviewed on the sidelines and says the Cowboys "are still my team" because he rooted for them as a kid. Well, that was a questionable thing to say. Choice bolts around right end for 18 to put Dallas inside the 20. He's up the middle for about 10 more as the Whiners suddenly aren't stopping a thing. Best news for Frisco here is that he has to come off the field with cramps on 3rd-and-1 inside the 10. Sure enough, Jeff Ulbrich holds up Keon Lattimore to force 4th-and-1. DALLAS IS LEGALLY OBLIGED TO KICK THE FG HERE, TAKE THE LEAD, AND PREVENT THE TIE AT ALL COSTS. Which Folk does, giving Dallas the lead with still 11:00 to play.
Dallas 13, San Francisco 10.
49ers assume control at their 23. Brutal facemask by Jason Hatcher for 15, though unlike nearly all NFL players, he appears to show actual remorse. Doesn't help the Whiners much, as they commit a hold and Davis gets sacked. Way too much for two screens to Sheets to overcome, especially when he drops the second one. Punt's away with about 7:50 left.
Clutch play by Frisco here, as Eric Green strips a ball out of Isaiah Stanback's hands after a catch and Reggie Smith recovers at the Dallas 30. Seems like that's the first turnover of the game, with 7:30 left. Britt Miller fields a ball I was certain bounced off the ground, gets back up and runs it down to the 15. Looks like he got his hand and arm under it; fine call by the referees. Cowboys tighten the screws from there and force 3rd-and-8. Inside handoff to Sheets out of Wildcat formation gets down to the 7, where Singletary will surely go for it on 4th-and-2, with 4:00 left.
NO FUCKING WAY. THEY KICK A FIELD GOAL? SINGLETARY, YOU S.O.B.!
San Francisco 13, Dallas 13.
Singletary should be fined and suspended by the league for opting to tie a preseason game with 4:00 left. Especially when it's a possession Dallas handed to them in the first place with a turnover. Bastard.
Let's go, Dallas. Kitna at the 19. Pass to TE John Phillips up the seam to beat a blitz out to the 36. But I think I know now why we had that weird time skip in the 2nd quarter; that was probably the edit to fit OVERTIME into the 3-hour window for the NFL Network broadcast. Kitna hits another TE, Scott Chandler, across midfield, though. Dumpoff to Lattimore leaves 3rd-1 at the 39, THEN KITNA FUMBLES THE SNAP. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Dallas to punt at the 2:00 warning.
You'd better fucking score this drive, Singletary. I do not suffer preseason overtime gladly, especially when you had every opportunity to prevent it. 1:52 left from the 9. Two straight incompletions by Davis. Then the Dallas rush forces him to scramble wildly into the end zone and chuck up little more than a prayer for Jason Hill far up the sideline. And fucking idiot DB Courtney Brown obliges the Whiners with a brutal, idiotic pass interference penalty. Jerry Jones wishes Brown luck in his future endeavors cleaning toilets at the Dallas Palace. God damn moron! Frisco at their 36, instead of punting from the back of their end zone. Davis beats back to back Cowboys blitzes, hitting Dominique Ziegler at the Cowboy 46 with :54 left. Dominique, as spelled and pronounced, is a woman's name, btw. Dominic is a man's name. OH GREAT, THE REPLAY OFFICIAL WANTS A REVIEW. Why? It's pretty obviously a catch by Ziegler. Thanks for the delay, dumbasses.
Looks like Singletary's going to avoid OT after all, though I'm not apologizing to him. Spurlock burns DeAngelo Smith badly on the drag - they didn't even use a pick on the play - gets a perfect throw from Smith, and takes it all the way down to the 12.
NOW EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WADE PHILLIPS IS USING TIMEOUTS. Let them kick the FG and go home! Sheets drives up the middle instead for a 11-yard TD; great effort. Dallas can't get anywhere the last 20 seconds to send us home.
Final score: San Francisco 20, Dallas 13.
MVP: Nate Davis (10-15-132) willed the Whiners from behind, got that miraculously stupid DPI to get the 49ers out of a hole in the last 2:00 and completed a great pass to Spurlock that was effectively FTW. He surely locked up a roster spot in the process.
What did we learn: If that was Frisco's regular-season game-planning, their defense is going to be surprisingly passive and not rely on blitzing much. I find that hard to believe, however. I also find it hard to believe that Shaun Hill (9-17-79) is going to complete many passes if it's a windy day outside. Their running game looked a lot less stronger against a team that actually knows how to defend the run. And look out for Spurlock in Wildcat mode. If you're going up against Tony Romo, obviously, you're going to want to try to take away the TEs. I still don't think they have established a go-to wideout. They tried to make Austin a big part of the first-half offense but he appeared to be sleepwalking. I think Jenkins' influence is being felt in their secondary. They were good back there today; you can usually count on the Cowboy secondary to be bad.
Up next: Jay Cutler's tearful reunion with his old Denver fans on NBC at 7 pm.
Still can't figure out NFL Network's local broadcast pattern. Dallas is the home team for this one, but we're getting the Whiner broadcast crew. What did happen to the old one-half-for-each-team broadcasts? Are some local broadcasters telling the NFL to buzz off?
One thing we can assume - whatever NFL Network's doing differently this preseason, it's very probably cheaper.
Dallas gets the ball first at their 20, standard starting backfield of Tony Romo and Marion Barber. Short drag to Jason Witten for a couple. Patrick Willis all over that. Barber up the middle for 2-3 more. Romo gets a long time to throw on 3rd down with SF just bringing 4, and he gets it to Kevin Ogletree on the sideline at the 30. Like how Romo looks downfield instead of settling for dumps, though an incomplete after a Barber run sets him up for 3rd-and-6. No problem, he loops another to Ogletree down the middle for 34. Ball at the SF36. Romo keeps firing downfield but misses Ogletree by a lot on 2nd down. 3rd-10. Whiner D stays very vanilla and Romo finds Witten for only 3. Nick Folk hits from 48, but there's a holding call on the attempt. I think it's Cory Procter who just cost them 3 points. Mat McBriar's punt hits just the end zone, not the stupid freaking scoreboard.
The 49ers line up with official starting QB Shaun Hill behind center. Swing pass to Gore goes for 8, and the Whiners really drive the Cowboys back to get Gore 4 more and the first. Gore again, right side for 4 more. Isaac Bruce starts at WR. His motion clears out space for Michael Robinson for around 10 and another first at the 47. Gore off the left side for 5. Jay Ratliff jumps a mile offside to give up another first. Whiners quickly to the Dallas 38. Hill hangs in the pocket forever and eventually throws it away in Bruce's direction. Good coverage by Dallas. Pass over the middle for Vernon Davis is too high. 3rd-10. Uselessly, the Whiners go Wildcat formation with Michael Spurlock in the shotgun, but he just hands off to Gore off-tackle with no deception whatsoever and very little gain. That was a real WTF play. End zone now leads the score board 2-0 after the punt.
Barber up the middle for a couple to the 22. He works off the left side for six behind a good block from Witten. 49ers take a timeout. Barber drives through Dre Bly for three and the first. Justin Smith forces Romo to roll right, and Romo can't connect with Miles Austin at the sideline. Austin slips on a 2nd down route and Romo's nearly picked off by Bly. The Whiners give him forever to throw on 3rd down, though, and he hits Austin over the middle for 22. The 49ers only rushed three there and left Witten all alone 5 yards downfield, too. But Romo still found the deep man for the first down. With the ball at the SF48, the Whiners use their second TO of the drive, perhaps concerned that this game has been moving at too nice a pace. Or maybe they want to ask their d-coordinator why they're being so passive on pass rush so far. Smoke route to Austin actually works for 12, as Patrick Crayton rode Bly out of the play nicely. No gain for Felix Jones.
TERRIBLE back-foot throw by Romo is picked off by Mark Roman near the goal line and returned all the way to the Dallas 40. May have been a bad route by Ogletree but it certainly wasn't a smart throw by Romo. 49er ball.
Hill tries to go up top after the turnover but his throw is laughably five yards short of Bruce running the go route and nearly picked. Vintage Shaun Hill. Handoff to Robinson gets 2 before Michael Jenkins cuts down a swing pass to Gore to force a punt. Whiners down it at the 6.
You know that new show "Flash Forward"? Something weird has gone on here in the NFL Network time and space continuum. Suddenly we've got the Dallas broadcast, it's the second quarter, and the Cowboys have made it all the way across midfield. That's eight kinds of bizarre. Romo hits Austin on the near sideline at the SF 30. Maybe Jerry Jones manipulated time and space and just put Dallas out at midfield. Solid pull block by Witten gives Barber an alley to run down to the 15. Barber has 10 carries tonight, more than Steven Jackson will have the entire preseason. Dre Bly mysteriously goes down without contact to stop the clock. Hmm, that's not often good. Kentwan Balmer shuts down Barber at the 13 to force 3rd-and-6. Justin Smith gets after Romo on a stunt again, but Tony rolls right again and hits Witten at the 5. First and goal. Just 1 for Barber. Delay handoff to Felix Jones up the middle gets Dallas a TD, though. Great. Are they planning to pull Barber out near the goal line and have Jones vulture TDs away? Thanks for screwing with my second-round FFL strategy tomorrow night, Dallas.
Dallas 7, San Francisco 0.
13-play, 94-yard, 8-plus minute drive there for Dallas, some of which NFL Network even let us see.
49ers on deck now at their 15. Now we've got the 49er broadcast feed back. Bly just cramped up and should return. Dallas decaffeinates the 49ers here, holding Glen Coffee to a yard on first down and sacking Hill on 3rd down, with Ratliff pretty much walking right by Chilo Rachal. The punt doesn't go well, at all, for Frisco, either, with Terrance Newman returning it 43 to the SF 15. Don't blame the coverage there, blame Andy Lee's AWFUL line drive punt. Don't tell me visiting punters are going to get a don't-hit-the-scoreboard complex.
Dallas in, um, pretty good field position with 5:15 till the half. SF penalty on the return actually makes it first and goal just inside the 10. Romo to who? FB Julius Crosslin? in the flat for 3. Jones sweeps left end down to the 3. Parys Haralson and Bly both miss him in the backfield. Right side of the Cowboy line false-starts on 3rd-and-goal. Good pressure by Ray McDonald, whipping Leonard Davis right up the middle, flushes Romo, who then THROWS to Crayton at the 2 instead on keeping it when he could have easily run it in on his own. Folk chips it in from 25 out.
Dallas 10, San Francisco 0.
Allen Rossum is returning kicks for the 49ers now, another reason for Rams fans to worry about their special teams this year. Penalty on the next return puts them back at their 10, though, with about 2:40 till the half. Coffee grinds out 14 on two carries as the 2:00 warning arrives. Dallas blitzes after a 5-yard Coffee screen and Hill can't get much on the sideline incompletion. 3rd-5. Arnaz Battle is wide open on the drag, though, and takes it out across the 45. Pressure forces a Hill throwaway, then he flings a poor screen for Coffee incomplete on 2nd down. Battle bails him out with an impressive diving catch at the Dallas 35. Newman nearly picks him off on 2nd down. Hill couldn't get any velocity on the ball even if he just dropped one off the roof of a tall building. Effective drive by the Whiners, though, thanks mostly to Battle, and they're down to the Dallas 25 with 11 seconds left. FG by Joe Nedney from there.
Ogletree jukes a Whiner and returns the kickoff back across midfield, but not before time expires.
Halftime score: Dallas 10, San Francisco 3.
Whiners will start the second half from their 20. Handoffs and screens to Coffee, one beating a blitz on third down, get them across the 40 before another Cowboy blitz on 3rd down forces a Hill throwaway and a punt.
Dallas takes over at their 23 with Jon Kitna at QB. Tashard Choice enters the game at tailback. Kitna hits Martellus Bennett at the 39 to beat a 3rd-down blitz, but the Whiners blow up a screen two plays later and Kitna throws well wide of Austin on 3rd down. Austin was out of sync that whole possession.
Whiners back in charge at their 21. DAMON HUARD is in now for the Whiners at QB. He hit a screen for 12 and a sideline pass for 13 more while the 49er sideline reporter blathers on about Dallas' luxury suites, you know, like the one right on the field where all you can see are the cheerleaders. Sack for Anthony Spencer after that, though, followed by a pass clanging off Delanie Walker's hand and Huard pitching out of bounds to avoid the rush on third down. Huard's in because Alex Smith has an injured finger. Musta caught it from Bulger.
Crayton returns the punt all the way out to the 45. Not a lot of good punt coverage tonight by Frisco's backups. Choice plows across midfield on 2nd down but Kitna well overthrows Bennett in the flat on 3rd. No, that was not Drew Bennett. Punter!
What, no more Huard? Nate Davis at QB now at the SF 12. New tailback Kory Sheets bounces outside for 13, and gets 8 more on a screen. Davis gets forever on third and 1 and hits a deep hitch to Walker for about 20 to the Dallas 45. Diving sideline catch by Spurlock at the 20. After buying himself a lot of time while staying in the pocket, Davis spears Joe Jon Finley at the 1. Superb play there by the young QB. Unfortunately, we're now threatened with a tie preseason game. Sheets dives over the top like a salmon diving down a waterfall to even the score.
End of third quarter: San Francisco 10, Dallas 10.
Kitna to Bennett at midfield to start the 4th quarter. 13 to Choice on a draw while Patrick Willis is interviewed on the sidelines and says the Cowboys "are still my team" because he rooted for them as a kid. Well, that was a questionable thing to say. Choice bolts around right end for 18 to put Dallas inside the 20. He's up the middle for about 10 more as the Whiners suddenly aren't stopping a thing. Best news for Frisco here is that he has to come off the field with cramps on 3rd-and-1 inside the 10. Sure enough, Jeff Ulbrich holds up Keon Lattimore to force 4th-and-1. DALLAS IS LEGALLY OBLIGED TO KICK THE FG HERE, TAKE THE LEAD, AND PREVENT THE TIE AT ALL COSTS. Which Folk does, giving Dallas the lead with still 11:00 to play.
Dallas 13, San Francisco 10.
49ers assume control at their 23. Brutal facemask by Jason Hatcher for 15, though unlike nearly all NFL players, he appears to show actual remorse. Doesn't help the Whiners much, as they commit a hold and Davis gets sacked. Way too much for two screens to Sheets to overcome, especially when he drops the second one. Punt's away with about 7:50 left.
Clutch play by Frisco here, as Eric Green strips a ball out of Isaiah Stanback's hands after a catch and Reggie Smith recovers at the Dallas 30. Seems like that's the first turnover of the game, with 7:30 left. Britt Miller fields a ball I was certain bounced off the ground, gets back up and runs it down to the 15. Looks like he got his hand and arm under it; fine call by the referees. Cowboys tighten the screws from there and force 3rd-and-8. Inside handoff to Sheets out of Wildcat formation gets down to the 7, where Singletary will surely go for it on 4th-and-2, with 4:00 left.
NO FUCKING WAY. THEY KICK A FIELD GOAL? SINGLETARY, YOU S.O.B.!
San Francisco 13, Dallas 13.
Singletary should be fined and suspended by the league for opting to tie a preseason game with 4:00 left. Especially when it's a possession Dallas handed to them in the first place with a turnover. Bastard.
Let's go, Dallas. Kitna at the 19. Pass to TE John Phillips up the seam to beat a blitz out to the 36. But I think I know now why we had that weird time skip in the 2nd quarter; that was probably the edit to fit OVERTIME into the 3-hour window for the NFL Network broadcast. Kitna hits another TE, Scott Chandler, across midfield, though. Dumpoff to Lattimore leaves 3rd-1 at the 39, THEN KITNA FUMBLES THE SNAP. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Dallas to punt at the 2:00 warning.
You'd better fucking score this drive, Singletary. I do not suffer preseason overtime gladly, especially when you had every opportunity to prevent it. 1:52 left from the 9. Two straight incompletions by Davis. Then the Dallas rush forces him to scramble wildly into the end zone and chuck up little more than a prayer for Jason Hill far up the sideline. And fucking idiot DB Courtney Brown obliges the Whiners with a brutal, idiotic pass interference penalty. Jerry Jones wishes Brown luck in his future endeavors cleaning toilets at the Dallas Palace. God damn moron! Frisco at their 36, instead of punting from the back of their end zone. Davis beats back to back Cowboys blitzes, hitting Dominique Ziegler at the Cowboy 46 with :54 left. Dominique, as spelled and pronounced, is a woman's name, btw. Dominic is a man's name. OH GREAT, THE REPLAY OFFICIAL WANTS A REVIEW. Why? It's pretty obviously a catch by Ziegler. Thanks for the delay, dumbasses.
Looks like Singletary's going to avoid OT after all, though I'm not apologizing to him. Spurlock burns DeAngelo Smith badly on the drag - they didn't even use a pick on the play - gets a perfect throw from Smith, and takes it all the way down to the 12.
NOW EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WADE PHILLIPS IS USING TIMEOUTS. Let them kick the FG and go home! Sheets drives up the middle instead for a 11-yard TD; great effort. Dallas can't get anywhere the last 20 seconds to send us home.
Final score: San Francisco 20, Dallas 13.
MVP: Nate Davis (10-15-132) willed the Whiners from behind, got that miraculously stupid DPI to get the 49ers out of a hole in the last 2:00 and completed a great pass to Spurlock that was effectively FTW. He surely locked up a roster spot in the process.
What did we learn: If that was Frisco's regular-season game-planning, their defense is going to be surprisingly passive and not rely on blitzing much. I find that hard to believe, however. I also find it hard to believe that Shaun Hill (9-17-79) is going to complete many passes if it's a windy day outside. Their running game looked a lot less stronger against a team that actually knows how to defend the run. And look out for Spurlock in Wildcat mode. If you're going up against Tony Romo, obviously, you're going to want to try to take away the TEs. I still don't think they have established a go-to wideout. They tried to make Austin a big part of the first-half offense but he appeared to be sleepwalking. I think Jenkins' influence is being felt in their secondary. They were good back there today; you can usually count on the Cowboy secondary to be bad.
Up next: Jay Cutler's tearful reunion with his old Denver fans on NBC at 7 pm.
Game 38: Steelers 17, Bills 0
Lucky me, I have stumbled my way into my fourth Buffalo Bills game of this preseason. Injuries loom as the big story line for this game: T.O.E. for Buffalo, Big Ben for Pittsburgh. Which team will perservere?
Steelers take the opening kickoff to the 29. Roethlisberger is playing, expectedly a lot, tonight, though Fast Willie Parker and Santonio Holmes are out. Completion to Mewelde Moore at the 44 gets Pittsburgh their first 1st down. Big Ben fires to Hines Ward for 23 more, barely getting the ball by Leodis McKelvin. Rashard Mendenhall gets a big crease from Trai Essex and spurts for 12 down to the 22, then craps all over his own parade with a fumble the next play. Kyle Williams knocked it out for Buffalo and I believe Keith Ellison recovered. Steelers still not getting the quality of play from Mendenhall they drafted him for.
Bills from their 26: we have a Roscoe Parrish sighting! Trent Edwards hits him for 4, and tries him again on 3rd-and-4, but DeShea Townsend breaks that up. Quick 3-and-out for the Bills there.
Steelers tee it up again at their 22. Buffalo stuffs Mendenhall twice more and have to settle for a diving Heath Miller catch for about 7. Off with the punt.
Cutback run by Marshawn Lynch for 17 gets the Bills rolling out to their 30. Fine block by the TE there, Derek Schoumann, who catches the next pass for 6 over the middle. But Edwards is hit as he goes deep sideline for Parrish on 3rd down and Buffalo's punting again. His elbow hit his own blocker in the head as he tried to follow through.
17-yard return by Stefan Logan and a penalty set Pittsburgh up nicely with the punt. But so much for momentum, as they blow the snap on first down. Ben falls on it, though. Mendenhall gets 12 on a draw from the 30. Nice hit there by RT Willie Colon to open up the hole. Ben gets forever to throw on 3rd-and-2 and hits Moore on the cross out to midfield. Mike Wallace makes a couple miss on an end around left for 10, and add 15 more because he was speared at the end. No, Limas Sweed held; play it over. Wow, bad hands, penalties, not that fast, what's not to like about Sweed? Until he makes a leaping catch at the 34 on third down to move the chains, that is. Quarter runs out with the Steelers facing 3rd-and-10 from there.
End of first quarter: no score.
Continuing to get all the time he needs to throw, Ben hits Ward at the 18 for a first down, beating Reggie Corner the corner. The Bills finally get to Ben a couple of plays later, with former holdout Aaron Maybin scoring a coverage sack to force a FG. Piotr (CHELSEA SUCKS!) Czech gives the Steelers the lead from 35. Bills are playing pretty vanilla D and are covering the Steeler receivers well, but need to get better pressure on Ben if they're going to prevent continued long drives.
Pittsburgh 3, Buffalo 0.
Bills launch from their 18. Edwards gets plenty of time to throw and looks for Josh Reed crossing, but apparently never sees James Farrior, who jumps the route like it was meant for him and returns it 22 yards for a TD. Terrible freaking throw by Edwards. It was so low it never would have gotten to Reed.
Buffalo's move to acquire T.O.E. is going to prove useless as poorly as Edwards is playing this preseason. He ranks as one of the NFL's big disappointments thus far.
Pittsburgh 10, Buffalo 0.
Edwards saw Farrior on the INT but Farrior fooled him into thinking he was going to pursue the receiver running the shallow cross counter to Reed's route. Bills re-form the herd at their 9, and James Harrison stops Dominic Rhodes for -1 at RDE, then, dropping back into coverage, ENGULFS him and drills him to the ground after a 3-yard gain on a short pass. Edwards throws wild for Reed at the sideline. Edwards is getting plenty of time to throw. The Steelers are covering very well, but there's still no good word to describe Edwards at QB other than Awful.
I really like Stefan Logan. He catches the kick and immediately starts moving upfield. 12 for him here on this return, when most young returners would have started running sideline to sideline and backwards and come off the field frustrated when they couldn't get more than 2 yards with all that space in front of them.
Steelers at their 42. Underthrown deep ball for Mike Wallace. McKelvin's covering very well tonight after looking kind of blase the rest of preseason. Interesting sequence on 3rd-and-8. Ben completes to Sweed for 6, then orders the punt team to stay on the sideline on 4th-and-2. He gets Kyle Williams to flinch a couple of times on hard counts, but can't ultimately draw the offsides and calls timeout. Heck of a way to disguise the hard-count ploy. That's a trick the Steelers might have been better off saving for the regular season, though.
A Steeler offsides and a Parrish end-around get Buffalo a rare first down at their 24. Dumpoff to Rhodes works for about 20. Dumpoffs must be the top end of Edwards' range, as on the next play, he pitifully one-hops one to Lee Evans WIDE open 15 yards downfield. Edwards then misses a smoke route to Reed by a country mile. And he's sacked by Farrior on third down. Farrior's big night continues after he fights off the blitz pickup by Rhodes.
Look alive on that Buffalo bench, Ryan Fitzpatrick. You'll be starting before you know it.
Pittsburgh now at their 17. Dumpoff to Mendenhall out to the 30 for a 1st. Ben escapes a sack and hits Sweed at midfield. Tough catch by Sweed; throw was well behind him. Sweed then bobbles an 18-yarder he should have had in bounds for a catch. Bills blitz doesn't get there on 3rd-and-8, and Ben's good to Ward over the middle at the 34. Ben gets another epoch to throw before scrambling around and lobbing to Miller for 20 more. Ball at the Buffalo 15. Mendenhall bumps down to the 13 at the 2:00 warning. 6 to Ward, then Mendenhall bops outside and drives to the 4 to make it 1st-and-goal. Clock still running inside 1:00. Ward can't come up with the diving catch of a pretty inaccurate effort by Ben on first down. No matter, with the Bills appearing to be playing pass, Essex and Colon clean house on the right side and Mendenhall has a huge gap for a 4-yard TD run. Black and gold domination in the first half in Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
Thanks to NFL Network "spoilers", I know the final score of this game, and no offense to the Steelers, (the Bills can be as offended as they want; their play this first half has been offensive), but we're now in "screw this game" mode the rest of the way.
Buffalo doesn't really even try to move the ball in the last 0:20 of the half, and Edwards STILL looks like a spaz out there.
Halftime score: Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
Pittsburgh out-passed Buffalo in the first half 164 to 22.
Rhodes hits the seam and gets the second-half opening kickoff out to the 32. Xavier Omon now at tailback. Another 3-and-out for Edwards, who's hit by Farrior as he throws on third down.
Steelers at their 38. Watching the NFL Network crawl, I see the league has enough attention to detail to notice Chad JOHNSON wore an orange chinstrap Thursday night, but at the same time, not enough attention to detail to make sure Jerry Jones didn't hang his freaking giant TV in the Dallas Palace too low to keep it from getting hit by punts. Idiots.
We also learn the Bengals have just FINALLY signed first-round pick Andre Smith. Who wants to bet he's up to 4 bills and has bigger boobs than Sherri Shepherd right now?
And BWA-HA-HA, the Whiners STILL don't have first-round pick Michael Crabtree signed.
Steelers roll out the second string, and then some, with Charlie Batch and Justin Vincent in the backfield. Batch hits Brandon Williams breaking to the sideline for a 1st down at the 48, then escapes the rush and hits TE Dezmond Sherrod for 20. Dezmond? Maybin beats the Steeler second-string to get to Batch, but Batch still hits SHAUN MCDONALD at the 20 for another first down. After the Bills stuff a Vincent sweep on 2nd down, Dallas Baker fails to make a diving end zone catch and sends in the FG team. Czech gags badly from 40, however.
Bills at their 30. Ryan Fitzpatrick finally in for Buffalo, and he hits Justin Jenkins with easily Buffalo's best pass of the night for 17. Good sideline pass to Parrish for about 9. The Steelers stuff Omon on third-and-1, though, making Buffalo 0-for-6 on third down tonight. Steve Spagnuolo must think Dick Jauron is a wild man for trying to go for it on 4th down. The Bills false start anyway (Shawn Nelson), and opt for the boot.
You'll be pleased to know I balanced my checkbook for July during that last possession. Still a month behind, though.
McDonald gets the Steelers moving with another first down catch, and you have to think he has made this team. Punishing Isaac Redman at RB now for Pittsburgh. First down pass to Brandon Williams across the 35 as Steeler QBs continue to get tons of time. Redman bulldozes 19 yards with a screen pass after a Jeremy Parquet holding penalty on first down, and converts with a plunge to end the third quarter with the Steelers near midfield.
End of third quarter: Steelers 17, Bills 0.
Hopefully the Steelers will just grind out the rest of the fourth quarter from here. Yes, I know there's 15:00 left. Bah, 3rd-and-long from midfield, Brandon Williams barely fails to come up with a diving catch of a Batch bomb inside the 10. Looked like a pretty sweet pass to me; needed to be caught.
Fitz will try to matriculate Buffalo from their 20. He overthrows Parrish, though. At least he's got the arm to overthrow somebody, TRENT EDWARDS. Arnold Harrison bowls over the center for a sack, and Keyaron Fox bowls over Omon, the intended receiver for the screen pass, blowing up the third down play.
ANOTHER exciting return for Stefan Logan, 20-plus yards across midfield. Sorry for the hype, but I don't know what's going to keep this kid from being the NFL's -best- punt returner very quickly. He's smart, fast, uses his blockers well... you don't want to outkick your coverage like Buffalo just did here, that's for sure.
And did I mention that he ALWAYS heads straight upfield after the catch?
Steelers at the Bills 49. Mike Reilly reports at QB for the home team. Play-action to Williams for 12. After a holding penalty, Reilly comes up short on a third-down scramble, and Redman comes up even shorter on 4th-and-1, to re-gift Buffalo the ball.
Fitzpatrick continuing to fire bullets, compared to Edwards, at least. He drills it to Jenkins across midfield, and hits Parrish again near the Steeler 30. With Parrish still on the field this late in a preseason game, the Bills have to be trying to showcase him for other teams, don't they? Yet? He hasn't been all that special tonight. 6:00 to play. Fitz barely avoids a middle blitz and scrambles inside the 20. Go Fitz! From there, though, Joe Burnett knocks down a pass and the Steelers don't let anything else inside the 15. Bills settle for a Lindell FG on 4th-and-5 - WHAT'S THE POINT? - and BURNETT BLOCKS THE KICK.
Dick Jauron deserved that for that decision. You're really trying to kick a FG to save face during a preseason game?
The only thing that could possibly top that is a boll weevil mascot punching an aardvark mascot in the groin. And, there you go.
2:48 left, let's get to the showers and get out of here. My checkbook also balanced for August, btw. Reilly's third down pass to David Johnson inside the 2:00 warning is the last throe for this dog.
Final score: Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
MVP: James Farrior, who had at least one sack and made a nifty play to fool Trent Edwards into throwing a pick six to him, as Pittsburgh took it to Buffalo right away and effectively ended this game in the first quarter.
What did we learn: Roethlisberger looks fine coming off the injury. I'm not as sold on the running game with Mendenhall as I'd like to be, though. Right side of the Steeler line is really showing signs of coming together and could settle that issue for them. Steelers continue to dominate on D and Logan continues to be the revelation of the preseason on punt returns. Buffalo's got serious problems. I know the o-line has been totally rebuilt, but Edwards still looks like crap. He was making poor passes when he had time. If he continues to be absolute crap, T.O.E.'s certain to start sniping, and the Bills are going to crumple like like tinfoil while proving as impossible to smooth back out.
Up next: I'll go for Whiners-Cowboys, coming up next from the Palace of Dallas.
Steelers take the opening kickoff to the 29. Roethlisberger is playing, expectedly a lot, tonight, though Fast Willie Parker and Santonio Holmes are out. Completion to Mewelde Moore at the 44 gets Pittsburgh their first 1st down. Big Ben fires to Hines Ward for 23 more, barely getting the ball by Leodis McKelvin. Rashard Mendenhall gets a big crease from Trai Essex and spurts for 12 down to the 22, then craps all over his own parade with a fumble the next play. Kyle Williams knocked it out for Buffalo and I believe Keith Ellison recovered. Steelers still not getting the quality of play from Mendenhall they drafted him for.
Bills from their 26: we have a Roscoe Parrish sighting! Trent Edwards hits him for 4, and tries him again on 3rd-and-4, but DeShea Townsend breaks that up. Quick 3-and-out for the Bills there.
Steelers tee it up again at their 22. Buffalo stuffs Mendenhall twice more and have to settle for a diving Heath Miller catch for about 7. Off with the punt.
Cutback run by Marshawn Lynch for 17 gets the Bills rolling out to their 30. Fine block by the TE there, Derek Schoumann, who catches the next pass for 6 over the middle. But Edwards is hit as he goes deep sideline for Parrish on 3rd down and Buffalo's punting again. His elbow hit his own blocker in the head as he tried to follow through.
17-yard return by Stefan Logan and a penalty set Pittsburgh up nicely with the punt. But so much for momentum, as they blow the snap on first down. Ben falls on it, though. Mendenhall gets 12 on a draw from the 30. Nice hit there by RT Willie Colon to open up the hole. Ben gets forever to throw on 3rd-and-2 and hits Moore on the cross out to midfield. Mike Wallace makes a couple miss on an end around left for 10, and add 15 more because he was speared at the end. No, Limas Sweed held; play it over. Wow, bad hands, penalties, not that fast, what's not to like about Sweed? Until he makes a leaping catch at the 34 on third down to move the chains, that is. Quarter runs out with the Steelers facing 3rd-and-10 from there.
End of first quarter: no score.
Continuing to get all the time he needs to throw, Ben hits Ward at the 18 for a first down, beating Reggie Corner the corner. The Bills finally get to Ben a couple of plays later, with former holdout Aaron Maybin scoring a coverage sack to force a FG. Piotr (CHELSEA SUCKS!) Czech gives the Steelers the lead from 35. Bills are playing pretty vanilla D and are covering the Steeler receivers well, but need to get better pressure on Ben if they're going to prevent continued long drives.
Pittsburgh 3, Buffalo 0.
Bills launch from their 18. Edwards gets plenty of time to throw and looks for Josh Reed crossing, but apparently never sees James Farrior, who jumps the route like it was meant for him and returns it 22 yards for a TD. Terrible freaking throw by Edwards. It was so low it never would have gotten to Reed.
Buffalo's move to acquire T.O.E. is going to prove useless as poorly as Edwards is playing this preseason. He ranks as one of the NFL's big disappointments thus far.
Pittsburgh 10, Buffalo 0.
Edwards saw Farrior on the INT but Farrior fooled him into thinking he was going to pursue the receiver running the shallow cross counter to Reed's route. Bills re-form the herd at their 9, and James Harrison stops Dominic Rhodes for -1 at RDE, then, dropping back into coverage, ENGULFS him and drills him to the ground after a 3-yard gain on a short pass. Edwards throws wild for Reed at the sideline. Edwards is getting plenty of time to throw. The Steelers are covering very well, but there's still no good word to describe Edwards at QB other than Awful.
I really like Stefan Logan. He catches the kick and immediately starts moving upfield. 12 for him here on this return, when most young returners would have started running sideline to sideline and backwards and come off the field frustrated when they couldn't get more than 2 yards with all that space in front of them.
Steelers at their 42. Underthrown deep ball for Mike Wallace. McKelvin's covering very well tonight after looking kind of blase the rest of preseason. Interesting sequence on 3rd-and-8. Ben completes to Sweed for 6, then orders the punt team to stay on the sideline on 4th-and-2. He gets Kyle Williams to flinch a couple of times on hard counts, but can't ultimately draw the offsides and calls timeout. Heck of a way to disguise the hard-count ploy. That's a trick the Steelers might have been better off saving for the regular season, though.
A Steeler offsides and a Parrish end-around get Buffalo a rare first down at their 24. Dumpoff to Rhodes works for about 20. Dumpoffs must be the top end of Edwards' range, as on the next play, he pitifully one-hops one to Lee Evans WIDE open 15 yards downfield. Edwards then misses a smoke route to Reed by a country mile. And he's sacked by Farrior on third down. Farrior's big night continues after he fights off the blitz pickup by Rhodes.
Look alive on that Buffalo bench, Ryan Fitzpatrick. You'll be starting before you know it.
Pittsburgh now at their 17. Dumpoff to Mendenhall out to the 30 for a 1st. Ben escapes a sack and hits Sweed at midfield. Tough catch by Sweed; throw was well behind him. Sweed then bobbles an 18-yarder he should have had in bounds for a catch. Bills blitz doesn't get there on 3rd-and-8, and Ben's good to Ward over the middle at the 34. Ben gets another epoch to throw before scrambling around and lobbing to Miller for 20 more. Ball at the Buffalo 15. Mendenhall bumps down to the 13 at the 2:00 warning. 6 to Ward, then Mendenhall bops outside and drives to the 4 to make it 1st-and-goal. Clock still running inside 1:00. Ward can't come up with the diving catch of a pretty inaccurate effort by Ben on first down. No matter, with the Bills appearing to be playing pass, Essex and Colon clean house on the right side and Mendenhall has a huge gap for a 4-yard TD run. Black and gold domination in the first half in Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
Thanks to NFL Network "spoilers", I know the final score of this game, and no offense to the Steelers, (the Bills can be as offended as they want; their play this first half has been offensive), but we're now in "screw this game" mode the rest of the way.
Buffalo doesn't really even try to move the ball in the last 0:20 of the half, and Edwards STILL looks like a spaz out there.
Halftime score: Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
Pittsburgh out-passed Buffalo in the first half 164 to 22.
Rhodes hits the seam and gets the second-half opening kickoff out to the 32. Xavier Omon now at tailback. Another 3-and-out for Edwards, who's hit by Farrior as he throws on third down.
Steelers at their 38. Watching the NFL Network crawl, I see the league has enough attention to detail to notice Chad JOHNSON wore an orange chinstrap Thursday night, but at the same time, not enough attention to detail to make sure Jerry Jones didn't hang his freaking giant TV in the Dallas Palace too low to keep it from getting hit by punts. Idiots.
We also learn the Bengals have just FINALLY signed first-round pick Andre Smith. Who wants to bet he's up to 4 bills and has bigger boobs than Sherri Shepherd right now?
And BWA-HA-HA, the Whiners STILL don't have first-round pick Michael Crabtree signed.
Steelers roll out the second string, and then some, with Charlie Batch and Justin Vincent in the backfield. Batch hits Brandon Williams breaking to the sideline for a 1st down at the 48, then escapes the rush and hits TE Dezmond Sherrod for 20. Dezmond? Maybin beats the Steeler second-string to get to Batch, but Batch still hits SHAUN MCDONALD at the 20 for another first down. After the Bills stuff a Vincent sweep on 2nd down, Dallas Baker fails to make a diving end zone catch and sends in the FG team. Czech gags badly from 40, however.
Bills at their 30. Ryan Fitzpatrick finally in for Buffalo, and he hits Justin Jenkins with easily Buffalo's best pass of the night for 17. Good sideline pass to Parrish for about 9. The Steelers stuff Omon on third-and-1, though, making Buffalo 0-for-6 on third down tonight. Steve Spagnuolo must think Dick Jauron is a wild man for trying to go for it on 4th down. The Bills false start anyway (Shawn Nelson), and opt for the boot.
You'll be pleased to know I balanced my checkbook for July during that last possession. Still a month behind, though.
McDonald gets the Steelers moving with another first down catch, and you have to think he has made this team. Punishing Isaac Redman at RB now for Pittsburgh. First down pass to Brandon Williams across the 35 as Steeler QBs continue to get tons of time. Redman bulldozes 19 yards with a screen pass after a Jeremy Parquet holding penalty on first down, and converts with a plunge to end the third quarter with the Steelers near midfield.
End of third quarter: Steelers 17, Bills 0.
Hopefully the Steelers will just grind out the rest of the fourth quarter from here. Yes, I know there's 15:00 left. Bah, 3rd-and-long from midfield, Brandon Williams barely fails to come up with a diving catch of a Batch bomb inside the 10. Looked like a pretty sweet pass to me; needed to be caught.
Fitz will try to matriculate Buffalo from their 20. He overthrows Parrish, though. At least he's got the arm to overthrow somebody, TRENT EDWARDS. Arnold Harrison bowls over the center for a sack, and Keyaron Fox bowls over Omon, the intended receiver for the screen pass, blowing up the third down play.
ANOTHER exciting return for Stefan Logan, 20-plus yards across midfield. Sorry for the hype, but I don't know what's going to keep this kid from being the NFL's -best- punt returner very quickly. He's smart, fast, uses his blockers well... you don't want to outkick your coverage like Buffalo just did here, that's for sure.
And did I mention that he ALWAYS heads straight upfield after the catch?
Steelers at the Bills 49. Mike Reilly reports at QB for the home team. Play-action to Williams for 12. After a holding penalty, Reilly comes up short on a third-down scramble, and Redman comes up even shorter on 4th-and-1, to re-gift Buffalo the ball.
Fitzpatrick continuing to fire bullets, compared to Edwards, at least. He drills it to Jenkins across midfield, and hits Parrish again near the Steeler 30. With Parrish still on the field this late in a preseason game, the Bills have to be trying to showcase him for other teams, don't they? Yet? He hasn't been all that special tonight. 6:00 to play. Fitz barely avoids a middle blitz and scrambles inside the 20. Go Fitz! From there, though, Joe Burnett knocks down a pass and the Steelers don't let anything else inside the 15. Bills settle for a Lindell FG on 4th-and-5 - WHAT'S THE POINT? - and BURNETT BLOCKS THE KICK.
Dick Jauron deserved that for that decision. You're really trying to kick a FG to save face during a preseason game?
The only thing that could possibly top that is a boll weevil mascot punching an aardvark mascot in the groin. And, there you go.
2:48 left, let's get to the showers and get out of here. My checkbook also balanced for August, btw. Reilly's third down pass to David Johnson inside the 2:00 warning is the last throe for this dog.
Final score: Pittsburgh 17, Buffalo 0.
MVP: James Farrior, who had at least one sack and made a nifty play to fool Trent Edwards into throwing a pick six to him, as Pittsburgh took it to Buffalo right away and effectively ended this game in the first quarter.
What did we learn: Roethlisberger looks fine coming off the injury. I'm not as sold on the running game with Mendenhall as I'd like to be, though. Right side of the Steeler line is really showing signs of coming together and could settle that issue for them. Steelers continue to dominate on D and Logan continues to be the revelation of the preseason on punt returns. Buffalo's got serious problems. I know the o-line has been totally rebuilt, but Edwards still looks like crap. He was making poor passes when he had time. If he continues to be absolute crap, T.O.E.'s certain to start sniping, and the Bills are going to crumple like like tinfoil while proving as impossible to smooth back out.
Up next: I'll go for Whiners-Cowboys, coming up next from the Palace of Dallas.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Game 37: Falcons 27, Chargers 24
Wow, after that brutal Raiders performance, I deserve a good long 3-hour look at the San Diego Chargers cheerleaders next....
WHAT, THE CHARGERS ARE ON THE ROAD?!?!? With their amazing cheerleaders, they should get to play all four preseason games at home.
Greg (Thank God He's Not Bryant) Gumbel and Dan Fouts (not Dierdorf?) on the call for CBS. Unfortunately, since this is preseason, there'll be a lot of holding back tonight, unlike the legendary Bourbon Bowl that Fouts called with Brent Musberger.
Also, CBS can go straight to HELL for describing Ben Roethlisberger's lucky desperation swipe at Nick Harper in the playoffs a few years ago as "The Tackle" in their pregame credits. THE TACKLE is CLEARLY Mike Jones' play on the last play of Super Bowl XXXIV. THERE CAN BE NO OTHER.
Falcons win the toss. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner take over at their 23. Let's see if they are as machine-like as they were in St. Louis last week. Play-action to Tony Gonzalez for 9. Turner bounces off a couple of tackles for 3 and the first. Turner up the middle for 4. Sideline pass for Roddy White is horrible; third down. Pass pressure from Shawne Merriman likely forced the bad throw. Chargers blitz; Atlanta picks it up and goes deep for White but the only guy who can make a play on the ball is Quentin Jammer for San Diego. Incomplete, let's bring in the punt team.
Falcons blitz right off the bat but Philip Rivers finds BRANDON MANUMALEUNA for close to 10. Looks like LT is getting the game off tonight. Darren Sproles cuts back and gets a first down at the 37. Let's see, this drive started at the 25. Blatant horse collar tackle by John Abraham on Sproles on a 3rd-down pass racks San Diego up at the Falcon 38. Good blitz pickup by Sproles gives Rivers time to wing a pretty sideline pass to Vincent Jackson, who makes a pretty catch over Brent Grimes at the 10. Sproles speeds in from there on 2nd-and-goal with another cutback off the right side. Sweet drive there by the Chargers.
San Diego 7, Atlanta 0.
Thomas Brown amazingly doesn't fumble the kickoff return for Atlanta despite being tripped by Legedu Naanee and falling on his face at full speed. Ouch. Falcons at their 30. Big hole right up the middle for Turner for 11. Play-action pass to Turner for 4. Give FB Ovie Mughelli credit for the big hole on the earlier run. Ryan finds Gonzalez for a first down into Charger territory. 22-yard pass to White down to the 19 as Ryan's line continues to get him plenty of time. Turner bangs down to the 12 on 2 handoffs. 3rd-3. Ryan guns to Brian Finneran, who breaks 3 tackles inside the 10 yard line and dives into the end zone.
San Diego 7, Atlanta 7.
Sproles returns the kickoff to the 35, and look out, gets a screen from there and gets out to the 50 with it. Dang is that guy fast. Jacob Hester moves in at tailback now, and gains nothing around right end. He's stuffed again on 2nd down. They bring Sproles back in for another screen, but Kory Biermann, the Rams' tormentor from last week, catches up to him after 6-7 yards to instigate a punting incident.
Falcons start at the 9. Just 3 up the middle for Turner. Chargers definitely look sturdier at the line than the Rams did last week. They certainly look sturdier blowing up a tricky pitchout to Jerious Norwood on 3rd and short. The second quarter will open with a Falcon punt.
End of first quarter: San Diego 7, Atlanta 7.
Atlanta's furious blitzing gets San Diego into an early hole after the punt but Rivers fires a 20-yard pass to Malcolm Floyd at the 31 for a first down. Michael Bennett now getting action at tailback. They advance to midfield, then, facing 3rd-and-17 after a penalty, Rivers fires to Chris Chambers breaking to the sideline for 18. Beat yet another Atlanta blitz. Ball at the Falcon 34. This is going to be a 200-yard drive, the rate at which the Charger line is committing penalties. Huge blitz over right tackle drops Rivers for a big loss. 3rd-and-24 near midfield. The Falcons don't blitz, and San Diego runs their favorite play, a screen, to Bennett, he turns the right corner and is GONE for a 49-yard TD. Blocking out in front of Bennett, guard Louis Vasquez takes out THREE Falcons at the same time.
San Diego 14, Atlanta 7.
John McCain, ER, Mike Smith, is yelling at his defense hard enough after that TD to induce an aneurysm. Start the Falcons at their 30. Fine blitz pickup by Jason Snelling gives Ryan time to hit Michael Jenkins out at midfield on 3rd-and-8. Turner's still in for Atlanta, sweeping left for 5. Great play action as Ryan hits Marty Booker on the sideline for a first down at the Charger 40. Ryan barely avoids a sack on the blitz and dives to the 30. Turner cruises outside for 6. Chargers are tackling Turner a lot better than the Rams did last week, too. They stuff him at the 26 to get to 3rd-and-6. 4-man rush here as Antonio Cromartie stops Norwood short with a shot to the head, eventually getting flagged for it. Fouts talks about there being a NEW rule about that this year? A shot to the head like that should ALWAYS be illegal.
And now we have referee Alfonso Ribeiro telling us that it was a legal hit? I guess I'll never understand the NFL rulebook. It apparently looooves unnecessary hard shots to receivers' heads.
I liked Alfonso Riberio much better in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air than when he's ignoring guys getting blasted in the head by defensive players.
Oh. Alberto Riveron. OK.
Atlanta lined up to go for it on 4th-and-2, but San Diego called timeout, and Mike Smith then changed his mind. Jason Elam hits from 40. Rarely is a timeout more valuable than that one just was; it may have saved the Chargers 4 points.
San Diego 14, Atlanta 10.
Rivers leaves the game having thrown for 185 yards. San Diego's opening against THE RAIDERS? Frack, Rivers is going to throw for 600 yards. Billy Volek's in now for the Chargers, though. They just showed Charlie Whitehurst on the sideline - he looks like one of the Geico cavemen. LET ME BE MYSELF! No blitz for Atlanta here on 3rd-and-7, and Volek hits Floyd for 18 to the 41. Chargers are 6 for 7 on 3rd down; Atlanta can't figure anything out. 2:00 warning.
Suddenly San Diego doesn't look all that interested in scoring again, running Bennett smack up the middle twice for little gain. Craig "Buster" Davis then successfully juggles in a catch at the Atlanta 35. Another third down conversion! Bennett nearly scores again on a screen. He does get inside the 15. Volek beats a blitz with a sidearm throw to Floyd inside the 5 and he reaches out to the goal line with the ball for an apparent touchdown. It's reviewed but the call stands; TD for Floyd.
San Diego 21, Atlanta 10.
1:11 left in the first half. Due to circumstances beyond my control, not involving Merriman's retarded blue Mohawk, I'm going to have to cut bait for the night at halftime. Falcons take over at their 32. Ryan to Booker for 20. He fires to White inside the Charger 30 a couple of plays later. They use their last timeout with 15 seconds left and the ball at the Charger 22. Man did Ryan get them back downfield quickly. Good first half for both QBs, though Jammer nearly intercepts Ryan inside the 5 before Atlanta settles on an Elam 39-yard FG.
Halftime score: San Diego 21, Atlanta 13.
Back to work. Aw shucks, I missed ANOTHER preseason interview with Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Guy is on TV more than Obama. Chargers start the 2nd half with the ball at their 20. End-around left to Naanee for 8. Bigger guy and harder to tackle than I'd been thinking. Mike Tolbert gets 2.0001 on 3rd-and-2 to keep the drive going. Smallish RB Gartrell Johnson having trouble doing anything this drive other than getting hit hard. Volek converts ANOTHER third down, to Floyd across the 45. Johnson gets to midfield to leave 3rd-and-6. Gee, I wonder if San Diego will convert it. Yep, screen pass to Turner beats a blitz after the referees wave off a flag for a dirty-looking block by Kynan Forney on Peria Jerry. 3rd-and-4 now at the Falcon 44. Could it be - NO, it should have been another first down because his line got him a gigantic hole on a draw play, but Hester is too damn slow to get through there and gets shut down by Erik Coleman. Bennett, Sproles, Tomlinson and probably Jack Tripper are all San Diegans I can think of who would have broken that play big. Nate Kaeding then yaks a 50-yard FG attempt hard left. Clutch. Must have been all that wind in the Georgia Dome.
Falcons have super field position at their 39, Ryan remains in. Turner's still in, too. They're even going no-huddle. Effort doesn't pay off; on 3rd down Ryan nearly throws what would have been a BRUTAL INT right to Steve Gregory, who somehow manages to drop a ball that's all but handed to him. I don't even know who or where the intended Falcon receiver was on the play. Nobody around for ten yards but Chargers. They settle for a punt and get the ball back at their 19.
Charlie Whitehurst takes the just-invented wheel for San Diego. Johnson is still getting whaled on, but he bounces off a tough shot from Curtis Logton for 13 and a first. Whitehurst gets forever to throw on third down before deciding to scramble but gets cut down early by a rapidly closing Grimes.
Chris Redman the new QB for Atlanta at the 20. They overcome a holding penalty with completions to Justin Peelle, Booker and Finneran, then overcome a tripping penalty with a screen to Thomas Brown for 15. Perfectly set-up play. Redman hits his fifth straight pass out across midfield as the third quarter runs out.
End of third quarter: San Diego 21, Atlanta 13.
Atlanta's getting big holes for Snelling to run through. He's down to the 35 on a couple of handoffs. Naked bootleg to Booker on an out for 12-13 down to the 22. Chargers shut down Snelling for the first time at the 21. Redman's eighth straight completion is to Booker at the 11 for another first. Snelling drops a swing pass to end Redman's run. So how does Redman score after going 9-for-10 on the drive? He RUNS it in, spinning behind Thomas Brown's nice blitz pickup. Bless Mike Smith, the Falcons kick the PAT here, where I imagine they'd be going for two in the regular season.
San Diego 21, Atlanta 20.
Bennett breaks for 11 off left tackle after Tolbert gets knocked spaghetti-legged at the end of a 9-yard reception. Whitehurst drills a 16-yard slant to Craig Davis. 8:00 left. Lofton breaks up a deep throw on 3rd down that would have been a huge gainer. Big play there to force a punt.
Falcons at their 20 with about 7:00 left. Andre Coleman drops Thomas Brown for a loss on 2nd down, leaving 3rd-and-long. 3rd-down pass for Brown is incomplete and would have gained three yards at best anyway. What the hell kind of drive was that, down a point?
Chargers with a great chance to grind the clock down at their 32 with 5:09 to go. Johnson explodes through a hole on 3rd-and-1 and is off to the races for 42 yards. Chris Owens, who left earlier with an injury, tracks him down. The Falcons unquestionably have a fast secondary. Chargers at the Falcon 18 with 3:15 left. The Falcons stuff two Johnson sweeps and Antoine Harris breaks up a pass to force another FG attempt. Kaeding hits from 35-36 to force Atlanta to score a TD in the last 2:00.
San Diego 24, Atlanta 20.
Atlanta starts at their 26. DPI on C.J. Spillman gives Atlanta 14 at the 2:00 warning. 14 more to Troy Bergeron, dancing with the stars to the Charger 46. 6 more and out of bounds to Robert Ferguson. Fouts informs us there are no four-point plays in football. GEE, YOU THINK SO? Great throw, great catch as Ferguson is down to the Charger 22. San Diego offering almost no resistance. Redman hits Chandler Williams the second time around, an impressive catch at the 17. Paul Oliver breaks up the next pass to force 4th-and-5. Redman, though, hits Bergeron at the 7-yard line and Atlanta uses its final timeout with 1:01 left. Falcons go trips right, and it's Bergeron dancing down to the 2 now. In what may be a fateful move, the Chargers have the wrong personnel on the field now and have to use a timeout at 0:34. Atlanta tries to make San Diego overthink by motioning a WR into the backfield, but the Chargers aren't buying, and stuff the middle handoff at the 2. The Rams would have totally sold out on that play last week. On 3rd and goal, Redman can't find anyone and actually ends up diving out of bounds at the 5 to stop the clock. 4th and goal, this is it. Here comes the blitz! Redman throws over the top of it to Eric Weems, who beats Simeon Castille with relative ease on a post pattern. Atlanta takes the lead with 9 seconds left.
Whitehurst's Hail Mary only makes the Falcon 25, and banks off Gary Banks' hands anyway, as the clock expires.
Final score: Falcons 27, Chargers 24.
MVP: Clearly Redman, 15-19-134, running for a TD and throwing for another in just over one quarter of play. Redman didn't appear to have many takers as a free agent in the offseason; lucky for Atlanta.
What did we learn: Well, San Diego tackles better than the Rams, for what that's worth. Rivers looked sensational. This is not the deep team at RB it used to be, though. They're very ordinary after Sproles. The Falcons are still blitzing like it's September 1939, and with their mighty struggles on third down tonight, you have to wonder if this team will be able to put enough pressure on good teams when it has to. And they do play a lot of good teams. Ryan still looks fine, though he should have been picked at least once.
Up next: My Sunday quadrupleheader goal has been shot down by circumstance, but we'll go for Steelers-Bills at noon on NFL Network anyway.
WHAT, THE CHARGERS ARE ON THE ROAD?!?!? With their amazing cheerleaders, they should get to play all four preseason games at home.
Greg (Thank God He's Not Bryant) Gumbel and Dan Fouts (not Dierdorf?) on the call for CBS. Unfortunately, since this is preseason, there'll be a lot of holding back tonight, unlike the legendary Bourbon Bowl that Fouts called with Brent Musberger.
Also, CBS can go straight to HELL for describing Ben Roethlisberger's lucky desperation swipe at Nick Harper in the playoffs a few years ago as "The Tackle" in their pregame credits. THE TACKLE is CLEARLY Mike Jones' play on the last play of Super Bowl XXXIV. THERE CAN BE NO OTHER.
Falcons win the toss. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner take over at their 23. Let's see if they are as machine-like as they were in St. Louis last week. Play-action to Tony Gonzalez for 9. Turner bounces off a couple of tackles for 3 and the first. Turner up the middle for 4. Sideline pass for Roddy White is horrible; third down. Pass pressure from Shawne Merriman likely forced the bad throw. Chargers blitz; Atlanta picks it up and goes deep for White but the only guy who can make a play on the ball is Quentin Jammer for San Diego. Incomplete, let's bring in the punt team.
Falcons blitz right off the bat but Philip Rivers finds BRANDON MANUMALEUNA for close to 10. Looks like LT is getting the game off tonight. Darren Sproles cuts back and gets a first down at the 37. Let's see, this drive started at the 25. Blatant horse collar tackle by John Abraham on Sproles on a 3rd-down pass racks San Diego up at the Falcon 38. Good blitz pickup by Sproles gives Rivers time to wing a pretty sideline pass to Vincent Jackson, who makes a pretty catch over Brent Grimes at the 10. Sproles speeds in from there on 2nd-and-goal with another cutback off the right side. Sweet drive there by the Chargers.
San Diego 7, Atlanta 0.
Thomas Brown amazingly doesn't fumble the kickoff return for Atlanta despite being tripped by Legedu Naanee and falling on his face at full speed. Ouch. Falcons at their 30. Big hole right up the middle for Turner for 11. Play-action pass to Turner for 4. Give FB Ovie Mughelli credit for the big hole on the earlier run. Ryan finds Gonzalez for a first down into Charger territory. 22-yard pass to White down to the 19 as Ryan's line continues to get him plenty of time. Turner bangs down to the 12 on 2 handoffs. 3rd-3. Ryan guns to Brian Finneran, who breaks 3 tackles inside the 10 yard line and dives into the end zone.
San Diego 7, Atlanta 7.
Sproles returns the kickoff to the 35, and look out, gets a screen from there and gets out to the 50 with it. Dang is that guy fast. Jacob Hester moves in at tailback now, and gains nothing around right end. He's stuffed again on 2nd down. They bring Sproles back in for another screen, but Kory Biermann, the Rams' tormentor from last week, catches up to him after 6-7 yards to instigate a punting incident.
Falcons start at the 9. Just 3 up the middle for Turner. Chargers definitely look sturdier at the line than the Rams did last week. They certainly look sturdier blowing up a tricky pitchout to Jerious Norwood on 3rd and short. The second quarter will open with a Falcon punt.
End of first quarter: San Diego 7, Atlanta 7.
Atlanta's furious blitzing gets San Diego into an early hole after the punt but Rivers fires a 20-yard pass to Malcolm Floyd at the 31 for a first down. Michael Bennett now getting action at tailback. They advance to midfield, then, facing 3rd-and-17 after a penalty, Rivers fires to Chris Chambers breaking to the sideline for 18. Beat yet another Atlanta blitz. Ball at the Falcon 34. This is going to be a 200-yard drive, the rate at which the Charger line is committing penalties. Huge blitz over right tackle drops Rivers for a big loss. 3rd-and-24 near midfield. The Falcons don't blitz, and San Diego runs their favorite play, a screen, to Bennett, he turns the right corner and is GONE for a 49-yard TD. Blocking out in front of Bennett, guard Louis Vasquez takes out THREE Falcons at the same time.
San Diego 14, Atlanta 7.
John McCain, ER, Mike Smith, is yelling at his defense hard enough after that TD to induce an aneurysm. Start the Falcons at their 30. Fine blitz pickup by Jason Snelling gives Ryan time to hit Michael Jenkins out at midfield on 3rd-and-8. Turner's still in for Atlanta, sweeping left for 5. Great play action as Ryan hits Marty Booker on the sideline for a first down at the Charger 40. Ryan barely avoids a sack on the blitz and dives to the 30. Turner cruises outside for 6. Chargers are tackling Turner a lot better than the Rams did last week, too. They stuff him at the 26 to get to 3rd-and-6. 4-man rush here as Antonio Cromartie stops Norwood short with a shot to the head, eventually getting flagged for it. Fouts talks about there being a NEW rule about that this year? A shot to the head like that should ALWAYS be illegal.
And now we have referee Alfonso Ribeiro telling us that it was a legal hit? I guess I'll never understand the NFL rulebook. It apparently looooves unnecessary hard shots to receivers' heads.
I liked Alfonso Riberio much better in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air than when he's ignoring guys getting blasted in the head by defensive players.
Oh. Alberto Riveron. OK.
Atlanta lined up to go for it on 4th-and-2, but San Diego called timeout, and Mike Smith then changed his mind. Jason Elam hits from 40. Rarely is a timeout more valuable than that one just was; it may have saved the Chargers 4 points.
San Diego 14, Atlanta 10.
Rivers leaves the game having thrown for 185 yards. San Diego's opening against THE RAIDERS? Frack, Rivers is going to throw for 600 yards. Billy Volek's in now for the Chargers, though. They just showed Charlie Whitehurst on the sideline - he looks like one of the Geico cavemen. LET ME BE MYSELF! No blitz for Atlanta here on 3rd-and-7, and Volek hits Floyd for 18 to the 41. Chargers are 6 for 7 on 3rd down; Atlanta can't figure anything out. 2:00 warning.
Suddenly San Diego doesn't look all that interested in scoring again, running Bennett smack up the middle twice for little gain. Craig "Buster" Davis then successfully juggles in a catch at the Atlanta 35. Another third down conversion! Bennett nearly scores again on a screen. He does get inside the 15. Volek beats a blitz with a sidearm throw to Floyd inside the 5 and he reaches out to the goal line with the ball for an apparent touchdown. It's reviewed but the call stands; TD for Floyd.
San Diego 21, Atlanta 10.
1:11 left in the first half. Due to circumstances beyond my control, not involving Merriman's retarded blue Mohawk, I'm going to have to cut bait for the night at halftime. Falcons take over at their 32. Ryan to Booker for 20. He fires to White inside the Charger 30 a couple of plays later. They use their last timeout with 15 seconds left and the ball at the Charger 22. Man did Ryan get them back downfield quickly. Good first half for both QBs, though Jammer nearly intercepts Ryan inside the 5 before Atlanta settles on an Elam 39-yard FG.
Halftime score: San Diego 21, Atlanta 13.
Back to work. Aw shucks, I missed ANOTHER preseason interview with Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Guy is on TV more than Obama. Chargers start the 2nd half with the ball at their 20. End-around left to Naanee for 8. Bigger guy and harder to tackle than I'd been thinking. Mike Tolbert gets 2.0001 on 3rd-and-2 to keep the drive going. Smallish RB Gartrell Johnson having trouble doing anything this drive other than getting hit hard. Volek converts ANOTHER third down, to Floyd across the 45. Johnson gets to midfield to leave 3rd-and-6. Gee, I wonder if San Diego will convert it. Yep, screen pass to Turner beats a blitz after the referees wave off a flag for a dirty-looking block by Kynan Forney on Peria Jerry. 3rd-and-4 now at the Falcon 44. Could it be - NO, it should have been another first down because his line got him a gigantic hole on a draw play, but Hester is too damn slow to get through there and gets shut down by Erik Coleman. Bennett, Sproles, Tomlinson and probably Jack Tripper are all San Diegans I can think of who would have broken that play big. Nate Kaeding then yaks a 50-yard FG attempt hard left. Clutch. Must have been all that wind in the Georgia Dome.
Falcons have super field position at their 39, Ryan remains in. Turner's still in, too. They're even going no-huddle. Effort doesn't pay off; on 3rd down Ryan nearly throws what would have been a BRUTAL INT right to Steve Gregory, who somehow manages to drop a ball that's all but handed to him. I don't even know who or where the intended Falcon receiver was on the play. Nobody around for ten yards but Chargers. They settle for a punt and get the ball back at their 19.
Charlie Whitehurst takes the just-invented wheel for San Diego. Johnson is still getting whaled on, but he bounces off a tough shot from Curtis Logton for 13 and a first. Whitehurst gets forever to throw on third down before deciding to scramble but gets cut down early by a rapidly closing Grimes.
Chris Redman the new QB for Atlanta at the 20. They overcome a holding penalty with completions to Justin Peelle, Booker and Finneran, then overcome a tripping penalty with a screen to Thomas Brown for 15. Perfectly set-up play. Redman hits his fifth straight pass out across midfield as the third quarter runs out.
End of third quarter: San Diego 21, Atlanta 13.
Atlanta's getting big holes for Snelling to run through. He's down to the 35 on a couple of handoffs. Naked bootleg to Booker on an out for 12-13 down to the 22. Chargers shut down Snelling for the first time at the 21. Redman's eighth straight completion is to Booker at the 11 for another first. Snelling drops a swing pass to end Redman's run. So how does Redman score after going 9-for-10 on the drive? He RUNS it in, spinning behind Thomas Brown's nice blitz pickup. Bless Mike Smith, the Falcons kick the PAT here, where I imagine they'd be going for two in the regular season.
San Diego 21, Atlanta 20.
Bennett breaks for 11 off left tackle after Tolbert gets knocked spaghetti-legged at the end of a 9-yard reception. Whitehurst drills a 16-yard slant to Craig Davis. 8:00 left. Lofton breaks up a deep throw on 3rd down that would have been a huge gainer. Big play there to force a punt.
Falcons at their 20 with about 7:00 left. Andre Coleman drops Thomas Brown for a loss on 2nd down, leaving 3rd-and-long. 3rd-down pass for Brown is incomplete and would have gained three yards at best anyway. What the hell kind of drive was that, down a point?
Chargers with a great chance to grind the clock down at their 32 with 5:09 to go. Johnson explodes through a hole on 3rd-and-1 and is off to the races for 42 yards. Chris Owens, who left earlier with an injury, tracks him down. The Falcons unquestionably have a fast secondary. Chargers at the Falcon 18 with 3:15 left. The Falcons stuff two Johnson sweeps and Antoine Harris breaks up a pass to force another FG attempt. Kaeding hits from 35-36 to force Atlanta to score a TD in the last 2:00.
San Diego 24, Atlanta 20.
Atlanta starts at their 26. DPI on C.J. Spillman gives Atlanta 14 at the 2:00 warning. 14 more to Troy Bergeron, dancing with the stars to the Charger 46. 6 more and out of bounds to Robert Ferguson. Fouts informs us there are no four-point plays in football. GEE, YOU THINK SO? Great throw, great catch as Ferguson is down to the Charger 22. San Diego offering almost no resistance. Redman hits Chandler Williams the second time around, an impressive catch at the 17. Paul Oliver breaks up the next pass to force 4th-and-5. Redman, though, hits Bergeron at the 7-yard line and Atlanta uses its final timeout with 1:01 left. Falcons go trips right, and it's Bergeron dancing down to the 2 now. In what may be a fateful move, the Chargers have the wrong personnel on the field now and have to use a timeout at 0:34. Atlanta tries to make San Diego overthink by motioning a WR into the backfield, but the Chargers aren't buying, and stuff the middle handoff at the 2. The Rams would have totally sold out on that play last week. On 3rd and goal, Redman can't find anyone and actually ends up diving out of bounds at the 5 to stop the clock. 4th and goal, this is it. Here comes the blitz! Redman throws over the top of it to Eric Weems, who beats Simeon Castille with relative ease on a post pattern. Atlanta takes the lead with 9 seconds left.
Whitehurst's Hail Mary only makes the Falcon 25, and banks off Gary Banks' hands anyway, as the clock expires.
Final score: Falcons 27, Chargers 24.
MVP: Clearly Redman, 15-19-134, running for a TD and throwing for another in just over one quarter of play. Redman didn't appear to have many takers as a free agent in the offseason; lucky for Atlanta.
What did we learn: Well, San Diego tackles better than the Rams, for what that's worth. Rivers looked sensational. This is not the deep team at RB it used to be, though. They're very ordinary after Sproles. The Falcons are still blitzing like it's September 1939, and with their mighty struggles on third down tonight, you have to wonder if this team will be able to put enough pressure on good teams when it has to. And they do play a lot of good teams. Ryan still looks fine, though he should have been picked at least once.
Up next: My Sunday quadrupleheader goal has been shot down by circumstance, but we'll go for Steelers-Bills at noon on NFL Network anyway.
Game 36: Saints 45, Raiders 7
I fall behind early here waiting TEN MINUTES for the Raiders website to load over my dialup connection. I get the whole Saints roster up, with thumbnail mugshots of every player, before I can even get off the stupid Raiders' splash page. So I'm rooting for the Saints today.
John Tournour being a 43-year old man reporting from the sideline using a wacky radio morning zoo nickname is another good reason to root for the Saints today. It is reasonably awesome, however, that the Raider pregame show regales us with a feature called "Weinerschnitzel Winning Ways". #1 today: stop the run. Gee, you think so, after the Whiners ran for about 1,000 yards last week?
The Raiders' webpage IS STILL LOADING so I have to pause again for kickoff. Thank God I have the option to read their page in TAGALOG, though. Might as well go track down soda #16 of this year's challenge while I wait for the Library of Freaking Raider Congress.com to come up.
Sebastian Janikowski blasts the opening kickoff about 80 yards to start us off. End-around to Devery Henderson for 5. Starting Saint backfield of Drew Brees and Mike Bell, with Reggie Bush and Pierre Thomas both out injured. No surprise on that first one. Brees to Jeremy Shockey for 21. Former Rams washout Jon Alston starting at OLB today for Oakland. Short over the middle to Lance Moore for 9. Heh, didn't the Weinerschnitzel Winning Ways say the Raiders need to stop the run? Do the Saints have to run? Bell slips and falls but gets the first down at the Raider 44. Play action (as if) pass to Moore for 7. Brees to Shockey running free up the middle for 21-22 more. Bell gets them inside the 10. 2nd-4 from the 9. 4.9 more off right tackle. 3rd down at the 4. Bell should have the first down on the leap. Good stop by the Raiders, but he needed to gain almost nothing. Yep, 1st-goal. Heath Evans gets stuck behind the line but bounces left and through for the TD.
New Orleans 7, Oakland 0.
Well, that was quick. The Saints took less time to drive 80 yards than it took for the Raiders' website to load.
Jamarcus Russell and I think Michael Bush lead Oakland from their 25. Quick slant to Darius Heyward-Bey for 12. TE Zach Miller's all alone in the Saint secondary for 35 more. Roman Harper comes in on a blitz, though, and tomahawks the ball out of Russell's hand from the blindside, and Jonathan Vilma recovers the loose ball for a turnover. Bend, don't break, eh.
Well, that was quick. The Raiders turned the ball over much quicker than it takes for their website to load.
Fake-pitch left, screen right to Shockey for a few. Quick slant to Moore, who spins out of Chris Johnson's (yes, he who started the 2005 Rams season stepping out of bounds at the 1 with a kick return) tackle for a first down at the 45. The Raiders extend them to 3rd-and-6 at midfield, but the Saints screen to Bell into a blitz and gain 10. Lynell Hamilton, who I think played center for the Flyin' Illini in the 80s, over left tackle for 1. Nnamdi Asomugha knocks a pass away from Moore. But on 3rd and 9, Brees gets forever to throw against a Raider 4-man rush, and hits Henderson WIDE OPEN against Hiram Eugene for a 40-yard TD.
New Orleans 14, Oakland 0.
Well, that was quick. The Saints were up two TDs quicker than it takes for the Raiders' website to load.
I'll also say this. Before you experts out there doom the Rams to the first overall draft pick in 2010, I have to say they look markedly better than the Lions and Bengals, and they're a damn sight better on defense than the Raiders. Now, the Raiders may have the weapons to win a lot of games 39-38, but they're going to need that to have any chance at .500 in 2009. This defense is atrocious.
Oakland'll start at their 22 next, which is pretty much where they stop. Russell goes deep for DHB on 3rd down but is nearly picked off by Usama Young at the sideline.
Well, that was quick. The Raiders went 3-and-out far faster than it takes for their website to load.
Back to the Saints, at their 21. Desmond Bryant gets to Brees for a sack. Poor blitz pickups by Evans and Hamilton. That was Lowell Hamilton who played for the Illini, btw. Because it's the Raiders, the Saints get their 17 yards back on 2 runs. The Raiders get them to 3rd-and-10, but Brees finds Henderson in front of Michael Huff for about 15 at the Raider 35. A couple more completions get New Orleans a first down inside the Raider 30.
Drew Brees threw for 158 yards in the first quarter.
End of first quarter: New Orleans 14, Oakland 0.
Saints start the 2nd quarter at the Raider 23. It was actually 2nd-and-short, which Hamilton converted around right end at the 20. Marques Colston gets his first look of the day and breaks inside the 5. Play action to Moore in the end zone, easy TD pass beating Tyvon Branch.
Well, that was quick - oh, never mind.
New Orleans 21, Oakland 0.
My fantasy league drafts Monday night. I pick 9th, wonderful. But I'm pretty sure my first-round pick will be "whoever's playing against Oakland".
Oakland will try again from their 23. Here we go! Darren McFadden explodes off right tackle for 22. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, holding, Oakland. 1st-20, they play-action to McFadden for 7ish. 6 more on a flare to Zach Miller. Do they chuck it deep on 3rd-and-7? No, Russell hits Louis Murphy over the middle, but Murphy loses the ball trying to tuck it away. The ruling is incomplete pass, which I tend to agree with. Either way, Murphy's maintaining his reputation for the drops from college. The Saints challenge but the play stands as called; punt away.
Saints at their 40. They could probably stick Guido Merkens at QB right now and score a TD. Well, same thing, Mark Brunell. Handoff to Lionel Hamilton - I know him now, he's the master of the vibraphone - for 3. Rollout left is incomplete as Stanford Routt has Robert Meacham blanketed. Hamilton drops a screen pass as the Raiders FINALLY gain a stop on defense.
And yes, that was Lionel Hampton playing vibraphone. Whattaya want for a 21-0 preseason game?
Russell makes a nice play to elude the rush, roll right and hit Murphy at midfield on 2nd-and-7, but the Saint DB strips it free before Murphy can put it away. Huge rush by Will Smith on that play, who absolutely whipped the Raider LT. Bad pass for Johnnie Lee Higgins on 3rd down and the Raiders are punting again.
Saints at about their 22. Routt breaks up a bomb for Meacham. Brunell steps up on 2nd down and hits Hamilton at the 34 for a first. Hamilton breaks a tackle after about 10 yards of a middle run and gains 10 more. From the Raider 48, Brunell underthrows a bomb for Moore but they get a blatant DPI on Routt. 1st down at the 17. I believe all fantasy football players should lobby the NFL to include DPI yardage as part of passing yards. Especially those of us who draft Drew Brees. More DPI on Routt sets the Saints up at the 8. The Saints go into classic preseason mode from there: two touchdown plays and a third pass that goes to Billy Miller inside the 5 are ALL called back due to Saint penalties totalling 20 yards. John Carney splits the uprights from 35.
New Orleans 24, Oakland 0.
Once again with feeling for Oakland from their 20. About 5:00 till halftime. Can't come soon enough. McFadden UNDRESSES Marvin Mitchell with a move on a screen pass and gains 10. Saints living dangerously with the blitz there. They call a fumble on the next play, a sweep left for McFadden, but I'm fairly sure he was down. If not, ANTHONY HARGROVE just made a play. That is reason alone to suspect the call on the field is wrong. Anthony Hargrove made a play?
Just thought I'd also mention Neck Lickey has seen action for the Saints today at center.
Um, I mean Nick Leckey. What do you want for a 24-0 preseason game?
Meanwhile, these Raiders look for all the world like the 2008 Rams.
ANTHONY HARGROVE MADE A PLAY! They don't overturn the fumble call, and Paul Spicer's return to the Raider 6-yard line stands. On 2nd-goal, Brunell rolls left and throws right to Hiram Eugene at the goal line, a mortifyingly stupid play. There wasn't a Saint receiver within a MILE of that pass! WTF kind of play is that for a 17-year veteran from Washington?
Wait a minute, was that Mark Brunell or Chris Chandler making that throw?
Eugene returned the pick back to the Raider 31. Oakland doesn't get it much farther than that. The Saints blitz on 3rd-and-4 and LB Troy Evans comes up the middle scot-free to sack Russell.
Again, if preseason means anything, the Raiders are going to be the 2008 Rams in 2009. I know teams can have bad records in preseason and go on to great seasons, and famously, the 0-16 Lions last year went 4-0 in preseason, but can a team really play as suckass as the Raiders have for three weeks and expect the regular season will be different?
Saints at their 23 after punts and re-punts and penalties, and viva preseason, whatever. Heartbreak Hill for this game hit about an hour ago and we're still climbing it. Robert Meacham makes that climb steeper and longer for Oakland fans and the rest of us saps watching this fiasco with a 71-yard catch-and-run. Routt missed a tackle BADLY after Meacham caught a short pass and the WR put on the jets from there. Chris Johnson gamely caught him at the 1-yard line at the 2:00 warning.
That's what the Saints drafted Meacham for a couple of years ago, btw. As if they needed any more weapons in the passing game. The Raiders stuff PJ Hill at the goal line on 1st down, but he leaps and twists in for the score with 1:21 left in the half.
New Orleans 31, 2008 St. Louis Rams 0.
Raiders play-by-play man Greg Papa now desperately trying to play down the significance of the third preseason game. Oakland has 1:15 to try to do something, anything, from their 31. Russell gets flushed right, has nobody open, get his arm hit on the throw, incomplete. And Robert Gallery held. 5 to Bush, with Russell nearly getting sacked again. 5 more to Zach Miller. 3rd-10ish.
THE SAINTS CALL TIMEOUT? I consider that a personal foul. 33 seconds left. The Saints whip the left side of the Raider line AGAIN with ANOTHER blitz and score ANOTHER sack of Russell. Jesus Freaking Christ, Oakland is bad today.
ANOTHER SAINT TIMEOUT? Did a bully in a Raiders shirt use to steal Sean Payton's lunch money when he was a kid? Rod Harper returns the kick across midfield, and the Saints throw two Big Ben passes. The Raiders don't get the first one knocked down, and Harper nearly makes a diving catch for it in the end zone. Chris Johnson intercepts the second one and returns it to midfield as the clock runs out, easily Oakland's most exciting play of the half.
Halftime score: New Orleans 31, Oakland 0.
For the first time this preseason, I am now in "screw this game" mode for a game. Expect fairly scanty details of the 2nd half, just hitting on any big stuff.
Halftime stats: First downs: Saints 19, Raiders 3.
Passing yards: Saints 252, Raiders 59.
Rushing yards: Saints 92, Raiders 1.
Time of possession: Saints 20:27, Raiders 9:33.
Well, at least the Raiders got their 6 penalties in.
Russell stays in, with Oakland at their 25. Zach Miller burns Troy Evans for 27. Rinse, wash, repeat for the Raiders from there. Russell remains under withering pressure from Bobby McCray and Saint blitzers destroying the Oakland LT. Higgins drops a third down pass to force a punt.
Brunell stays in for Nawlins, at the Saint 24. Bad 3-and-out possession for Rod Harper, who brutally drops a perfect Brunell pass near midfield and gets blanketed by Chris Johnson on 3rd. El punto.
After a pretty deep pass from Russell to Murphy at the 35 (pretty two-handed overhead catch, too), Murphy has the ball stripped away from him by Pierson Prieleau for yet another fumble. Looks like one thing you can't fix in the NFL is bad hands. Saints ball.
The Raiders appear to stop the Saints at midfield, but Payton is GOING FOR IT AGAIN on 4th-and-2. Is the coach Tom Cable punched out Payton's brother or something? Payton's behavior here isn't falling under any other category here than running the score up on purpose, and I'm flummoxed to explain it.
Why did it take until 8:25 in the third quarter to get us a sideline shot of the Raider Strippers, er, cheerleaders?
It's a PASS on 4th-and-2 and Brunell hits Harper for the first. Hamilton runs them down to the 25 before eventually limping off. P.J. Hill bounces off a half-hearted tackle attempt and sweeps left for an easy 5-yard TD. The Oakland fans are finally booing the team. Papa indicates that the Raiders still have many of their STARTERS out there. Holy cats.
New Orleans 38, Oakland 0.
Jeff Garcia gets to enter the game now for Oakland at QB. Still about 5:00 left in the 3rd. Raiders at the 20. I said I'd try to limit to describing big plays. Well, Louis Murphy just hung on to a pass. A dumpoff to Rankin only gets them to 4th-and-3 at midfield, where they go for it. Of course New Orleans blitzes, but Oakland burns them this time, AND MURPHY HANGS ON TO ANOTHER PASS, for 30. Lightning strikes twice! Troy Evans splatters Garcia on a scramble on the last play of the 3rd quarter.
End of third quarter: New Orleans 38, Oakland 0.
Garcia's nearly sacked again (BY HARGROVE) on third down. The Raiders pass up the Field Goal of Futility and go for it on 4th-and-12 at the 20. The Saints have Murphy double-covered in the corner of the end zone, though, and Garcia chucks the ball away.
There's always a chance, Oakland: the new Saint QB now is Joey Harrington. Hill pops outside with another long run out to midfield. The Saints go for it on 4th down again and hit a big pass to TE Buck Ortega. What is with Payton's Raider hating? Hill gets the rest of the game off and the Saints go to (Peaches and) Herb Donaldson, similar in build to Hill, at RB. Oakland mostly can't stop him, either. Oakland couldn't stop SAM Donaldson today. Donaldson gets 15 or so with a screen pass to get the Saints inside the red zone. On 4th-and-8 from the 11; of course, Payton's going for it, and Harrington hits Skyler Green on the fade in the left corner of the end zone.
Oh, the humanity!
New Orleans 45, Oakland 0.
Still 8:30 left of this fiasco. Good Nick Miller return gives Garcia the ball at the 42. Gary Russell at RB since the last drive. He runs them down to the Saint 40, and from there.......
OAKLAND SCORES!!!!!!
Garcia hit Jonathan Holland with a sideline pass and the Saint DB blew the tackle pitifully. Holland stopped and just ran around him and sped untouched the rest of the way.
New Orleans 45, Oakland 7.
6:06 left. Wonder how hard Payton will try to get that TD back. Harrington working from the 22. Hill's back and dodges about six tackles for another 25+ yard run. That's all, though, as Michael Hawkins DRILLS Hill on a short pass to force a 4th down.
And Payton's actually punting here, though the ball's near midfield. Raiders get it back at their 27 with 3:22 left. Big cutback run for Russell for 26. They bog down there, though, with a penalty and with the Saints still bringing corner blitzes with 2:50 left in a preseason blowout. The Saints are freaking playing for keeps, I'll say that much. Raiders end up turning it over on downs. Normally I'd assume the team with the lead is going to just run the clock out here, but...
Yeah, Payton finally takes his foot off the gas, and/or Oakland's throats. Well, they run again on 4th-and-6 instead of punting, and Hill converts it, but that's Oakland's own fault. Game finally and mercifully ends there.
Final score: New Orleans 45, Raiders 7.
MVP: Game ball was totally going to Brees until P.J. Hill had the huge second half. Yeah, what RB doesn't have a big game against Oakland, but with all the Saints' injuries at the position, Hill's 12 rushes for 83 yards and 2 TDs had to be a welcome development. Not to shortchange Hamilton, who had 16 rushes for 95 against a lot of Raider starters; the TDs win it for Hill.
What have we learned: We got official confirmation that ANYBODY can run on Oakland. The Raiders looked every bit as bad as Detroit did last week, and their defense is poised to be historically bad this season, even with Asomugha shutting down one corner. They can't pressure the passer, push the pocket, cover anybody (besides Asomugha), or even tackle that well. The Saints are SHARP, though a team shouldn't be encouraged to peak in August. That's going to be a massive passing attack if Meacham's stepping up to join Moore and Colston, who wasn't even used that much today. Not to forget Shockey. They didn't seem to miss T Jammal Brown (out with injury), but then again, they were playing Oakland. Still, the Saints-Falcons clashes in the NFC South this year figure to be epic.
Up next: Moving over to Chargers-Falcons on CBS in about 15 minutes.
John Tournour being a 43-year old man reporting from the sideline using a wacky radio morning zoo nickname is another good reason to root for the Saints today. It is reasonably awesome, however, that the Raider pregame show regales us with a feature called "Weinerschnitzel Winning Ways". #1 today: stop the run. Gee, you think so, after the Whiners ran for about 1,000 yards last week?
The Raiders' webpage IS STILL LOADING so I have to pause again for kickoff. Thank God I have the option to read their page in TAGALOG, though. Might as well go track down soda #16 of this year's challenge while I wait for the Library of Freaking Raider Congress.com to come up.
Sebastian Janikowski blasts the opening kickoff about 80 yards to start us off. End-around to Devery Henderson for 5. Starting Saint backfield of Drew Brees and Mike Bell, with Reggie Bush and Pierre Thomas both out injured. No surprise on that first one. Brees to Jeremy Shockey for 21. Former Rams washout Jon Alston starting at OLB today for Oakland. Short over the middle to Lance Moore for 9. Heh, didn't the Weinerschnitzel Winning Ways say the Raiders need to stop the run? Do the Saints have to run? Bell slips and falls but gets the first down at the Raider 44. Play action (as if) pass to Moore for 7. Brees to Shockey running free up the middle for 21-22 more. Bell gets them inside the 10. 2nd-4 from the 9. 4.9 more off right tackle. 3rd down at the 4. Bell should have the first down on the leap. Good stop by the Raiders, but he needed to gain almost nothing. Yep, 1st-goal. Heath Evans gets stuck behind the line but bounces left and through for the TD.
New Orleans 7, Oakland 0.
Well, that was quick. The Saints took less time to drive 80 yards than it took for the Raiders' website to load.
Jamarcus Russell and I think Michael Bush lead Oakland from their 25. Quick slant to Darius Heyward-Bey for 12. TE Zach Miller's all alone in the Saint secondary for 35 more. Roman Harper comes in on a blitz, though, and tomahawks the ball out of Russell's hand from the blindside, and Jonathan Vilma recovers the loose ball for a turnover. Bend, don't break, eh.
Well, that was quick. The Raiders turned the ball over much quicker than it takes for their website to load.
Fake-pitch left, screen right to Shockey for a few. Quick slant to Moore, who spins out of Chris Johnson's (yes, he who started the 2005 Rams season stepping out of bounds at the 1 with a kick return) tackle for a first down at the 45. The Raiders extend them to 3rd-and-6 at midfield, but the Saints screen to Bell into a blitz and gain 10. Lynell Hamilton, who I think played center for the Flyin' Illini in the 80s, over left tackle for 1. Nnamdi Asomugha knocks a pass away from Moore. But on 3rd and 9, Brees gets forever to throw against a Raider 4-man rush, and hits Henderson WIDE OPEN against Hiram Eugene for a 40-yard TD.
New Orleans 14, Oakland 0.
Well, that was quick. The Saints were up two TDs quicker than it takes for the Raiders' website to load.
I'll also say this. Before you experts out there doom the Rams to the first overall draft pick in 2010, I have to say they look markedly better than the Lions and Bengals, and they're a damn sight better on defense than the Raiders. Now, the Raiders may have the weapons to win a lot of games 39-38, but they're going to need that to have any chance at .500 in 2009. This defense is atrocious.
Oakland'll start at their 22 next, which is pretty much where they stop. Russell goes deep for DHB on 3rd down but is nearly picked off by Usama Young at the sideline.
Well, that was quick. The Raiders went 3-and-out far faster than it takes for their website to load.
Back to the Saints, at their 21. Desmond Bryant gets to Brees for a sack. Poor blitz pickups by Evans and Hamilton. That was Lowell Hamilton who played for the Illini, btw. Because it's the Raiders, the Saints get their 17 yards back on 2 runs. The Raiders get them to 3rd-and-10, but Brees finds Henderson in front of Michael Huff for about 15 at the Raider 35. A couple more completions get New Orleans a first down inside the Raider 30.
Drew Brees threw for 158 yards in the first quarter.
End of first quarter: New Orleans 14, Oakland 0.
Saints start the 2nd quarter at the Raider 23. It was actually 2nd-and-short, which Hamilton converted around right end at the 20. Marques Colston gets his first look of the day and breaks inside the 5. Play action to Moore in the end zone, easy TD pass beating Tyvon Branch.
Well, that was quick - oh, never mind.
New Orleans 21, Oakland 0.
My fantasy league drafts Monday night. I pick 9th, wonderful. But I'm pretty sure my first-round pick will be "whoever's playing against Oakland".
Oakland will try again from their 23. Here we go! Darren McFadden explodes off right tackle for 22. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, holding, Oakland. 1st-20, they play-action to McFadden for 7ish. 6 more on a flare to Zach Miller. Do they chuck it deep on 3rd-and-7? No, Russell hits Louis Murphy over the middle, but Murphy loses the ball trying to tuck it away. The ruling is incomplete pass, which I tend to agree with. Either way, Murphy's maintaining his reputation for the drops from college. The Saints challenge but the play stands as called; punt away.
Saints at their 40. They could probably stick Guido Merkens at QB right now and score a TD. Well, same thing, Mark Brunell. Handoff to Lionel Hamilton - I know him now, he's the master of the vibraphone - for 3. Rollout left is incomplete as Stanford Routt has Robert Meacham blanketed. Hamilton drops a screen pass as the Raiders FINALLY gain a stop on defense.
And yes, that was Lionel Hampton playing vibraphone. Whattaya want for a 21-0 preseason game?
Russell makes a nice play to elude the rush, roll right and hit Murphy at midfield on 2nd-and-7, but the Saint DB strips it free before Murphy can put it away. Huge rush by Will Smith on that play, who absolutely whipped the Raider LT. Bad pass for Johnnie Lee Higgins on 3rd down and the Raiders are punting again.
Saints at about their 22. Routt breaks up a bomb for Meacham. Brunell steps up on 2nd down and hits Hamilton at the 34 for a first. Hamilton breaks a tackle after about 10 yards of a middle run and gains 10 more. From the Raider 48, Brunell underthrows a bomb for Moore but they get a blatant DPI on Routt. 1st down at the 17. I believe all fantasy football players should lobby the NFL to include DPI yardage as part of passing yards. Especially those of us who draft Drew Brees. More DPI on Routt sets the Saints up at the 8. The Saints go into classic preseason mode from there: two touchdown plays and a third pass that goes to Billy Miller inside the 5 are ALL called back due to Saint penalties totalling 20 yards. John Carney splits the uprights from 35.
New Orleans 24, Oakland 0.
Once again with feeling for Oakland from their 20. About 5:00 till halftime. Can't come soon enough. McFadden UNDRESSES Marvin Mitchell with a move on a screen pass and gains 10. Saints living dangerously with the blitz there. They call a fumble on the next play, a sweep left for McFadden, but I'm fairly sure he was down. If not, ANTHONY HARGROVE just made a play. That is reason alone to suspect the call on the field is wrong. Anthony Hargrove made a play?
Just thought I'd also mention Neck Lickey has seen action for the Saints today at center.
Um, I mean Nick Leckey. What do you want for a 24-0 preseason game?
Meanwhile, these Raiders look for all the world like the 2008 Rams.
ANTHONY HARGROVE MADE A PLAY! They don't overturn the fumble call, and Paul Spicer's return to the Raider 6-yard line stands. On 2nd-goal, Brunell rolls left and throws right to Hiram Eugene at the goal line, a mortifyingly stupid play. There wasn't a Saint receiver within a MILE of that pass! WTF kind of play is that for a 17-year veteran from Washington?
Wait a minute, was that Mark Brunell or Chris Chandler making that throw?
Eugene returned the pick back to the Raider 31. Oakland doesn't get it much farther than that. The Saints blitz on 3rd-and-4 and LB Troy Evans comes up the middle scot-free to sack Russell.
Again, if preseason means anything, the Raiders are going to be the 2008 Rams in 2009. I know teams can have bad records in preseason and go on to great seasons, and famously, the 0-16 Lions last year went 4-0 in preseason, but can a team really play as suckass as the Raiders have for three weeks and expect the regular season will be different?
Saints at their 23 after punts and re-punts and penalties, and viva preseason, whatever. Heartbreak Hill for this game hit about an hour ago and we're still climbing it. Robert Meacham makes that climb steeper and longer for Oakland fans and the rest of us saps watching this fiasco with a 71-yard catch-and-run. Routt missed a tackle BADLY after Meacham caught a short pass and the WR put on the jets from there. Chris Johnson gamely caught him at the 1-yard line at the 2:00 warning.
That's what the Saints drafted Meacham for a couple of years ago, btw. As if they needed any more weapons in the passing game. The Raiders stuff PJ Hill at the goal line on 1st down, but he leaps and twists in for the score with 1:21 left in the half.
New Orleans 31, 2008 St. Louis Rams 0.
Raiders play-by-play man Greg Papa now desperately trying to play down the significance of the third preseason game. Oakland has 1:15 to try to do something, anything, from their 31. Russell gets flushed right, has nobody open, get his arm hit on the throw, incomplete. And Robert Gallery held. 5 to Bush, with Russell nearly getting sacked again. 5 more to Zach Miller. 3rd-10ish.
THE SAINTS CALL TIMEOUT? I consider that a personal foul. 33 seconds left. The Saints whip the left side of the Raider line AGAIN with ANOTHER blitz and score ANOTHER sack of Russell. Jesus Freaking Christ, Oakland is bad today.
ANOTHER SAINT TIMEOUT? Did a bully in a Raiders shirt use to steal Sean Payton's lunch money when he was a kid? Rod Harper returns the kick across midfield, and the Saints throw two Big Ben passes. The Raiders don't get the first one knocked down, and Harper nearly makes a diving catch for it in the end zone. Chris Johnson intercepts the second one and returns it to midfield as the clock runs out, easily Oakland's most exciting play of the half.
Halftime score: New Orleans 31, Oakland 0.
For the first time this preseason, I am now in "screw this game" mode for a game. Expect fairly scanty details of the 2nd half, just hitting on any big stuff.
Halftime stats: First downs: Saints 19, Raiders 3.
Passing yards: Saints 252, Raiders 59.
Rushing yards: Saints 92, Raiders 1.
Time of possession: Saints 20:27, Raiders 9:33.
Well, at least the Raiders got their 6 penalties in.
Russell stays in, with Oakland at their 25. Zach Miller burns Troy Evans for 27. Rinse, wash, repeat for the Raiders from there. Russell remains under withering pressure from Bobby McCray and Saint blitzers destroying the Oakland LT. Higgins drops a third down pass to force a punt.
Brunell stays in for Nawlins, at the Saint 24. Bad 3-and-out possession for Rod Harper, who brutally drops a perfect Brunell pass near midfield and gets blanketed by Chris Johnson on 3rd. El punto.
After a pretty deep pass from Russell to Murphy at the 35 (pretty two-handed overhead catch, too), Murphy has the ball stripped away from him by Pierson Prieleau for yet another fumble. Looks like one thing you can't fix in the NFL is bad hands. Saints ball.
The Raiders appear to stop the Saints at midfield, but Payton is GOING FOR IT AGAIN on 4th-and-2. Is the coach Tom Cable punched out Payton's brother or something? Payton's behavior here isn't falling under any other category here than running the score up on purpose, and I'm flummoxed to explain it.
Why did it take until 8:25 in the third quarter to get us a sideline shot of the Raider Strippers, er, cheerleaders?
It's a PASS on 4th-and-2 and Brunell hits Harper for the first. Hamilton runs them down to the 25 before eventually limping off. P.J. Hill bounces off a half-hearted tackle attempt and sweeps left for an easy 5-yard TD. The Oakland fans are finally booing the team. Papa indicates that the Raiders still have many of their STARTERS out there. Holy cats.
New Orleans 38, Oakland 0.
Jeff Garcia gets to enter the game now for Oakland at QB. Still about 5:00 left in the 3rd. Raiders at the 20. I said I'd try to limit to describing big plays. Well, Louis Murphy just hung on to a pass. A dumpoff to Rankin only gets them to 4th-and-3 at midfield, where they go for it. Of course New Orleans blitzes, but Oakland burns them this time, AND MURPHY HANGS ON TO ANOTHER PASS, for 30. Lightning strikes twice! Troy Evans splatters Garcia on a scramble on the last play of the 3rd quarter.
End of third quarter: New Orleans 38, Oakland 0.
Garcia's nearly sacked again (BY HARGROVE) on third down. The Raiders pass up the Field Goal of Futility and go for it on 4th-and-12 at the 20. The Saints have Murphy double-covered in the corner of the end zone, though, and Garcia chucks the ball away.
There's always a chance, Oakland: the new Saint QB now is Joey Harrington. Hill pops outside with another long run out to midfield. The Saints go for it on 4th down again and hit a big pass to TE Buck Ortega. What is with Payton's Raider hating? Hill gets the rest of the game off and the Saints go to (Peaches and) Herb Donaldson, similar in build to Hill, at RB. Oakland mostly can't stop him, either. Oakland couldn't stop SAM Donaldson today. Donaldson gets 15 or so with a screen pass to get the Saints inside the red zone. On 4th-and-8 from the 11; of course, Payton's going for it, and Harrington hits Skyler Green on the fade in the left corner of the end zone.
Oh, the humanity!
New Orleans 45, Oakland 0.
Still 8:30 left of this fiasco. Good Nick Miller return gives Garcia the ball at the 42. Gary Russell at RB since the last drive. He runs them down to the Saint 40, and from there.......
OAKLAND SCORES!!!!!!
Garcia hit Jonathan Holland with a sideline pass and the Saint DB blew the tackle pitifully. Holland stopped and just ran around him and sped untouched the rest of the way.
New Orleans 45, Oakland 7.
6:06 left. Wonder how hard Payton will try to get that TD back. Harrington working from the 22. Hill's back and dodges about six tackles for another 25+ yard run. That's all, though, as Michael Hawkins DRILLS Hill on a short pass to force a 4th down.
And Payton's actually punting here, though the ball's near midfield. Raiders get it back at their 27 with 3:22 left. Big cutback run for Russell for 26. They bog down there, though, with a penalty and with the Saints still bringing corner blitzes with 2:50 left in a preseason blowout. The Saints are freaking playing for keeps, I'll say that much. Raiders end up turning it over on downs. Normally I'd assume the team with the lead is going to just run the clock out here, but...
Yeah, Payton finally takes his foot off the gas, and/or Oakland's throats. Well, they run again on 4th-and-6 instead of punting, and Hill converts it, but that's Oakland's own fault. Game finally and mercifully ends there.
Final score: New Orleans 45, Raiders 7.
MVP: Game ball was totally going to Brees until P.J. Hill had the huge second half. Yeah, what RB doesn't have a big game against Oakland, but with all the Saints' injuries at the position, Hill's 12 rushes for 83 yards and 2 TDs had to be a welcome development. Not to shortchange Hamilton, who had 16 rushes for 95 against a lot of Raider starters; the TDs win it for Hill.
What have we learned: We got official confirmation that ANYBODY can run on Oakland. The Raiders looked every bit as bad as Detroit did last week, and their defense is poised to be historically bad this season, even with Asomugha shutting down one corner. They can't pressure the passer, push the pocket, cover anybody (besides Asomugha), or even tackle that well. The Saints are SHARP, though a team shouldn't be encouraged to peak in August. That's going to be a massive passing attack if Meacham's stepping up to join Moore and Colston, who wasn't even used that much today. Not to forget Shockey. They didn't seem to miss T Jammal Brown (out with injury), but then again, they were playing Oakland. Still, the Saints-Falcons clashes in the NFC South this year figure to be epic.
Up next: Moving over to Chargers-Falcons on CBS in about 15 minutes.
Game 35: Lions 18, Colts 17
Getting ready now for the first game of a Saturday tripleheader with Indianapolis visiting Detroit. It'll be my first look at the Colts this preseason as I continue my trend of watching half the games of a given week. If the Lions play like they did in Cleveland last week, Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne will be able to beat them 2-on-11.
Kicks not being defended by the Rams continue to be as boring as hell so they're mostly getting left out of my recaps. Daunte Culpepper starts for Detroit after Matthew Stafford's awful start last week. From their 20, Kevin Smith bounces a run outside left for 9. Pass in the flat to Smith for 4 more, and Smith up the middle for a couple and 2nd-and-8. Melvin Bullitt (not played by Steve McQueen) blitzes in and blows up a draw play. 3rd-and-9, the Colts let Scott Linehan get away with a screen pass, Smith's fifth straight touch, for 9 and a first. Culpepper just overthrows Brandon Pettigrew open on a corner route. Daniel Muir drops Calvin Pearson for a large loss. He and I think John Gill really crushed the pocket there. But on 3rd down, Culpepper steps out of the pocket and dumps off to Smith, who gets free for about 20. Gosder Cherilus is called for a blow to the head the next play, which puts Detroit at 1st-25 from their own 45. Draw, incomplete screen and 11-yard pass to Calvin Johnson in his first preseason action send in the punting team.
NFL.com's rosters are STILL not up-to-date, by the way. Who's getting paid over there to NOT keep the team roster pages up to date? I mean, shit, take an hour every day and at least compare what you have to what the team websites have - can it really be that hard?
That was Josh Thomas making the play earlier, not John Gill. I had to go to the Colts website to find that out. NFL.com doesn't have numbers for like a quarter of the Colts roster. I'll just have to use the team websites from now on, though they tend to be resource hogs and don't play well with my old-fashioned dial-up connection.
Back in the 21st century, Peyton Manning starts the Colts from their 20 with an 11-yard pass to Anthony Gonzalez. Joseph Addai starts at RB, finds no room around left end for a loss. Screen to Gijon Robinson for 7. Pass to Dallas Clark on a shallow cross is good for 11 more. Clark eludes two tackles after a short catch the next play for 10 more. Detroit appears to have benched their starting secondary from last week, which is probably for the best. Just when I say that, William James commits brutal DPI on Gonzalez at the 6. Get your head turned, feller. Easy TD from Peyton to Clark next on a post pattern, and Indy is unsurprisingly ahead. If I were ever tempted to bet a preseason game, this might be the one.
Indianapolis 7, Detroit 0.
Smith gets a HUGE hole on the left side and gets 24 up the sideline to the Colt 47. Josh Thomas way overpursued at RDE and it was all downhill from there. Culpepper tries Calvin Johnson deep but Tim Jennings has the play blanketed. Defensive holding moves Detroit up to the 40. Culpepper throws downfield well over Casey Fitzsimmons' head for an incomplete. Play-action doesn't fool the Colts on 2nd down, but Culpepper dances his way free and hits Calvin for 13. Draw to Maurice Morris for 5. Getting PLENTY of time, Culpepper hits FB Jerome Felton on the sideline down to the 12. Huh, a Linehan offense using the fullback. Smith jukes about 8 times to gain 3 yards, then drives up the middle for a first-and-goal at the 2. Oh, those Lions. False start makes it 1st-goal at the 7. Indy pressures Culpepper into a throwaway. Smith works down to the 3, where it'll be third-and-goal when the second quarter starts.
End of first quarter: Indianapolis 7, Detroit 0.
Culpepper gets forever to throw before finding Bryant Johnson for a short TD. All Bryant had to do was run a curl into the end zone and wait for the Colt zone to uncover him. Football can be really easy some days. Colts paid that drive for failure to get to the QB.
Indianapolis 7, Detroit 7.
Colts' turn at their 20. After Addai gains only one, Clark slips a poor tackle by Louis Delmas, drafted by Detroit for his tackling, and gets up the sideline for 8. Reggie Wayne's first catch, a quick slant, is good for 5 and a first. Cutback run by Addai for 4-5. Larry Foote stuffs him off right tackle, and it's 3rd-and-5. Lions should bring the house here, and do. Manning has to play dead to avoid a big hit from Julian Peterson coming at him untouched.
Derrick Williams tries to fumble the punt back to Indy but one of his blockers recovers. Stafford, who I'm just now noticing looks surprisingly small compared to Culpepper, takes over at QB. Looks like he's giving up a lot more than 2 inches and 20 pounds to me. After a penalty Stafford fires a beautiful 3rd-and-9 laser to Calvin for 37 yards. Colts gave him ALL day to throw. Colts announcer interestingly pronounces Aveion Cason's name with emphasis on the last syllable, like he's French or something. After Cason gains deux, Stafford fires to Pettigrew at the Colt 30 for another first. Smoke to Calvin, who weaves through a couple of different missed tackles for 9. If the Colts are going to make Detroit look this good after last week, I'm really worried about their defense. Felton plows down to the 15 for another first down. Linehan had a fullback on the field in a short yardage situation? Morris cuts back right for 5 more. Colts aren't stopping the pass or the run. Morris jitterbugs down to the 6. Should be 3rd-and-1.
Stafford calls timeout, giving me time to mention that Goodwill is one of the sponsors for the Colts today. If business is so good for Goodwill in this economy that they can afford to advertise during football games, maybe the young MBAs of tomorrow had better be studying their business plan.
Felton plunges up the middle and apparently gets the first down. 1st-goal outside the 4. Felton again off left tackle for 2. Linehan had a fullback blocking for the fullback that play. That's two more fullbacks than he had on the Rams roster last year. Stafford overthrows a fade route for Calvin, who can't keep either foot in bounds. 3rd-goal at the 2. The Colts blitz Stafford big, and he barely gets a throw off with Marcus Johnson dragging him down, and Calvin nearly makes what would have been an amazing athletic grab. Apparently broadcasting their firs preseason game ever, the Colt announcers can't figure out the home crowd is booing because they want to go for it on 4th down. Jim Schwartz takes a page from Steve Spagnuolo's playbook and kicks the 2-yard FG instead.
Detroit 10, Indianapolis 7.
These are the Detroit Lions; they take a lead and then K Billy Cundiff boots the kickoff out of bounds. The Lions wish Cundiff well in his future endeavors. Peyton from the Colt 40, and we're already down to 3:19 until halftime. Donald Brown enters at tailback and does about as well as Addai, no gain off right tackle. 4 to Gonzalez over the middle. The Lions blitz Manning - always a bad idea, and he hits Gonzalez up the sideline with a perfect pass for about 35. Except it goes right through Gonzalez's hands. Punt bounces out of bounds at the five as we hit the 2:00 (actually 1:50) warning.
Colts try to help Detroit out with an offsides, but Linehan just calls the same draw play as the one the penalty called back. The Colts, not content with the happily blazing pace this half has moved at, then start calling defensive timeouts. Another draw; Aaron Brown bounces outside and out to the 19. They finally pass now, for a whole two yards to Fitzsimmons. Just think what Joe Klopfenstein would look like in this dynamic Lions offense. Chances are he'll get his shot. Colts blitz and blow up a screen pass. 3rd-11 at the 18, and Stafford hits Pettigrew over the middle for 14. 43 seconds left. These last two minutes may take longer to play than the 28 before them. Ron Winter and crew take forever to get a tripping penalty called on Steven (J.) Peterman, his second penalty of the half. Moves Detroit back to the 23, but then Aaron Brown sizzles off right tackle for a big gain - 17. Stafford hits John Standeford at the 46 for a first down. Hey, Linehan, get Dane Looker in there! Detroit uses their last timeout with 0:23 left. Stafford flicks a deep pass for Bryant Johnson at the 10 but Jerraud Powers jumps in and picks it off even though he's giving up 4 inches and 20 pounds. Detroit scoring threat over as Stafford probably put too much air under that pass.
Halftime score: Detroit 10, Indianapolis 7.
Colts have a whole two yards rushing at halftime. Colts color man IDIOTICALLY says "you cannot rely on Peyton Manning's arm to win this football game." The HELL you can't. Maybe he means Jim Sorgi's coming in? No, it's Peyton to start the second half, with a rollout screen to Addai for a big gain out to the 35. Huge hole for Addai to take a draw over the right side for 11. Dumpoff under pressure incomplete. They had the TE Robinson trying to block DE Jason Hunter. I HATE those schemes. Block a lineman with a lineman! William James breaks up a short hitch to Robinson. 3rd-10. The Lions rush 4, but Peyton steps up and hits Austin Collie, who has to run out of a first down to come back for the pass. 4th-inches, the Colts go for it, and Addai gets it up the middle down to the Lion 42. He's making people miss here after halftime. Play-action, and Clark is all alone down to the 19. Addai weaves around left end with a draw for 5. Short pass to Clark down to the 7. Clark has plenty of YAC today. Brown down to the 2 as the Colt RBs are finding plenty of running room now. Brown bounces off a hit at the 2 and spins into the end zone. Good thing the Colts could run and rely less on that awful Peyton Manning, huh.
Indianapolis 14, Detroit 10.
Nice block by Clark on the edge on that TD run. Lions begin at their 20. Aaron Brown pops through a hole on the right side for 12. Who had a good chip block there to set that up? MILFORD BROWN. That might have been the first good block of his career. Aaron drops a screen pass from Stafford. Smoke to Keary Colbert is good for 7. I'm just impressed he actually caught a ball. 3rd-3. What looks like a broken play comes at the absolute worst time for Detroit, as two Colts blitz in untouched, including Marcus Howard AGAIN, dropping him for a huge loss. Punting time.
CURTIS PAINTER takes the brush now for Indy at QB. Whither Sorgi? They'll work 1st-19 from their 10 after a penalty. Painter gets hit on 2nd-and-long but throws while he's flying to the ground, hitting Tom Santi for a first down. 21 yards on the play. Donald Brown around the left side for 8. Colts blocking is a lot better this half. About 8 to Jacob Tamme to the 48 for another first down. Painter rolls out of pressure and throws the next pass away. I wanted to draft Painter for the Rams, btw. Chad Simpson bowls his way off right tackle and breaks about 3 tackles for a 9-yard gain. Colts timeout with 3:35 of one of the fastest-moving preseason games I can remember. The Colts can't get Simpson around left end, though, on 3rd-and-1. Aren't you NOT supposed to run outside on 3rd-and-short? DeAndre Levy shoots through and drops him for a loss. Hey, there's Looker, in his defined role as near-goal-line punt returner, with a fair catch at the 10.
Indy blitzes Aaron Brown into a 1-yard loss, but Stafford hits Adam Jennings on an out route at the 20 for a first down. Sweet throw. Stafford takes advantage of the free play on an offsides call by gunning to Derrick Williams for 40. Serious arm power by Stafford there. Ball at the Colts 40. Drop by Jennings at the 20. I don't think that would have been a terribly tough catch. WHERE'S LOOKER? Short out to Williams leaves 3rd-and-short, which they convert with another short pass to Williams, who appears to do a retarded and showy celebration after every single catch he makes. Jim Schwartz needs to pull the plug on that, and why isn't that a penalty when bowing to your fans in the end zone after a TD is? Brown gets a huge hole off the left side with a draw play but Nick Graham makes a nice play to shut him down in the open field for just 5. That play had TD written all over it. The 3rd quarter's already over!
End of third quarter: Indianapolis 14, Detroit 10.
Both teams have really been able to sustain drives today. Let's see what Detroit does now with 3rd-and-5 at the Colts 20. THERE'S LOOKER, who the Colts announcer describes as a tight end, at the 9 to make it first and goal. VINTAGE LOOKER! Felton plows through the right side for 5. It takes three Colts to bring him down again at the 1. On 3rd-goal, Felton gets tripped up in the backfield for no gain. Lions going for it on 4th down. Steve Spagnuolo must think those Lions are crazy.
Spags is right. The Colts penetrate the backfield and shut Felton down again, before he can even get to the 1. The announcers credit LB Mike (All I's On Me) Tauiliili on both plays.
Colts will start from there, the 1-yard line, with LANCE BALL now at RB. Ball barely makes it back to the 1 on first down. Play-action pass to Pierre Garcon gets them out to the 20. No pressure on Painter at all and he made a nice throw. They recover from a false start with an 11-yard fetch by Collie and burning a 3rd-and-4 blitz BADLY, for 67, as Garcon got behind the safety, Painter spotted him with a nice pass and he went off to the races. They don't cash in on that, though. A hold on Eric Foster took away a Ball TD, and Darnell Bing knocked the 3rd-down pass away from Tamme at the goal line. The FG is accordingly settled for.
Indianapolis 17, Detroit 10.
Drew Stanton tasked here with pulling Detroit even with 7:26 left. Bomb for Colbert is a little long and incomplete. Inside handoff to Aaron Brown for a couple. 3rd-8 from the 26. Stanton gets hammered by a blitzer and his sideline throw is way off. I'm pretty sure that was the first 3-and-out by either team today.
Colts get a chance to eat up some clock now from their 26. Play action screen to Jamie Petrowski is good for 4. But John Matthews appears to take his eye off a quick slant pass and it bounces off his shoulder and high into the air for Marquand Manuel to intercept. Pretty sure that was the first turnover of the game, coming at an AWFUL time as it gives the Lions a chance to tie the game late (though Schwartz BETTER be going for two if they score).
Stanton to Williams on a quick slant for 8, down to the Colts 35. 5:00 left to play. Play action to Standeford for 13 more. Great play fake by Stanton, and a super throw, zinged to Dan Gronkowski at the goal line. He bangs through three Colts for the TD.
And Detroit does go for two, their legal obligation for preseason. Stanton is dealing, too, FIRING to Standeford at the back of the end zone to put the Honolulu blue and silver ahead with 4:13 left.
Detroit 18, Indianapolis 17.
Colts will attempt to answer from their 23. Matthews drops a pass on 2nd down and pressure forces a Painter pass into the dirt on 3rd down, forcing a punt. The Colts wish Matthews luck in his future endeavors.
3:19 left for the Lions at their 38. Do they even know how to run out a game with the lead? I mean, they were 0-16 last year, Linehan's 5-27 the last two years, they're probably throwing deep here! The Colts stuff two runs, as Tauiliili and Jamie Silva have had good games for them there, but Stanton hits Colbert near midfield for a first down and Tristan Davis gallops 11 more down to the Colt 37. That essentially wins it, as the Colts are out of timeouts and have to let the clock run down to 2:00.
Linehan freaking idiotically calls for a ROLLOUT PASS next, but it runs right into a Tyjuan Hagler blitz for a huge loss. WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING RUNNING?!? The Lions finally do work the clock down to 0:27 before punting. The Colts announcer, who is possibly drunk, thinks the Lions are going to kneel on it in punting formation.
After the touchback, Indy gets 19 seconds to score. PUT IN THE STARTERS! Remember after the Colts' easy first TD, when I said this might be the one time I'd ever be tempted to bet on a preseason game? Never gamble on sports, kids. Orion Martin sacks Painter to end the game.
MVP: Drew Stanton (4-6-56) was sharp and led the Lions to the winning TD / two-point conversion.
What did we learn: There's better backup QB play around the NFL than many reckoned on. Stanton and Painter looked very good for their respective teams today. Stafford made a good recovery from his awful night in Cleveland, but I still think Culpepper's the starter there for now. The inability of the Colts' starting defense to stop a Scott Linehan offense is really bothersome, though. The Lion running game gashed them a lot. They look like they're in the same boat they were in last year.
Up next: Straight over now to Raiders at Saints.
Kicks not being defended by the Rams continue to be as boring as hell so they're mostly getting left out of my recaps. Daunte Culpepper starts for Detroit after Matthew Stafford's awful start last week. From their 20, Kevin Smith bounces a run outside left for 9. Pass in the flat to Smith for 4 more, and Smith up the middle for a couple and 2nd-and-8. Melvin Bullitt (not played by Steve McQueen) blitzes in and blows up a draw play. 3rd-and-9, the Colts let Scott Linehan get away with a screen pass, Smith's fifth straight touch, for 9 and a first. Culpepper just overthrows Brandon Pettigrew open on a corner route. Daniel Muir drops Calvin Pearson for a large loss. He and I think John Gill really crushed the pocket there. But on 3rd down, Culpepper steps out of the pocket and dumps off to Smith, who gets free for about 20. Gosder Cherilus is called for a blow to the head the next play, which puts Detroit at 1st-25 from their own 45. Draw, incomplete screen and 11-yard pass to Calvin Johnson in his first preseason action send in the punting team.
NFL.com's rosters are STILL not up-to-date, by the way. Who's getting paid over there to NOT keep the team roster pages up to date? I mean, shit, take an hour every day and at least compare what you have to what the team websites have - can it really be that hard?
That was Josh Thomas making the play earlier, not John Gill. I had to go to the Colts website to find that out. NFL.com doesn't have numbers for like a quarter of the Colts roster. I'll just have to use the team websites from now on, though they tend to be resource hogs and don't play well with my old-fashioned dial-up connection.
Back in the 21st century, Peyton Manning starts the Colts from their 20 with an 11-yard pass to Anthony Gonzalez. Joseph Addai starts at RB, finds no room around left end for a loss. Screen to Gijon Robinson for 7. Pass to Dallas Clark on a shallow cross is good for 11 more. Clark eludes two tackles after a short catch the next play for 10 more. Detroit appears to have benched their starting secondary from last week, which is probably for the best. Just when I say that, William James commits brutal DPI on Gonzalez at the 6. Get your head turned, feller. Easy TD from Peyton to Clark next on a post pattern, and Indy is unsurprisingly ahead. If I were ever tempted to bet a preseason game, this might be the one.
Indianapolis 7, Detroit 0.
Smith gets a HUGE hole on the left side and gets 24 up the sideline to the Colt 47. Josh Thomas way overpursued at RDE and it was all downhill from there. Culpepper tries Calvin Johnson deep but Tim Jennings has the play blanketed. Defensive holding moves Detroit up to the 40. Culpepper throws downfield well over Casey Fitzsimmons' head for an incomplete. Play-action doesn't fool the Colts on 2nd down, but Culpepper dances his way free and hits Calvin for 13. Draw to Maurice Morris for 5. Getting PLENTY of time, Culpepper hits FB Jerome Felton on the sideline down to the 12. Huh, a Linehan offense using the fullback. Smith jukes about 8 times to gain 3 yards, then drives up the middle for a first-and-goal at the 2. Oh, those Lions. False start makes it 1st-goal at the 7. Indy pressures Culpepper into a throwaway. Smith works down to the 3, where it'll be third-and-goal when the second quarter starts.
End of first quarter: Indianapolis 7, Detroit 0.
Culpepper gets forever to throw before finding Bryant Johnson for a short TD. All Bryant had to do was run a curl into the end zone and wait for the Colt zone to uncover him. Football can be really easy some days. Colts paid that drive for failure to get to the QB.
Indianapolis 7, Detroit 7.
Colts' turn at their 20. After Addai gains only one, Clark slips a poor tackle by Louis Delmas, drafted by Detroit for his tackling, and gets up the sideline for 8. Reggie Wayne's first catch, a quick slant, is good for 5 and a first. Cutback run by Addai for 4-5. Larry Foote stuffs him off right tackle, and it's 3rd-and-5. Lions should bring the house here, and do. Manning has to play dead to avoid a big hit from Julian Peterson coming at him untouched.
Derrick Williams tries to fumble the punt back to Indy but one of his blockers recovers. Stafford, who I'm just now noticing looks surprisingly small compared to Culpepper, takes over at QB. Looks like he's giving up a lot more than 2 inches and 20 pounds to me. After a penalty Stafford fires a beautiful 3rd-and-9 laser to Calvin for 37 yards. Colts gave him ALL day to throw. Colts announcer interestingly pronounces Aveion Cason's name with emphasis on the last syllable, like he's French or something. After Cason gains deux, Stafford fires to Pettigrew at the Colt 30 for another first. Smoke to Calvin, who weaves through a couple of different missed tackles for 9. If the Colts are going to make Detroit look this good after last week, I'm really worried about their defense. Felton plows down to the 15 for another first down. Linehan had a fullback on the field in a short yardage situation? Morris cuts back right for 5 more. Colts aren't stopping the pass or the run. Morris jitterbugs down to the 6. Should be 3rd-and-1.
Stafford calls timeout, giving me time to mention that Goodwill is one of the sponsors for the Colts today. If business is so good for Goodwill in this economy that they can afford to advertise during football games, maybe the young MBAs of tomorrow had better be studying their business plan.
Felton plunges up the middle and apparently gets the first down. 1st-goal outside the 4. Felton again off left tackle for 2. Linehan had a fullback blocking for the fullback that play. That's two more fullbacks than he had on the Rams roster last year. Stafford overthrows a fade route for Calvin, who can't keep either foot in bounds. 3rd-goal at the 2. The Colts blitz Stafford big, and he barely gets a throw off with Marcus Johnson dragging him down, and Calvin nearly makes what would have been an amazing athletic grab. Apparently broadcasting their firs preseason game ever, the Colt announcers can't figure out the home crowd is booing because they want to go for it on 4th down. Jim Schwartz takes a page from Steve Spagnuolo's playbook and kicks the 2-yard FG instead.
Detroit 10, Indianapolis 7.
These are the Detroit Lions; they take a lead and then K Billy Cundiff boots the kickoff out of bounds. The Lions wish Cundiff well in his future endeavors. Peyton from the Colt 40, and we're already down to 3:19 until halftime. Donald Brown enters at tailback and does about as well as Addai, no gain off right tackle. 4 to Gonzalez over the middle. The Lions blitz Manning - always a bad idea, and he hits Gonzalez up the sideline with a perfect pass for about 35. Except it goes right through Gonzalez's hands. Punt bounces out of bounds at the five as we hit the 2:00 (actually 1:50) warning.
Colts try to help Detroit out with an offsides, but Linehan just calls the same draw play as the one the penalty called back. The Colts, not content with the happily blazing pace this half has moved at, then start calling defensive timeouts. Another draw; Aaron Brown bounces outside and out to the 19. They finally pass now, for a whole two yards to Fitzsimmons. Just think what Joe Klopfenstein would look like in this dynamic Lions offense. Chances are he'll get his shot. Colts blitz and blow up a screen pass. 3rd-11 at the 18, and Stafford hits Pettigrew over the middle for 14. 43 seconds left. These last two minutes may take longer to play than the 28 before them. Ron Winter and crew take forever to get a tripping penalty called on Steven (J.) Peterman, his second penalty of the half. Moves Detroit back to the 23, but then Aaron Brown sizzles off right tackle for a big gain - 17. Stafford hits John Standeford at the 46 for a first down. Hey, Linehan, get Dane Looker in there! Detroit uses their last timeout with 0:23 left. Stafford flicks a deep pass for Bryant Johnson at the 10 but Jerraud Powers jumps in and picks it off even though he's giving up 4 inches and 20 pounds. Detroit scoring threat over as Stafford probably put too much air under that pass.
Halftime score: Detroit 10, Indianapolis 7.
Colts have a whole two yards rushing at halftime. Colts color man IDIOTICALLY says "you cannot rely on Peyton Manning's arm to win this football game." The HELL you can't. Maybe he means Jim Sorgi's coming in? No, it's Peyton to start the second half, with a rollout screen to Addai for a big gain out to the 35. Huge hole for Addai to take a draw over the right side for 11. Dumpoff under pressure incomplete. They had the TE Robinson trying to block DE Jason Hunter. I HATE those schemes. Block a lineman with a lineman! William James breaks up a short hitch to Robinson. 3rd-10. The Lions rush 4, but Peyton steps up and hits Austin Collie, who has to run out of a first down to come back for the pass. 4th-inches, the Colts go for it, and Addai gets it up the middle down to the Lion 42. He's making people miss here after halftime. Play-action, and Clark is all alone down to the 19. Addai weaves around left end with a draw for 5. Short pass to Clark down to the 7. Clark has plenty of YAC today. Brown down to the 2 as the Colt RBs are finding plenty of running room now. Brown bounces off a hit at the 2 and spins into the end zone. Good thing the Colts could run and rely less on that awful Peyton Manning, huh.
Indianapolis 14, Detroit 10.
Nice block by Clark on the edge on that TD run. Lions begin at their 20. Aaron Brown pops through a hole on the right side for 12. Who had a good chip block there to set that up? MILFORD BROWN. That might have been the first good block of his career. Aaron drops a screen pass from Stafford. Smoke to Keary Colbert is good for 7. I'm just impressed he actually caught a ball. 3rd-3. What looks like a broken play comes at the absolute worst time for Detroit, as two Colts blitz in untouched, including Marcus Howard AGAIN, dropping him for a huge loss. Punting time.
CURTIS PAINTER takes the brush now for Indy at QB. Whither Sorgi? They'll work 1st-19 from their 10 after a penalty. Painter gets hit on 2nd-and-long but throws while he's flying to the ground, hitting Tom Santi for a first down. 21 yards on the play. Donald Brown around the left side for 8. Colts blocking is a lot better this half. About 8 to Jacob Tamme to the 48 for another first down. Painter rolls out of pressure and throws the next pass away. I wanted to draft Painter for the Rams, btw. Chad Simpson bowls his way off right tackle and breaks about 3 tackles for a 9-yard gain. Colts timeout with 3:35 of one of the fastest-moving preseason games I can remember. The Colts can't get Simpson around left end, though, on 3rd-and-1. Aren't you NOT supposed to run outside on 3rd-and-short? DeAndre Levy shoots through and drops him for a loss. Hey, there's Looker, in his defined role as near-goal-line punt returner, with a fair catch at the 10.
Indy blitzes Aaron Brown into a 1-yard loss, but Stafford hits Adam Jennings on an out route at the 20 for a first down. Sweet throw. Stafford takes advantage of the free play on an offsides call by gunning to Derrick Williams for 40. Serious arm power by Stafford there. Ball at the Colts 40. Drop by Jennings at the 20. I don't think that would have been a terribly tough catch. WHERE'S LOOKER? Short out to Williams leaves 3rd-and-short, which they convert with another short pass to Williams, who appears to do a retarded and showy celebration after every single catch he makes. Jim Schwartz needs to pull the plug on that, and why isn't that a penalty when bowing to your fans in the end zone after a TD is? Brown gets a huge hole off the left side with a draw play but Nick Graham makes a nice play to shut him down in the open field for just 5. That play had TD written all over it. The 3rd quarter's already over!
End of third quarter: Indianapolis 14, Detroit 10.
Both teams have really been able to sustain drives today. Let's see what Detroit does now with 3rd-and-5 at the Colts 20. THERE'S LOOKER, who the Colts announcer describes as a tight end, at the 9 to make it first and goal. VINTAGE LOOKER! Felton plows through the right side for 5. It takes three Colts to bring him down again at the 1. On 3rd-goal, Felton gets tripped up in the backfield for no gain. Lions going for it on 4th down. Steve Spagnuolo must think those Lions are crazy.
Spags is right. The Colts penetrate the backfield and shut Felton down again, before he can even get to the 1. The announcers credit LB Mike (All I's On Me) Tauiliili on both plays.
Colts will start from there, the 1-yard line, with LANCE BALL now at RB. Ball barely makes it back to the 1 on first down. Play-action pass to Pierre Garcon gets them out to the 20. No pressure on Painter at all and he made a nice throw. They recover from a false start with an 11-yard fetch by Collie and burning a 3rd-and-4 blitz BADLY, for 67, as Garcon got behind the safety, Painter spotted him with a nice pass and he went off to the races. They don't cash in on that, though. A hold on Eric Foster took away a Ball TD, and Darnell Bing knocked the 3rd-down pass away from Tamme at the goal line. The FG is accordingly settled for.
Indianapolis 17, Detroit 10.
Drew Stanton tasked here with pulling Detroit even with 7:26 left. Bomb for Colbert is a little long and incomplete. Inside handoff to Aaron Brown for a couple. 3rd-8 from the 26. Stanton gets hammered by a blitzer and his sideline throw is way off. I'm pretty sure that was the first 3-and-out by either team today.
Colts get a chance to eat up some clock now from their 26. Play action screen to Jamie Petrowski is good for 4. But John Matthews appears to take his eye off a quick slant pass and it bounces off his shoulder and high into the air for Marquand Manuel to intercept. Pretty sure that was the first turnover of the game, coming at an AWFUL time as it gives the Lions a chance to tie the game late (though Schwartz BETTER be going for two if they score).
Stanton to Williams on a quick slant for 8, down to the Colts 35. 5:00 left to play. Play action to Standeford for 13 more. Great play fake by Stanton, and a super throw, zinged to Dan Gronkowski at the goal line. He bangs through three Colts for the TD.
And Detroit does go for two, their legal obligation for preseason. Stanton is dealing, too, FIRING to Standeford at the back of the end zone to put the Honolulu blue and silver ahead with 4:13 left.
Detroit 18, Indianapolis 17.
Colts will attempt to answer from their 23. Matthews drops a pass on 2nd down and pressure forces a Painter pass into the dirt on 3rd down, forcing a punt. The Colts wish Matthews luck in his future endeavors.
3:19 left for the Lions at their 38. Do they even know how to run out a game with the lead? I mean, they were 0-16 last year, Linehan's 5-27 the last two years, they're probably throwing deep here! The Colts stuff two runs, as Tauiliili and Jamie Silva have had good games for them there, but Stanton hits Colbert near midfield for a first down and Tristan Davis gallops 11 more down to the Colt 37. That essentially wins it, as the Colts are out of timeouts and have to let the clock run down to 2:00.
Linehan freaking idiotically calls for a ROLLOUT PASS next, but it runs right into a Tyjuan Hagler blitz for a huge loss. WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING RUNNING?!? The Lions finally do work the clock down to 0:27 before punting. The Colts announcer, who is possibly drunk, thinks the Lions are going to kneel on it in punting formation.
After the touchback, Indy gets 19 seconds to score. PUT IN THE STARTERS! Remember after the Colts' easy first TD, when I said this might be the one time I'd ever be tempted to bet on a preseason game? Never gamble on sports, kids. Orion Martin sacks Painter to end the game.
MVP: Drew Stanton (4-6-56) was sharp and led the Lions to the winning TD / two-point conversion.
What did we learn: There's better backup QB play around the NFL than many reckoned on. Stanton and Painter looked very good for their respective teams today. Stafford made a good recovery from his awful night in Cleveland, but I still think Culpepper's the starter there for now. The inability of the Colts' starting defense to stop a Scott Linehan offense is really bothersome, though. The Lion running game gashed them a lot. They look like they're in the same boat they were in last year.
Up next: Straight over now to Raiders at Saints.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Game 34: Rams 24, Bengals 21
Yep, I'm skipping again, to Week 3, but as a Rams fan, it's definitely worth it, because Steve Spagnuolo's D was rockin' last night: try six sacks and four turnovers:RamView recap
Also, bump the Preseason Challenge soda count up to 15. Hey, it takes me an extra hour just to watch Rams games!
MVP: Safety James Butler hit the Bengals with a sack on their very first play and returned a fumble 71 yards for a TD the next drive.
What did we learn: The Rams will get after you on defense. Chris Long looked like a Pro Bowler. The blitz-heavy defense they figure to use in the regular season gave the Bengals fits. The Bengals need Carson Palmer healthy if they're going to go anywhere. And, duh. They are making nice strides on defense. Robert Geathers' play is quality. Rookie Michael Johnson gave the Rams fits. Pat Sims is a good anchor in the middle. If their young LBs live up to their potential, they'll mess somebody up.
Up next: Ooh, tonight's a tough call but I'm looking too busy for Patriots-Redskins at the moment. I'm thinking more along the lines of the Colts-Lions / Raiders-Saints NFL Network doubleheader tomorrow (followed by a two-network quadrupleheader Sunday!)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Game 25: Whiners 21, Raiders 20
Usually one of the more entertaining preseason games, we've got the annual Raiders-Whiners Bay Area Derby now to close out my Sunday quintupleheader. (though Texans-Saints is on at midnight - hey, what do you expect when I gotta work tomorrow?)The Whiners kick off and Oakland will start from its 23. Sounds like we've got the Whiner crew announcing. Darren McFadden off right tackle for 2. Darius Heyward-Bey and Louis Murphy starting at WR with Chaz Schilens injured, I believe out for the season with a broken foot. McFadden gets nothing around left end on 2nd down and a Whiner blitz forces a bad Russell pass on 3rd down. Raiders punt.
"Don't even think about throwing down with ME, Cable."
Frisco from its 22 with Tim Couch, ER, Alex Smith at QB. He throws away the SFNBTE pass. (Stupid freaking naked bootleg tight end pass - I need an abbreviation). Frank Gore and Isaac Bruce are both getting their first preseason action tonight. Gore gets 3 on 2nd down. Smith hits Vernon Davis over the middle at the 40 for a first down. Bruce can't come up with a pass behind him at midfield. How dare the moron doing color for the Whiners blame Bruce for this incompletion. The pass was barely within his reach! Four for Gore. Davis muffs a pass through his hands on third down to force a punt. Now THAT was a catchable ball.
Screen pass over a blitzer to McFadden gets 5. Jamarcus Russell to Tony Stewart for 20 to the 45. Stewart gets bump-drafted on the catch and lands on his head but goes off the field without help. McFadden can manage only 4 on a couple of runs to set up 3rd-and-6 at midfield. Manny Lawson gets good pressure from RDE and capitalizes for a sack when Russell trips over his own feet on his dropback. We have a punting war underway at Candlestick.
Glen Coffee pours up the middle for a couple as the Whiners start at their 16. Pitch left to Coffee gets 19 to the 35. Smith tries to make the best of what looks like a broken play and throws a dying quail after getting whacked by two Raiders. Two up the middle for Coffee. First down pass to Arnaz Battle at the 45. Alex Smith's as good as Marc Bulger if you get him time. Battle loses a bunch on a reverse, but it wasn't Smith's fault, as he DESTROYED Greg Ellis in the backfield with a big block. Put the DE on his back. Best block of the preseason. Battle still lost 6. Pass to Coffee at the 46 leaves 3rd-and-9. They go four wide, and Smith throws too high for Josh Morgan, it goes through his hands, and Ricky Brown picks up the rebound for an Oakland INT. He returns it down to the 7 yard line. Morgan was clearly worried about the hit we was about to take, I think from Chris Johnson, and he got a little case of alligator arms. Bad throw by Smith but the results were a lot worse than he probably deserved.
First and goal. Quick out to Zach Miller at the 3. 2nd-and-goal. Justin Fargas runs right into 53 at the 3 and gets nowhere. Third and goal. Cable better be going for it if there's 4th and goal or I will punch him out. Pass for Murphy in the end zone broken up. 4th and goal. While Steve Spagnuolo scoffs at those crazy Raiders, they go for it on 4th goal from the 3. Russell has Murphy open running to the
back of the end zone but overthrows him. Raiders turn it over on downs.
Still beats a FG in preseason for me. They'll learn more from that play than they would from a Janikowski FG. Plus they've got the Whiners backed up inside their 5. So what do the Raiders do? Jump offsides to get the Whiners off their goal line. Ball at the 9. Coffee gets grounded for a yard. Way too much Coffee up the middle; they should be getting him into open space. He gets 7 off right tackle for a first down. Smith sprints right to escape a sack and throws the ball away. On the last play of the first quarter, Coffee percolates over right tackle for 19.
End of first quarter: no score. I think that's my first scoreless first quarter this postseason.
The San Francisco cheerleaders are clearly taking costuming cues from the San Diego cheerleaders.
And I approve.
The laughable Shaun Hill enters the game as Whiners QB. Coffee bounces off a jam around right end
and pops off ANOTHER 18 yards for a first down across midfield. 7 rushes for 65 yards for Coffee
already. Bomb for Arnaz Battle incomplete. I'm surprised Hill could throw it that far. He does barely get a pass to Davis in the flat for little gain. 3rd-and-9. Hill escapes the Raider rush and gets away
with a spaz pass to Josh Morgan that should have been intercepted. Steve Spagnuolo can't believe the Whiners would go for it here, 4th-and-2 near midfield in such an important preseason game, but they do. And fail when the Raiders knock down Hill's pass.
So now it's the Raiders' ball near midfield. Russell misses DHB over the middle under pressure. I don't know why the Whiner announcers are giving Dre Bly any credit on the play; DHB had him smoked. The blitz rushed Russell's pass. Fargas slips a couple of tackles with a screen pass and gets 11. Ridiculous holding by Nate Clements against Johnnie Lee Higgins on a deep route sets the Raiders up at the 13-yard line. Shocker, back-to-back penalties move the Raiders back to the 28. Murphy can't get much out of an end-around. Timeout, Oakland on 3rd-22. To the Raiders' credit, they go into the end zone instead of running a stupid damn screen, and Murphy exploits a blown coverage by Clements for a TD catch. Bravo Raiders. As for the Whiners, snicker, that's a lot of money you're paying Clements to make a boneheaded play like that.
Oakland 7, San Francisco 0.
Glen Coffee continues the process of making the rest of the NFC West crap their pants with a 35-yard run right off the start of the next drive. Big hole for him again on the left side. Hill misses Morgan on a near sideline go route. Not much for Coffee up the middle on 2nd down. USE HIM ON THE EDGE! 3rd-and-7 draw for Coffee is good for 8. He's having a super night, but I can't believe Coffee is going to get all these yawning gaps of space during the regular season. The Raider LBs have to be screwing up to repeatedly give up all this space. 5 more for Coffee, then a slant to Battle inside the 20 for a first down. Mr. Coffee filters his way down to the 12. Whiner booth talks about Oakland's ongoing struggles stopping the run, so we have, as I thought, part of the reason Coffee's running wild. 3rd and inches after another Coffee run to the 7, then down to the 4 to make it first-and-goal. Coffee up the middle for 2. Raiders need a timeout on 2nd-and-goal, and as it's getting late, I need soda #14 of the 2009 Challenge. Tommy Kelly hits Coffee behind the line and the Raiders drop him at the 4. That's one thing about all of Coffee's other runs, the Raiders haven't even been competitive on the line of scrimmage for them. 3rd-goal, Raiders take Coffee out and go 4-wide. Hill rolls right and tries to hit Davis in the back of the end zone but he hits a Raider DB in the back instead. Joe Nedney hits the chippie at the 2:00 warning.
Oakland 7, San Francisco 3.
What a stupid thing to do; the kickoff goes out of bounds and sets Oakland up at the 40 with 2:00 to go. Oakland counters with a Robert Gallery false start. Jeff Garcia has entered the game to the strains of boos from his old home fans. He throws a couple of dumpoffs and scrambles for 9 across midfield to keep the drive alive. Timeout, Oakland at the Whiner 48. 1:06 left in the half. Garcia to Murphy, who gets out of bounds at the 38. Boy does Garcia have nowhere near as strong an arm as Russell. Raiders pick up the blitz but Garcia throws it away deep. Had the TE open over that way, too. Draw to Michael Bush appears to get 10. Garcia spikes with 0:39 left. Garcia dodges pressure but throws high and behind Higgins on a crossing pattern. It goes off his hands and to Allen Rossum for an INT. The Whiners let what's left of the clock run out with a couple of handoffs.
Halftime score: Oakland 7, San Francisco 3.
Whiners open the second half at the 20. Nate Davis and Michael Robinson are your new Whiner backfield. Robinson hits a big hole on the right side for 12. Who's the assistant coach Tom Cable punched out last week? I hope it was the defensive line coach. Robinson's out to the 50 with another first down after three more runs. He gets ANOTHER big hole on the left side and gets 8. Hand it off to me, San Francisco, I want to gain 100 yards tonight too. Robinson delays and cuts back for another 7 yards. Who does he think he is, Omar Cuff? Whiners finally let Nate Davis throw one and he fires it too low and incomplete. Robinson rips off 7 more around left end. The Raiders aren't getting off blocks and they're tackling poorly. False start sets up 3rd-and-7. RICKY MANNING JUNIOR makes a nice play and trips up Robinson in the backfield. Mike Singletary sends Nedney in for a 51-yard attempt but he hooks it pretty badly right.
Raiders at the 41 after the missed FG. I guess it was just a cameo tonight for Garcia; Bruce Gradkowski is at the con now. He starts with an 8-yard scramble around right end. Bush gets the first down up the middle. Gradkowski finds Brandon Myers wide open down the middle of the field for 34. Raiders at the 12. Bush spins for 3. Gradkowski fires over the middle again to Myers again, down to the 2. Reggie Nelson gets blamed for the big completion earlier. 3rd and inches. Gradkowski takes a sneak inside the 1. Louis Rankin can't get in on first-and-goal, but the Raiders score off klutzy-looking
play action, with Gradkowski finding Myers over the middle one more time, for a TD.
Oakland 14, San Francisco 3.
Whiners start at their 20 again. Sweet juggling catch by TE J.J. Finley for 9, and Robinson gets the first down up the middle. Jay Richardson gets pressure on Davis and forces a throwaway. Nice grab by Jason Hill in a crowd for 11. Davis scrambles away from another blitz and hits Delanie Walker at the 35 for a first down, and he runs another 8 after the catch to make it a 26-yard play. Robinson blasts off left tackle for 25 more. 1st-goal at the 5. Robinson cruises down to the 1. The 49ers should be in a lot better shape on the scoreboard, they way they're dominating the line of scrimmage tonight.
End of third quarter: Oakland 14, San Francisco 3.
Davis hits Walker off play-action for the TD. Walker was open in the end zone by yards. Frisco evilly goes for two and gets it. Why are you playing for the tie, Mike Singletary?
Oakland 14, San Francisco 11.
Even though that was a 49er TD, it's still my favorite play in all creation. Goal line play-action,
throw to the TE. Works every time.
Raiders at their 22. Marques Harris knocks down a Gradkowski pass attempt on the blitz. Gradkowski wishes his next pass was knocked down; he throws an awful ball right to Scott McKillop for an INT. I think a rushing Whiner hit his arm. Golden opportunity handed to Frisco to take the lead or tie.
Yes, Kentwan Ballmer tipped the Gradkowski pass that was intercepted. SF from the Raider 30. Kory Sheets blows off right tackle for 16, down to the 11. 49ers have run for 232 yards tonight. They have 3rd-and-4 at the 5 after two more runs by Sheets. Make it 3rd-and-9 after Jacob Bender
false starts badly. Davis flushes right and has to throw the pass away. Alex Romero TIES THE GAME
from 28. We don't need no stinking ties in preseason, Singletary.
Oakland 14, San Francisco 14.
New QB for Oakland gets intercepted before we can even find out who he is. He overthrows nick Miller by a foot, one 49er tips it and it goes to Carlos Thomas for the INT. He returns it to the Raider 25.
Davis hits Jason Hill at the 10. Brian Boschetti slows the tide by tripping Sheets up in the backfield for -2. Sheets gets down to the 5 on a pitch left. 3rd and goal, Sheets walks into the end zone over the right side. He gets a big block from former Illini linebacker Brit Miller, who it sounds like has a serious chance of making the 49er roster as a fullback. 49ers take their first lead of the night.
San Francisco 21, Oakland 14.
The Whiners have 18 points here in the 4th quarter. Charlie Frye's the culprit who threw the INT earlier. He starts now from the 32. Gary Russell sweeps right for 4. The 49ers jump way offsides on 2nd down yet the crowd still goes nuts when they scoop up a loose ball and return in into the end zone. Make it 2nd-and-1 for Oakland. Russell squirts out to the 48 with a first down. Frye next launches a pass that Myers amazingly beats double coverage to come up with at the 22. Frye overthrows everybody on the field on first down. Frye rolls right and hits Nick Miller, who scrambles down to the 7. Go figure, a flag on Oakland. 1st-goal at the 12 now. Wonder who Cable's gonna punch out for that. Raiders rerun the play they just ran but it's only good to 19 for a couple. Frye's tripped up trying to scramble and goes down at the 8. Shocking, another Raider penalty. 3rd-goal at the 13. Plenty of time to throw for Frye, but he escapes the pocket and eventually winds his way down to the 1, unable to dive and extend the ball inside the pylon. Cable challenges the call, believing Frye did score. Tough to tell if Cable is right, but it was certainly worth the challenge from the replays we can see at home. Especially when Oakland wins the challenge.
Does Cable go for two here?
Yes he does, and God bless him for not settling for the tie with 3:30 left. I smell QB draw. No, they roll Frye right and he runs smack into a CB blitz by Terrail Lambert, inspiring a wild throw that drops incomplete. Cable still deserves good karma for the gamble; maybe the Oakland fuzz will get off his back.
San Francisco 21, Oakland 20.
Sheets gains a couple with the Whiners starting at their 25. He goes around right end for 3 more.
Raiders call timeout at 2:36. They still have two to burn. Davis scrambles and hits Hill on 3rd down,
but he's not only a couple of yards short, he goes out of bounds and stops the clock. TERRIBLE PATTERN! Whiners punt it back. The first punt comes back on a 49er penalty, then Nick Miller fumbles the return for Oakland on the re-kick. The Raiders wish Miller luck in his future endeavors.
Sheets gains a couple around left end at the 2:00 warning. He gets stuffed for a loss at the Raider
28 and Oakland calls timeout at 1:56. Futilely, because Sheets goes off left end for 12 and the Whiners should be able to kneel it out. No, the replay official wants to review God-knows-what. Sheets did in fact achieve the first down, so the Whiners are cleared for 1:11 worth of victory formation.
Final score: San Francisco 21, Oakland 20.
MVP: Glen Coffee, whose 129 yards rushing can't be ignored no matter how bad Oakland's defense is.
What did we learn: Shades of the Rams Friday night, the Raiders couldn't run the ball (69 yards, with Frye the leading rusher) or stop the run on defense, allowing 275 yards. With Schilens out, they need receivers to step up and have to be happy with Myers' 4-75 and Murphy's 2-34, each with a TD. Maybe not so happy, though, with Heyward-Bey's 0-0. Hiram Eugene had 5 tackles and his name was called repeatedly on the broadcast. The Whiners will obviously be happy with Coffee's brewing success, but how much of that game was him and how much was it poor Raider defense? Whiner Nation doesn't need to hear that question after its "top two" QBs combined to go 6-16-50 with a pick. The passing game was as wretched as the running game was good. I still think Alex Smith is the better of the QBs there, but he certainly hasn't taken any kind of firm hold on the QB1 job.
Up next: good question. I was hoping to backtrack to Redskins-Ravens from week 1, but I'm done for
tonight and have a very full schedule tomorrow night. We'll see. The way things are going, either
that will be the next game, or it'll be Week 3 Rams-Bengals Thursday night.
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