Game 6: Philadelphia 28, Jacksonville 27

We jump right back in with a matchup between two infrequent opponents, though two of my favorites to misspell: the Eggles and the Jagwires in Philadelphia. Donovan McNabb's old team will try to match the success of his old team in week 1. The Eggle broadcast crew has Charlie Casserly and a bunch of people I've never heard of.

Kevin Kolb will launch the Eggles from the 24. Very solid pocket on first down and he hits DeSean Jackson with a nice quick slant pass over the middle that Jackson takes off with for 21. After two LeSean McCoy carries for 5, Kolb scrambles out of double-trouble on 3rd down and scrambles for 6. Kolb gets forever off a draw fake the next play and guns to Jeremy Maclin a l l a l o n e in the middle of the field for 30. After McCoy goes off right tackle for 4, Kolb's nearly picked off by Gerald Alexander on 2nd down and Brent Celek bobbles a rifle pass out the back of the end zone on third down. Very nice pace to the Eggle offense early, but it takes David Akers to put them on top. Eggles 3, Jagwires 0

David Garrard's first pass is batted back in his face by Brodrick Bunkley. Quick hitch to Mike Sims-Walker gets only a couple. The drive finishes with a short out to Marcedes Lewis three yards short of the first down. Lewis was coming back for that ball and NEVER would have gotten a first down out of it. Probably smart of the Jagwires to work on their passing game in the preseason. The early returns: They'd better be able to run.

Kolb gets the Eggles out of a 3rd-and-8 hole by stepping up and drilling Celek in the middle of the field at the 46, then out of a 3rd-and-10 hole by drilling Jackson at the Jagwire 28. McCoy then pounces up the middle for 8 more. That's followed by the 2010 debut of the Michael Vick Project. Vick rolls left and hits Celek in the flat down to the 14. Gene Steratore bogs down the Eggle momentum with a holding call. Jags make a key play to tip away an end zone pass to a wide-open Maclin and hold Philadelphia to another Akers boot. Eggles 6, Jagwires 0

Well-blocked kick return to the 44 for former SIU Saluki Deji Karim. Garrard and Maurice Jones-Drew appear to muff their first handoff and it loses 2. Garrard sidearms to MJD for 6. Sims-Walker fails to hang onto the third-down pass as the Jagwire passing game continues to sputter. Don't know how the Eggles managed not to block the punt; a guy came in clean. Jags make them regret it by downing the punt at the 1.

Kolb hits Jason Avant short and gets a gift from the referees on a poor slant pass well behind Maclin in the form of a DPI call on Rashean Mathis. So. On the field tonight, there's a DeSean, a LeSean, a Rashean, and a just-Sean (Considine, who broke up a pass earlier). McCoy fires up the middle for 10, and Jackson takes an end-around for 17 while being barely touched, thanks especially to a wicked juke on Anthony Smith. That ends the first quick first quarter this summer.

End of first quarter: Eggles 6, Jagwires 0.

Vick takes over at QB to start the 2nd and immediately hits Riley Cooper with a perfect 46-yard bomb inside the 10. Pat Shurmur doesn't even dream of calling that play, let alone seeing it run successfully by Rams players. A penalty dings the Eggles, followed by Scott Starks breaking up a pass, followed by Larry Hart just barely tripping Vick on a scramble attempt, which was big, because on 3rd and goal, Derrick Harvey sacks Vick, and as we see on replay after the commercial break, also batted the ball free backwards out of his throwing hand, creating a fumble that Smith scoops up and returns to the 44. I'm not a Vick fan, at all, but the Jagwires were on him in about two seconds there and Harvey made a heck of a nice play. I'm not sure Vick had time even to secure the ball better than he did.

Garrard strikes Mike Thomas over the middle at the Eggle 40 as the Jagwires not only keep the starters in but appear to have gone to a no-huddle offense. Next, though, a screen pass laughably far over the intended receiver's head, a flare for 7 and a slant pass laughably behind Sims-Walker. On 4th down, Sims-Walker fails to come up with a deep seam pass over his head around the 10. Marc Bulger drunk is a more accurate passer than David Garrard.

I spend the commercial break trying desperately not to fall in love with Eggles sideline reporter Jamie Apote, a younger, blonde Suzy Kolber with the husky voice happening and everything.

Vick drills Jordan Norwood near midfield for a first down. They really want to see him throw. Classic Vick play next - he sprints away from a corner blitz and fires one up the sideline, but not quite good enough for the receiver to keep his feet in bounds. Eldra Buckley is apparently RB2 in Philly but he isn't getting much of anywhere. Cooper is, though, beating a hold by William Middleton to make a catch inside the Jagwire 40. Vick then beats a blitz by swinging a pretty screen pass to Buckley, who's all alone and gets upfield for 16-17 more. That was the first screen pass this preseason I actually enjoyed watching. 8 more to Buckley, who is knocked woozy. Vick next actually tries to look downfield and ignore the dreaded developing bubble screen, but ends up firing a blank into the ground. Foiled on the stupid bubble screen, the Eggles then go to the stupid draw play, which the Jagwires dutifully stuff to send Akers out yet again. Eggles 9, Jagwires 0

That was a pretty damn impressive drive for Vick, but the Eggles staff better get their shit together in the red zone.

Luke McCown QBing now for the Jags. Rashad Jennings is the new tailback. After a penalty - w-o-w, Wow, McCown rolls right, ignores the stupid dumpoff option to the fullback and fires a beautiful deep ball down the sideline to Troy Williamson, who beat Joselio Hanson downfield by five yards despite an illegal contact penalty. 73-yard TD. Eggles 9, Jagwires 7

5:30 left till halftime for Vick, from his 35. He follows a pretty 8-yard pass to Kelley Washington with a poor pass behind a wide-open Cooper over the middle. He simply sprints out up the sideline for 10 and a first down. I imagine that was designed. Alexander burns the snot out of Don Carey up the far sideline several plays later for about a 35-yard DPI. Eggles at the 12 as Vick's mobility and cannon arm are having a vintage-Vick effect on the Jagwire 2nd-string D. Classic Vick the next play, too, as pressure and lack of open receivers lead him to bounce outside, sprint up the sideline, fake Reggie Nelson completely out of his jock, and walk in for the TD. Another wow for tonight's game. Eggles 16, Jagwires 7

Hey, there's Bobby April on the Eggles sideline. I'm sure they'll be leading the league in special teams in no time, since he's great anywhere EXCEPT SAINT LOUIS. McCown at the 21, 2:19 in the half. He drills Williamson running free in the Eggle zone for 28. 2:00 warning comes as Luke tries to show Michael Vick's not the only gunslinger in the house tonight.

Jags come out of the 2:00 drill with a SMOKE ROUTE the Eggles promptly swallow up, and they don't follow that with a timeout. Why are you f'ing around with passes that aren't downfield then? McCown follows with a dart to TE Zach Miller for about 20, then after Steratore's Penalty Special of the Day, illegal contact, he throws a deadly-beautiful TD pass to one John Matthews splitting the zone at the goal line for a 31-yard TD. McCown and Vick both look like they should be starting QBs based on this game. Eggles 16, Jagwires 14

41 seconds is probably plenty for Vick to get the Eggles another score. He sprints out of trouble for 18 across midfield. Timeout. Vick then does set up a score. For Jacksonville. He spins out of trouble and fires an unfortunate pass directly to Michael Coe, who returns the interception up the sideline to the Eggle 26. Sorry, but that's the bad Vick his backers always seem to forget you get along with the good Vick who made the cool sprintouts earlier.

What a stupid play to end the half by the Jagwires. With :08 to go, they call for a pass, McCown scrambles around forever, and lets the ball go out of bounds with no time left on the clock.

Except the Eggles even more stupidly kept the half alive with an illegal hands to the face penalty. Josh Scoby drills the FG, and the Jagwires win the first half.

End of first half: Jagwires 17, Eggles 16.

Saluki Karim, who has thighs more befitting a Saint Bernard, weaves through BOBBY APRIL'S SPECIAL TEAMS for a 68-yard kick return to open the 2nd half. The Jags then befuddle me completely with a SMOKE PASS and a LINE PLUNGE to generate 3rd-and-8. DT Boo Robinson spooks his way up the middle untouched to hit McCown, forcing a bad pass and a long Scoby FG. Jagwires 20, Eggles 16

Sideline kink, or the worst re-enactment of "8 1/2 Weeks" ever, sees the Eggles mascot feeding Jamie Apote chocolate ice cream on the sideline. I've got nothing.

Vick pilots the Eggles from the 31. Surprisingly, it's a 3-and-out as a DT gets to Vick in the pocket and knocks the ball out of his hand. Guess who did that.

DOOZER!

WHAT THE? NFL Network takes a huge skip here and is going to force me to do a lot of Audiopass recon during the week, jumping from 11:15 left in the quarter all the way to 3:38. Thanks for creating the extra work for me, guys.

Eggles have the ball again, at the Jag 42. Still 20-16, Vick still at QB. One Chad Hall attains light speed around the right corner and gets up the sideline for 22. Not so successful up the middle: no gain. 5-yard completion continues the Chad Hall show. Vick rolls left but fires far too deep for a receiver in the corner of the end zone. Akers survives a roughing penalty by Coe and hits yet another FG. Jagwires 20, Eggles 19

Jags coil to spring from their 33 but false start before the camera can even get back on the field. That has to be a first. Another brilliant pass by McCown, to well-covered TE Mike Caussin at the 45. LB Moise Fokou goes down behind the play like he's been shot, which can't be good. He's helped off the field with what I imagine is a significant ankle injury.

Great Caesar's Ghost, when did Luke McCown become Kurt Warner? Another freaking perfect TD bomb, to Tiquan Underwood for 55 yards, beating Geoffrey Pope downfield by almost 5 yards. Some of the Jag WRs are flashing lethal deep speed tonight, and McCown, who's been mediocre at best most of his NFL career, is stealing the show. Jagwires 27, Eggles 19

Vick has metamorphosed into Mike Kafka for the rest of the game. Martell Mallett gains 10 off left tackle to end the third quarter.

End of third quarter: Jagwires 27, Eggles 19.

Kafka opens the 4th with a deep pass well short of Jared Perry, a receiver I don't remember playing for Mizzou, but who did. The Jag DB interfered blatantly on the play, though, making the pass look worse than it really was and giving the Eggles a penalty gain all the way to the 24. Two plays later, Mallett hammers his way up the middle and down to the 4. Just for the record, I got that pun in before the Eggles announcers did. Mallett pounds his way in for the TD the next play. The Eggles wouldn't dare go for two, would they? You don't go for the tie in the 4th quarter of a preseason game.

ANDY REID, YOU FAT BASTARD, DAMN YOU TO HELL FOR DARING TO VIOLATE RULE #1 OF PRESEASON GAMES. Kafka's pass comes up short of Mallett in the flat anyway, and the Eggles have to settle for 6. Jagwires 27, Eggles 25.

No doubt Reid will throw apples at Kafka on the sidelines during the break. Maybe at BOBBY APRIL, too, whose SPECIAL TEAMS allow (Beam Me Up) Scotty McGee a kick return out to midfield.

A particularly inopportune edit by NFL Network here, as we go from the Jags with the ball at midfield before the commercial and come back from the commercial with Akers having kicked his fifth FG of the game to give the Eggles the lead. Eggles 28, Jagwires 27 from literally out of nowhere.

Jags at their 33 with 9:00 to play, averaging over 37 yards per kick return tonight against BOBBY APRIL'S SPECIAL TEAMS. New Jagwire QB is - Trevor Harris? Of Edinboro? So he's Scottish? Harris gets off to about as good a start as Chris Mortenson's kid did in Tennessee a couple of years ago. He loses a yard after bobbling a bad shotgun snap, then, under heavy pressure, fires a bad sideline pass that's picked off by Trevard Lindley, maybe. The refs will review if he stayed in bounds.

Huh, Trevard Lindley and Riley Cooper were two of the very worst players I saw watching Senior Bowl Week coverage. Both are Eggles and having pretty good games tonight. Interesting, captain...

Huh, NFL Network cut out a huge chunk of game play during this half but is making us sit through an especially long official review delay here...

Really? NFL Network couldn't have shown us how Philadelphia GOT WHAT RIGHT NOW IS THE FREAKING GAME-WINNING FG instead of making us sit through this?

Steratore gets the call right, Lindley didn't have control out of the ball when he went out of bounds. The Rams needed Steratore in Cleveland last night. So it's 3rd-and-9 now for the Jagwires. The best Harris can do is throw a 2-yard pass to Karim, who gains about 7 before being taken down.

Another trial for Kafka here from his 16 with about 8:00 left. He underthrows Hall deep down the near sideline, and Hall can't quite make the comeback catch. Mallett gets nailed after 2 yards, and Hart and the oddly-numbered Jeremy Navarre, a DE wearing #46, get to Kafka to force a blank on 3rd down.

Idiot Jag returner McGee lost NINE running backwards with the punt so they're at their 26 with 6:49 to play. Chad Kackert, a 4th-quarter-player-in-preseason name if I ever heard one, sweeps right for 2. Harris throws a deep wobbler over everybody, and on third down... good grief, I thought Fokou was crippled for life earlier; here he is back on the field, stuffing a TE pass for 2 yards, and then dancing all over the field afterward. So much for that injured ankle. He showed no sign of injury whatsoever.

Eggles try to wear out the clock from their 40 with 5:00 left. Mallett gets a big first down on two carries. 2:52 left, Dobson Collins drops a perfect slant pass from Kafka. Norwood comes up a yard short on a smoke route with 2:36 left. Jagwires call timeout. Eggles punt.

2:00 opportunity for Harris from his 20. He hits Caussin for 10, then Matthews for 4 on the far sideline as the 2:00 warning officially hits.

Ha! The Eggles broadcast gave Akers their Player of the Game award.

Keenan Clayton sacks Harris on 2nd-and-6, and the overmatched rookie QB has to flee the pocket on 3rd down and has to fall on the ball after having it stripped. 4th and long, 1:13 left. MATTHEWS DOESN'T RUN THE MOST CRITICAL ROUTE OF THE GAME DEEP ENOUGH, and the Jags get 8 on 4th-and-9 as his effort for the comeback catch takes him back across the first-down line. Victory formation for Kafka from there.

Final score: Eggles 28, Jagwires 27.

Player of the game: I have to go with Vick. Sure, he was playing against 2nd-stringers, and he had two bad turnovers, but he flashed so much of his old form in an 11-17-119, 50 yards on 6 carries and a TD performance, he made himself very hard to ignore the rest of this preseason.

What did we learn: Jacksonville's best QB is their second-stringer, McCown. Andy Reid's got Kolb ready to play, but from a FFL perspective, I'll stay away from him because of Vick's potential to vulture stats away from him. The Eggles seriously lack quality depth in their secondary.

Up next: Gawd, no, it's my least-favorite preseason rivalry to start the next tape: Tampa Bay vs. Miami. May the football gods see fit to spare me with a game that's even remotely watchable. These two together usually aren't.