Monday, August 16, 2010

Game 5: Washington 42, Buffalo 17


So, week 1 of the NFL preseason is officially over and I'm already 13 games behind? Just another year of the Preseason Challenge. Up now, Bills vs. Redskins, a Super Bowl XXVI rematch and the D.C. debut of Donovan McNabb. Kenny Albert and Joe Theismann with the call for the Redskins Network.

You know, I used to pooh-pooh the issue for being so much political correctness, but after reading an article in S.I. from about a year ago about the integration of the NFL, I was shocked at how racist Redskins ownership was at that time. This franchise does not have a proud history. Knowing what I know now, they'll never move away from that racist past until they move to a new nickname. I recommend the Federals, Daniel Snyder. Think of the merchandising opportunities. Just change the yellow striping on the current uniform to blue and change up the helmet logo. Make it so.

Here's a link to that article. It's very good and talks a lot about the Rams, who were the first integrated team, but kind of had to have it forced on them. I'm overdue to restart a recommended reading section on ramview.com and will make sure this gets there.

Oh, the game. Devin Thomas absolutely butchers catching the opening kickoff and volleyballs it over to -Byron- Westbrook, who has to scramble to fall on it at the 16. Marcus Stroud swallows up a couple of runs but McNabb hits Chris Cooley for 11 and an initial 1st down. McNabb throws into a crowd at midfield 3 plays later to bring in the punt team. That was into a crowd of 4 Bills; damn lucky not to be intercepted. I should add for fantasy football purposes that Clinton Portis lined up first at RB, but no FFL player in their right mind should be taking a Mike Shanahan RB all that early anyway, should they?

Trent Edwards heads up the Buffalo herd at the 20. The Bills already have three starting o-linemen hurt; who do they think they are, the Rams? Fred Jackson gains 4 up the middle, cuts back for 7 the next play and draws a face mask at the end of that play. Edwards beats a blitz - sure, NOW Jim Haslett wants to blitz - by hitting Jonathan Stupar for 7. Smoke route to Lee Evans works for about 10. Screen to Corey McIntyre off play-action gains 11 more. Bills empty the backfield and Haslett blitzes - would have been nice if he would have done that ONCE with the Rams - and Edwards hits Roscoe Parrish on a slant for 7. Wow, Roscoe Parrish is still a Bill? A nice sweep right by Marshawn Lynch gets all the way down to the 2 but comes back for a hold. 3rd-and-13, Edwards settles for a pass to Lynch in the flat and London Fletcher brings him down a couple of yards short. 38-yard FG for Rian Lindell. Bills 3, Redskins 0

McNabb operating from the 20. False start, make it the 15. Portis gets 6 off right tackle, then Roydell Williams takes a quick hook, eludes Terrence McGee and scoots up the sideline for 22. Joey Galloway beats McGee deep by a couple of steps but McNabb can't hit him. A late hit by Aaron Maybin gives the Redskins a new set of downs at the Buffalo 39. Ryan Torain goes around right end for 6. McNabb scrambles for another first down. That was so exciting McNabb needed a timeout. He next drills Cooley down at the 10. Both teams have been throwing a lot out of the shotgun and empty backfields so far. Portis sweeps down to the 5 on 1st down and gets stopped at the 4 on 2nd down. Dude, you're not on my fantasy team; go ahead and score. Anthony Armstrong catches a bullet from McNabb at the goal line and fights through the very-picked-on McGee for the TD. Redskins 7, Bills 3

If the Bills had challenged that TD, it wouldn't have counted. Armstrong clearly did not extend the ball across the goal line until after he was down.

Bills will attempt a reply from their 27. C.J. Spiller shows NICE speed on his very first touch, bouncing right for 12. So what do the morons do next? Throw twice. A deep shot to Steve Johnson never has a chance, and a sideline pass for Evans is jumped by DeAngelo Hall and returned down to the 10.

McNabb's night is already over; Rex Grossman at QB for Washington. And as you might expect with Grossman at QB, the first couple of plays go nowhere.

End of first quarter: Redskins 7, Bills 3.

On 3rd down, Andra Davis commits illegal contact on Santana Moss at the goal line to give Washington new life. Keiland Williams, who's listed on Yahoo as the kick returner, takes it in on two tries from the 5. Redskins 14, Bills 3

Edwards to try again, from the 25 this time. Oh for God's sake, they have Daniel Snyder in the broadcast booth. Big ego owners sure have no trouble getting on TV, do they? Snyder's team stuffs Spiller, and Evans drops the third-down pass, to induce a punt.

Block in the back erases a big punt return by Brandon Banks. Banks is listed on the roster at 142 pounds, or 78 pounds less than the Redskins punter. Grossman from the 23. Torain comes clean out of the backfield and beats Arthur Moats handily over the middle for 22. The Bills stuff Torain, Reggie Corner the corner nearly pick-sixes Grossman on 2nd down, so what do the morons do on 3rd-and-9? Leave Bobby Wade wide open in the middle of the field for 24. Torain then cracks off another 15 yards on a run, and the Redskins are suddenly first-and-goal. Two plays later, Rex hits Fred Davis on the sideline at the 2 with a pretty pass, and Davis stiffarms Corner away in embarrassing easy fashion to score Washington's third TD. Redskins 21, Bills 3

The National Football Service has just issued a blowout warning for the Landover, Maryland area. Edwards remains in the game and will start at the 23 after a false start. Edwards spots a blitz and attempts to adjust for it, but Perry Riley comes up the middle untouched anyway and sacks him. And now the Bills call a timeout. This team is a total disaster right now. Guess what they try on 2nd-and-15. A TWO-YARD PASS. And it's incomplete. Edwards does find Johnson matched up in zone coverage against Riley, and hits him for 14.9. Bills line up to go for it at their own 38, but a half-hearted attempt to get the Redskins to jump offside doesn't work. Where was the hard count? And on comes the punt team. Jake Locker probably ought to start looking up real estate agents in the Buffalo area right now.

Redskins take over at their 16. DPI this time on Corner the corner, who is having a visibly rotten night. The Bills do it again; get Washington 3rd-and-long and then give up the first down, this time with Devin Thomas beating Leodis McKelvin. Redskins are 6-for-7 on third down tonight. The Redskins finally stall but only after an illegal formation penalty on Trent Williams takes away a Williams reception that had gone all the way down to the Bills 20.

Harvard time! Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB for Buffalo. From the 12, he rolls right and has to throw a stupid bootleg pass intended for the TE running a 2-yard out into the ground. After a false start, the dreaded DRAW PLAY works for Joique Bell out to the 24. Ran right by Albert Haynesworth. Bell follows with a handoff and a screen that get nowhere; 3rd-and-8 at the 2:00 warning.

And of course the Bills throw a 4-yard slant on 3rd-and-8. If you don't hate the Buffalo Bills already, you will after trying to watch one of their games. For crying out loud.

Banks muffs the punt and winds up losing 5 yards back to the 19. 1:03 to halftime. Grossman misses Thomas on 1st down, and a poor shotgun snap fouls up a draw play on 2nd down. They grind out the rest of the clock to send out the frisbee-catching dogs.

Halftime score: Redskins 21, Bills 3.

Redskins outgained the Bills 199 yards to 106 in the 1st half, most of that difference coming through the air. Fitzpatrick will try to matriculate the Bills from their 20. They 3-and-out. Spiller gets stuffed, Fitz misses Chad Jackson on 2nd down, and a blitz forces a checkdown on 3rd. Doesn't look like that draw play earlier discouraged the Redskins from blitzing.

And I guess I have no idea what a block in the back is, or else tonight's referees don't. Cary Harris is bearing down on Banks on the punt when - and five rewinds don't prove any different - a Redskin drills him between the shoulder blades. Banks sprints away from there, gets a nice wall to the sideline and has a very quick 77-yard TD. My eyes tell me that was the most blatant block in the back in NFL history, so I have no conceivable idea how it could have been missed. But it's Redskins 28, Bills 3 now.

More bad news for me: I can't blame Bobby April for Buffalo's special teams gaffes; he was swept out in last season's housecleaning. Down more than 3 TDs, the Bills hand off twice from their 26, and I have no idea what they expected to gain out of this game tonight. They continue to go 0-for-the-night on 3rd down as Fitz wanted Jackson to run a hitch, but he ran a go. Harris tackles Banks for no gain on the punt return, PERHAPS BECAUSE HE WASN'T DRILLED IN THE BACK THIS TIME.

Grossman's nearly picked off on 1st down, but Mike Sellers gains 5 and Rex scrambles for the first down the next play. John McCargo, a name I'm sure Bills fans are glad to hear is doing anything, stuffs Torain. But Grossman hits Wade at midfield and Thomas at the 45 for another first down. At this point I learn the Redskins' backup LT is named Will Robinson. I assume he plays well in space, then. Torain scores points when he picks up a grounded screen pass and runs with it when it wasn't clear the play had been blown dead. Two plays later, Thomas is wide open on a deep post behind George Wilson and Corner the corner for a 44-yard TD, nice toss from Grossman. Corner got turned inside out and Wilson wasn't back to help. As impossible as it would seem on a team as bad as the Bills, Corner has really stuck out as the worst Buffalo player tonight. Another candidate for Crappiest Player of the Preseason. Redskins 35, Bills 3

We're still only halfway through the 3rd quarter! Well past time to put this game into screw-it mode. The Bills really look like last year's Rams. None of the receivers they have on the field right now are even remotely capable of getting open as Fitzpatrick goes 0-for-3. Well, at least Brian Moorman will be loose for the regular season.

Washington at their 6. John Beck, who they just traded for, steps in at QB. Early returns are poor. They gain 1 yard on 3 plays as he misses Thomas by a mile on 2nd down and gets a pass batted down on 3rd.

And, of course, the Bills fumble away the kick. Ellis (Rhymes with wankster) Lankster takes his eye off the ball and puts it on Roydell Williams, the onrushing Redskin who recovers the fumble.

A false start moves Beck and the Redskins back to the Buffalo 49. Somehow I was hoping for an Odelay of game penalty. Maybin beats Will Robinson - danger! danger! - to force a bad 2nd down throw, and Chris Ellis tips the 3rd-down pass at the line on his second try. Block him, maybe? Throw OVER him, maybe? Beck starts 0-for-4.

Smoke route from Fitz to David Nelson for one of Buffalo's big gains tonight, 8 yards. They started at the 15. Chad Simpson gets the Bills a very rare first down, then - what's THIS? - Fitz to Nelson on an out for 12 yards? BACK TO BACK FIRST DOWNS? Then, THREE IN A ROW? Fitz play-actions at the 40, rolls right and hits Donald Jones for another 12. Then, WHAT IN TARNATION?!? Simpson escapes an ankle tackle at the line, stiffarms Anderson Russell to the ground as if he were a Girl Scout, speeds up the sideline and dives for the pylon. They give him a 40-yard gain. The Redskins stuff Simpson on first-and-goal, but Fitz's mobility pays off on 2nd down as he sprints right and gives himself extra time to find Nelson in the back of the end zone for a - could it be? - BUFFALO TD. Redskins 35, Bills 10

Hey, Buffalo's been down 35-3 before and come back to win, haven't they?

Beck beckons again from the 27. Lankster (rhymes with Wankster) seals off a pitchout to Torain for a loss as the quarter ends. Still one to go?

End of third quarter: Redskins 35, Bills 10.

Arthur Moats shuts down Torain on 2nd down, and on third down, it's pretty much a jailbreak on Beck. Danger! Danger! Will Robinson gets beat badly again by Maybin, and two more Bills break free up the middle, with Beck forced into McCargo for the sack. Here come the Bills!

Big punt return by Naaman Roosevelt, 25 yards-plus to the Washington 35. Just outran everybody around the corner. Here come the Bills! Fitzpatrick in shotgun. What, no Brian Brohm tonight? After a slant to Jones, Bell explodes off right tackle for about a 28-yard TD. Corner sealed excellently by TE Shawn Nelson, who appeared to drive two defenders into the pile. Nice kickout by center Christian Gaddis as well. Redskins 35, Bills 17

HERE COME THE BILLS!

Beck will try to do something other than keep the Bills in the game from his 28 with 12:45 left. You know who looks Lost in Space tonight? Will Robinson. Maybin beats him clean again and gets a sack this time, on 2nd down. Beck, though, hits TE Lee Vickers on a shallow cross, beating Moats for a first down. Beck then trips dropping back from center. OK, you're trying this hard, let's all welcome John Beck to the candidate list for Crappiest Player of the Preseason. Redskins smartly take advantage of Maybin's aggression and run right by him with Williams for 12. Nice catch by Terrence Austin of a high slant pass gets Washington another 1st down. Drive bogs down just across midfield, though, with McCargo nearly sacking Beck AGAIN. Why does McCargo look so good tonight, Bills fans must wonder? Maybe it's because Redskins guard Chad Rinehart belongs on the CPOP list with Beck.

7:14 left. Ramzee Robinson and Armstrong team up deftly to down the punt at the 2. The new Bills QB is Levi Brown. Isn't he a tackle for the Big Dead? And where the frak is Brohm tonight? Brown wings a deep pass that the receiver has to turn around and come back for at the 30. I'm guessing they didn't pick Brown up for his arm. DRAW PLAY and punt. Sigh.

There go the Bills.

Austin brings the punt back a good 20 yards across midfield. Maybe Buffalo really does miss Bobby April. Torain blasts off left tackle for 16; nice work by Will Robinson and TE Logan Paulsen. Bills shut down two runs but let Williams bang off right tackle for 12 on 3rd-and-8. Rinehart actually did something good that play. Torain up the middle for 10 now. Redskin backups run-block a lot better than they pass-block. Williams scores from the 6 with a second-effort run on 2nd-and-goal. Redskins 42, Bills 17

Simpson takes a draw for 17, close to midfield, at the 2:00 warning. How come it took me so long to notice a RB on the Bills is named Simpson? Brown gets into a little groove, and hits Nelson back-to-back to get down to the Washington 23.

ROT IN HELL CHAN GAILEY FOR USING ALL YOUR TIMEOUTS DOWN 25 POINTS AT THE END OF A PRESEASON GAME~~~~

Jim Haslett's as tired of that crap as I am, and brings the kitchen sink at Brown on 2nd-and-12. Robert Henson is robbed of a sack by the referees who don't catch that Brown's knee is down, but they do call the QB for grounding. Eh, Henson didn't earn it anyway; he came in unblocked. I'll take Albert's word for it that Justin Tryon got his hand on the 3rd-and-26 pass, which is tipped to (Lucky) Lendy Holmes for an INT, and victory formation for the Redskins.

Final score: Redskins 42, Bills 17.

Player of the game:
I failed to mention him a lot in the play-by-play, but Tryon was the most effective DB tonight for a secondary that really put the clamps on Buffalo's miserable excuse of a passing game. I'm not looking forward to those guys week 3. Honorable mention, unbelievably, to Rex Grossman, who threw two TD passes and actually appeared competent in an NFL game, possibly for the first time in his career.

What did we learn: Buffalo is very, very bad. Passing game, running game, blocking, coaching, pass coverage, all bad. Maybin was the only bright spot among players likely to take the field for them this season. If the Rams win 2 games in 2010, they're not drafting first in 2011. Buffalo's so bad, I'm not sure what we really learned about the Redskins. They have to be happy with the way McNabb started, and with Grossman's play in relief. Unbelievable they didn't have a sack tonight, though, against that offensive line. (I scored one early for Perry Riley, but Edwards must have gotten back to the line.) Then again, they didn't start Haynesworth; then again again, he didn't even register in the box score. No tackles. Imagine that, a Jim Haslett defense that can't sack the quarterback! We'll have to keep an eye on that.

Up next: Time warp! Jumping ahead to Week 2 at this point for Rams-Browns. Hoping to work through a bunch of week 1 games after that, though, with Eggles-Jagwires next on the docket.

No comments: