Game 39: Whiners 20, Cowboys 13

Now off to a rivalry that used to mean a whole lot more than it does now, with the Whiners trekking to Jerry Jones' Palace in Dallas. I'll have three hours to complain about their scoreboard controversy - why start now?

Still can't figure out NFL Network's local broadcast pattern. Dallas is the home team for this one, but we're getting the Whiner broadcast crew. What did happen to the old one-half-for-each-team broadcasts? Are some local broadcasters telling the NFL to buzz off?

One thing we can assume - whatever NFL Network's doing differently this preseason, it's very probably cheaper.

Dallas gets the ball first at their 20, standard starting backfield of Tony Romo and Marion Barber. Short drag to Jason Witten for a couple. Patrick Willis all over that. Barber up the middle for 2-3 more. Romo gets a long time to throw on 3rd down with SF just bringing 4, and he gets it to Kevin Ogletree on the sideline at the 30. Like how Romo looks downfield instead of settling for dumps, though an incomplete after a Barber run sets him up for 3rd-and-6. No problem, he loops another to Ogletree down the middle for 34. Ball at the SF36. Romo keeps firing downfield but misses Ogletree by a lot on 2nd down. 3rd-10. Whiner D stays very vanilla and Romo finds Witten for only 3. Nick Folk hits from 48, but there's a holding call on the attempt. I think it's Cory Procter who just cost them 3 points. Mat McBriar's punt hits just the end zone, not the stupid freaking scoreboard.

The 49ers line up with official starting QB Shaun Hill behind center. Swing pass to Gore goes for 8, and the Whiners really drive the Cowboys back to get Gore 4 more and the first. Gore again, right side for 4 more. Isaac Bruce starts at WR. His motion clears out space for Michael Robinson for around 10 and another first at the 47. Gore off the left side for 5. Jay Ratliff jumps a mile offside to give up another first. Whiners quickly to the Dallas 38. Hill hangs in the pocket forever and eventually throws it away in Bruce's direction. Good coverage by Dallas. Pass over the middle for Vernon Davis is too high. 3rd-10. Uselessly, the Whiners go Wildcat formation with Michael Spurlock in the shotgun, but he just hands off to Gore off-tackle with no deception whatsoever and very little gain. That was a real WTF play. End zone now leads the score board 2-0 after the punt.

Barber up the middle for a couple to the 22. He works off the left side for six behind a good block from Witten. 49ers take a timeout. Barber drives through Dre Bly for three and the first. Justin Smith forces Romo to roll right, and Romo can't connect with Miles Austin at the sideline. Austin slips on a 2nd down route and Romo's nearly picked off by Bly. The Whiners give him forever to throw on 3rd down, though, and he hits Austin over the middle for 22. The 49ers only rushed three there and left Witten all alone 5 yards downfield, too. But Romo still found the deep man for the first down. With the ball at the SF48, the Whiners use their second TO of the drive, perhaps concerned that this game has been moving at too nice a pace. Or maybe they want to ask their d-coordinator why they're being so passive on pass rush so far. Smoke route to Austin actually works for 12, as Patrick Crayton rode Bly out of the play nicely. No gain for Felix Jones.

TERRIBLE back-foot throw by Romo is picked off by Mark Roman near the goal line and returned all the way to the Dallas 40. May have been a bad route by Ogletree but it certainly wasn't a smart throw by Romo. 49er ball.

Hill tries to go up top after the turnover but his throw is laughably five yards short of Bruce running the go route and nearly picked. Vintage Shaun Hill. Handoff to Robinson gets 2 before Michael Jenkins cuts down a swing pass to Gore to force a punt. Whiners down it at the 6.

You know that new show "Flash Forward"? Something weird has gone on here in the NFL Network time and space continuum. Suddenly we've got the Dallas broadcast, it's the second quarter, and the Cowboys have made it all the way across midfield. That's eight kinds of bizarre. Romo hits Austin on the near sideline at the SF 30. Maybe Jerry Jones manipulated time and space and just put Dallas out at midfield. Solid pull block by Witten gives Barber an alley to run down to the 15. Barber has 10 carries tonight, more than Steven Jackson will have the entire preseason. Dre Bly mysteriously goes down without contact to stop the clock. Hmm, that's not often good. Kentwan Balmer shuts down Barber at the 13 to force 3rd-and-6. Justin Smith gets after Romo on a stunt again, but Tony rolls right again and hits Witten at the 5. First and goal. Just 1 for Barber. Delay handoff to Felix Jones up the middle gets Dallas a TD, though. Great. Are they planning to pull Barber out near the goal line and have Jones vulture TDs away? Thanks for screwing with my second-round FFL strategy tomorrow night, Dallas.

Dallas 7, San Francisco 0.

13-play, 94-yard, 8-plus minute drive there for Dallas, some of which NFL Network even let us see.

49ers on deck now at their 15. Now we've got the 49er broadcast feed back. Bly just cramped up and should return. Dallas decaffeinates the 49ers here, holding Glen Coffee to a yard on first down and sacking Hill on 3rd down, with Ratliff pretty much walking right by Chilo Rachal. The punt doesn't go well, at all, for Frisco, either, with Terrance Newman returning it 43 to the SF 15. Don't blame the coverage there, blame Andy Lee's AWFUL line drive punt. Don't tell me visiting punters are going to get a don't-hit-the-scoreboard complex.

Dallas in, um, pretty good field position with 5:15 till the half. SF penalty on the return actually makes it first and goal just inside the 10. Romo to who? FB Julius Crosslin? in the flat for 3. Jones sweeps left end down to the 3. Parys Haralson and Bly both miss him in the backfield. Right side of the Cowboy line false-starts on 3rd-and-goal. Good pressure by Ray McDonald, whipping Leonard Davis right up the middle, flushes Romo, who then THROWS to Crayton at the 2 instead on keeping it when he could have easily run it in on his own. Folk chips it in from 25 out.

Dallas 10, San Francisco 0.

Allen Rossum is returning kicks for the 49ers now, another reason for Rams fans to worry about their special teams this year. Penalty on the next return puts them back at their 10, though, with about 2:40 till the half. Coffee grinds out 14 on two carries as the 2:00 warning arrives. Dallas blitzes after a 5-yard Coffee screen and Hill can't get much on the sideline incompletion. 3rd-5. Arnaz Battle is wide open on the drag, though, and takes it out across the 45. Pressure forces a Hill throwaway, then he flings a poor screen for Coffee incomplete on 2nd down. Battle bails him out with an impressive diving catch at the Dallas 35. Newman nearly picks him off on 2nd down. Hill couldn't get any velocity on the ball even if he just dropped one off the roof of a tall building. Effective drive by the Whiners, though, thanks mostly to Battle, and they're down to the Dallas 25 with 11 seconds left. FG by Joe Nedney from there.

Ogletree jukes a Whiner and returns the kickoff back across midfield, but not before time expires.

Halftime score: Dallas 10, San Francisco 3.

Whiners will start the second half from their 20. Handoffs and screens to Coffee, one beating a blitz on third down, get them across the 40 before another Cowboy blitz on 3rd down forces a Hill throwaway and a punt.

Dallas takes over at their 23 with Jon Kitna at QB. Tashard Choice enters the game at tailback. Kitna hits Martellus Bennett at the 39 to beat a 3rd-down blitz, but the Whiners blow up a screen two plays later and Kitna throws well wide of Austin on 3rd down. Austin was out of sync that whole possession.

Whiners back in charge at their 21. DAMON HUARD is in now for the Whiners at QB. He hit a screen for 12 and a sideline pass for 13 more while the 49er sideline reporter blathers on about Dallas' luxury suites, you know, like the one right on the field where all you can see are the cheerleaders. Sack for Anthony Spencer after that, though, followed by a pass clanging off Delanie Walker's hand and Huard pitching out of bounds to avoid the rush on third down. Huard's in because Alex Smith has an injured finger. Musta caught it from Bulger.

Crayton returns the punt all the way out to the 45. Not a lot of good punt coverage tonight by Frisco's backups. Choice plows across midfield on 2nd down but Kitna well overthrows Bennett in the flat on 3rd. No, that was not Drew Bennett. Punter!

What, no more Huard? Nate Davis at QB now at the SF 12. New tailback Kory Sheets bounces outside for 13, and gets 8 more on a screen. Davis gets forever on third and 1 and hits a deep hitch to Walker for about 20 to the Dallas 45. Diving sideline catch by Spurlock at the 20. After buying himself a lot of time while staying in the pocket, Davis spears Joe Jon Finley at the 1. Superb play there by the young QB. Unfortunately, we're now threatened with a tie preseason game. Sheets dives over the top like a salmon diving down a waterfall to even the score.

End of third quarter: San Francisco 10, Dallas 10.

Kitna to Bennett at midfield to start the 4th quarter. 13 to Choice on a draw while Patrick Willis is interviewed on the sidelines and says the Cowboys "are still my team" because he rooted for them as a kid. Well, that was a questionable thing to say. Choice bolts around right end for 18 to put Dallas inside the 20. He's up the middle for about 10 more as the Whiners suddenly aren't stopping a thing. Best news for Frisco here is that he has to come off the field with cramps on 3rd-and-1 inside the 10. Sure enough, Jeff Ulbrich holds up Keon Lattimore to force 4th-and-1. DALLAS IS LEGALLY OBLIGED TO KICK THE FG HERE, TAKE THE LEAD, AND PREVENT THE TIE AT ALL COSTS. Which Folk does, giving Dallas the lead with still 11:00 to play.

Dallas 13, San Francisco 10.

49ers assume control at their 23. Brutal facemask by Jason Hatcher for 15, though unlike nearly all NFL players, he appears to show actual remorse. Doesn't help the Whiners much, as they commit a hold and Davis gets sacked. Way too much for two screens to Sheets to overcome, especially when he drops the second one. Punt's away with about 7:50 left.

Clutch play by Frisco here, as Eric Green strips a ball out of Isaiah Stanback's hands after a catch and Reggie Smith recovers at the Dallas 30. Seems like that's the first turnover of the game, with 7:30 left. Britt Miller fields a ball I was certain bounced off the ground, gets back up and runs it down to the 15. Looks like he got his hand and arm under it; fine call by the referees. Cowboys tighten the screws from there and force 3rd-and-8. Inside handoff to Sheets out of Wildcat formation gets down to the 7, where Singletary will surely go for it on 4th-and-2, with 4:00 left.

NO FUCKING WAY. THEY KICK A FIELD GOAL? SINGLETARY, YOU S.O.B.!

San Francisco 13, Dallas 13.

Singletary should be fined and suspended by the league for opting to tie a preseason game with 4:00 left. Especially when it's a possession Dallas handed to them in the first place with a turnover. Bastard.

Let's go, Dallas. Kitna at the 19. Pass to TE John Phillips up the seam to beat a blitz out to the 36. But I think I know now why we had that weird time skip in the 2nd quarter; that was probably the edit to fit OVERTIME into the 3-hour window for the NFL Network broadcast. Kitna hits another TE, Scott Chandler, across midfield, though. Dumpoff to Lattimore leaves 3rd-1 at the 39, THEN KITNA FUMBLES THE SNAP. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Dallas to punt at the 2:00 warning.

You'd better fucking score this drive, Singletary. I do not suffer preseason overtime gladly, especially when you had every opportunity to prevent it. 1:52 left from the 9. Two straight incompletions by Davis. Then the Dallas rush forces him to scramble wildly into the end zone and chuck up little more than a prayer for Jason Hill far up the sideline. And fucking idiot DB Courtney Brown obliges the Whiners with a brutal, idiotic pass interference penalty. Jerry Jones wishes Brown luck in his future endeavors cleaning toilets at the Dallas Palace. God damn moron! Frisco at their 36, instead of punting from the back of their end zone. Davis beats back to back Cowboys blitzes, hitting Dominique Ziegler at the Cowboy 46 with :54 left. Dominique, as spelled and pronounced, is a woman's name, btw. Dominic is a man's name. OH GREAT, THE REPLAY OFFICIAL WANTS A REVIEW. Why? It's pretty obviously a catch by Ziegler. Thanks for the delay, dumbasses.

Looks like Singletary's going to avoid OT after all, though I'm not apologizing to him. Spurlock burns DeAngelo Smith badly on the drag - they didn't even use a pick on the play - gets a perfect throw from Smith, and takes it all the way down to the 12.

NOW EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WADE PHILLIPS IS USING TIMEOUTS. Let them kick the FG and go home! Sheets drives up the middle instead for a 11-yard TD; great effort. Dallas can't get anywhere the last 20 seconds to send us home.

Final score: San Francisco 20, Dallas 13.

MVP: Nate Davis (10-15-132) willed the Whiners from behind, got that miraculously stupid DPI to get the 49ers out of a hole in the last 2:00 and completed a great pass to Spurlock that was effectively FTW. He surely locked up a roster spot in the process.

What did we learn: If that was Frisco's regular-season game-planning, their defense is going to be surprisingly passive and not rely on blitzing much. I find that hard to believe, however. I also find it hard to believe that Shaun Hill (9-17-79) is going to complete many passes if it's a windy day outside. Their running game looked a lot less stronger against a team that actually knows how to defend the run. And look out for Spurlock in Wildcat mode. If you're going up against Tony Romo, obviously, you're going to want to try to take away the TEs. I still don't think they have established a go-to wideout. They tried to make Austin a big part of the first-half offense but he appeared to be sleepwalking. I think Jenkins' influence is being felt in their secondary. They were good back there today; you can usually count on the Cowboy secondary to be bad.

Up next: Jay Cutler's tearful reunion with his old Denver fans on NBC at 7 pm.