Game 7: Chiefs 27, Big Dead 17

From Kansas City, it's installment #2 of the worst QB competition in the league: Kevin Kolb and John Skelton battling to see who can be the least-bad option behind center for the Big Dead. Of course, and oddly, I've already seen the Chiefs' second game, so probably not a ton of discussion on them here.

FIRST QUARTER
The man who took one of the most famous hits in the history of preseason, Trent Green, says at the top of the Chiefs broadcasts that one of the things the QBs look forward to in the first preseason game is... taking a hit. Yeah, just keep it above the knees, though, huh? If that wasn't enough of a reminder of August 1999, tonight's scoreboard sponsor: Hy-Vee.

And about 50 yards into KC's first drive, Green gets to report on a penalty on Dan Williams of the Big Dead for hitting Matt Cassel late, below the knees (though not very dirty). He does not mention August 1999, however.

The Chiefs put together a 7-minute, 70-yard drive their first possession and take a 7-0 lead. Their whole drive was exploitation of Sam Acho overplaying for pass rush. Several nice runs right through holes Acho left overpursuing. Chiefs ran well left and right, especially left, running at Acho and Calais Campbell. Arizona looked very vanilla other than Acho nearly getting to Cassel on an early stunt. Hillis scores the TD when Cassel calmly floats a pass over the madly-rushing Acho for a 12-yard TD. A neat play on that drive: 4th-and-1 across midfield, the Chiefs line up tight, then split into a 4-receiver, empty backfield set, then sneak Cassel up the middle for the first down when Arizona has to let up and account for the outside threats. Chiefs 7, Big Dead 0

John Skelton starts, looks calm in the pocket and hits Andre Roberts a couple of times, but good for only one first down before Derrick Johnson forces a punt by stuffing LaRod Stephens-Howling in the backfield on 3rd-and-1. Chiefs not very vanilla at the start, blitzing effectively and Arizona having a little early trouble with it.

Chiefs take barely three minutes to tack on their 2nd TD, and the Cardinals are just not an effective defense when they don't blitz, which they still haven't done, much against their regular-season character. Without the extra blitz pressure, the Cardinal D has no one winning 1-on-1 and no pocket push. They can't stop the short passing game or the play-action deep game. One of KC's big plays is a play-action bomb to Dexter McCluster for 35ish inside the 5. No pressure at all. Hillis set that up with a 28-yard run off right guard, and someone named "Shaun Draughn," which I bet is actually a made-up name, scored the 4-yard TD around right end. Both runs went through pitiful tackle attempts by Darryl Washington. Big Dead getting nothing from their front seven early, and the LBs are about invisible. Chiefs 14-0

And, just what the Cardinals need, a 3-and-out. Lyle Sendlein gets beaten badly for the second time run-blocking to start the drive off with another loss for LRSH. Skelton has enough time to unload on 3rd-and-11, but gets sacked when Adam Snyder fails to pick up Derrick Johnson red-dogging. The Cardinals, from one end of the roster to the other, are playing like a very soft team right now, one that's not going to win a lot of games.

Dream game for Cassel: two easy TD drives and the rest of the night off. Brady Quinn in as replacement. The main thing stopping the next drive was the replacement referees' failure to call a penalty for Adrian Wilson's dirty hit on Terrance Copper, launching into him when he was in a vulnerable position, clearly couldn't have caught the ball and clearly with plenty of time to pull up. Should have been 15. Chiefs continue to run successfully at Acho, though.

SECOND QUARTER
Skelton gets Arizona to midfield with a couple of completions to Larry Fitzgerald, but they go backward on a hold, then on 3rd-and-14, Skelton goes to the well once too often. Tamba Hali beats LT Levi Brown fairly easily to flush Skelton forward, and he looks for Fitzgerald again, deep and double-covered, and Abram Elam picks him off. Long return sets the Chiefs back up at the AZ37.

After a DPI of the "let 'em play" variety on William Gay puts the Chiefs inside the 5, the Cardinals do a couple of things for the first time all night. Their LBs finally show up as Wilson and Stewart Bradley stuff a run. Acho then stays home for the first time all night and blows up a Quinn bootleg. Great call by KC, but Acho finally did his job properly. O'Brien Schofield beats the backup RT with ease on a blitz and hits Quinn as he throws on 3rd down. Drive ends with a chip shot FG. Chiefs 17-0

Kevin Kolb enters the game behind the starting o-line, but not with the starting receivers. DeMarco Sampson goes 1-for-2 catching back-shoulder throws to get Arizona to midfield. Blitzing shuts Arizona down from there. Cameron Sheffield beats poor-blocking TE Rob Housler to sack Kolb and Kolb's flushed on third-and-long and has to fire out of bounds.

Strong running by Droughn and a completion to Steve "Saturday Night Fever" Maneri put the Chiefs quickly across midfield, but a hold on rookie Donald Stephenson bogs them down and forces a punt that splashes down in the end zone. Good thing they tried that stupid draw play on 3rd-and-12, huh? Why not try for about half of that and see what you can do in a 4th-and-6 situation, or try a long FG?

Kolb's earned a lot of criticism, but on this 4-and-punt drive, he's largely hurt because he's working with scrub receivers who can't get open. Jeremy Bridges gets beaten a couple of times for late pressures that force throwaways, but Kolb's not exactly throwing to Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin out there. Haven't seen or heard a peep out of Michael Floyd, btw; not sure why.

The Chiefs' 2:00 drive burns up after they get to midfield. Cardinal blitzing starts to throw off Quinn's timing, and he's rushed into throwing a high pass that goes through both of Devon Wylie's hands and is picked off by Rashad Johnson.

Hmm, maybe Ryan Lindley should be the Big Dead's starting QB. It takes him less than 30 seconds to get the Cardinals into FG position, with a couple of long completions to very big LaRon Byrd. Jay Feely puts Arizona on the board to end the half. Chiefs 17-3

Skelton earns the lead in the starting QB "battle" from this game, but it's not like Kolb had a level playing field.

THIRD QUARTER
Just an observation, and though we have a lot of well-earned doubts here in Rams Nation, from the two Chiefs games I've seen, the Rams' offensive line play is clearly better than Arizona's. That's been a problem in games between the Rams and Big Dead in recent years.

The Thin Man, William Powell, opens the second half by changing directions in a clogged-up backfield and sprinting away around left end for a 65-yard gain. Trent Green said the safety got sucked in there. A Lindley scramble keeps the Big Dead alive... wait a minute there... inside the 2. Powell ulitmately scores on a shotgun handoff on 4th-and-goal from the 5. The Chiefs did stop a couple of goal-line passes to Floyd. Chiefs 17-10

Maneri boogies for an initial first down after stealing a ball from Colin Parker, but Ronald Talley and others blow up the Chief backfield on 3rd-and-1 near midfield to force a punt. Scott Pioli visibly unhappy with that play in the broadcast booth. At least somebody's taking scrub-a-palooza seriously.

I'm no longer sure Lindley is. He fires three straight passes nowhere near his receivers, sometimes nowhere near anybody. Wylie gets a big seam to return the punt around left end, and gains another 15 on Floyd's blatant facemask penalty. Yes, the Cardinals have their first round pick defending punts. And poorly.

Pretty good field position for KC: the Big Dead 14. After Cyrus Gray pounds out 8 yards on 2 carries, the Chiefs, of course, pass, and Jamar Newsome can't stay in bounds with a slightly-overthrown fade pass from new QB Ricky Stanzi. Wisely working to prevent a tie, Romeo Crennel sends the FG team in, successfully. Chiefs 20-10

Powell gets most of the yards to get Arizona out to midfield before new QB Richard Bartel's protection has too many breakdowns. Jerrell Powe runs right over Scott Wedgie, um, Wedige, for a sack, then Bartel tries to scramble away from a safety blitz, flubs the ball away over his head while attempting to throw, and Donald Washington recovers the loose ball for KC. Refs originally ruled incomplete pass, but Crennel challenged and the call was overturned.

More good field position for Jeff Spicoli, er, Stanzi, just across midfield. Maneri ends the quarter with a 25-yard gain on a corner route. Stayin' alive, indeed.

FOURTH QUARTER

Stanzi scrambles down to the seven, then Cyrus Gray makes another of several nice runs he's made tonight, bolting right up the middle for the TD. Chiefs 27-10

Cardinals 3-and-out next, with Edgar Jones sacking Bartel on a Chiefs jail break on 3rd down.

Followed by a Chiefs three-and-out. Gray loses big yards after dropping a pitchout, and Stanzi overthrows a deep receiver by a mile on 3rd down.

Bartel hangs in the pocket well, hits Isaiah Williams for 25, gets John Skelton's brother Steve killed on a middle route, survives another fumble under pressure, and ultimately hits Jaymar Johnson over the middle for an 18-yard TD to complete a 60-yard drive. The TD didn't help Johnson; he didn't make the cutdown to 75. Chiefs 27-17

Gray continues to run well, but he's about the only functioning part of the Chief offense at this point in the game. Stanzi is 1-for-6. More 3-and-out "action".

If I hang my head in eternal shame for wanting the Rams to draft Mississippi tackle Bobby Massie, what about the draft "experts" like Charlie Casserly who thought the Rams should use a second-round pick on him? A blocking dummy would be  more effective at tackle than this guy, and he's going against players the Chiefs are going to cut. Massey gets whipped on a jailbreak on first down, gets Bartel sacked, downhill from there. On a second-down run play, he got knocked ten feet off the line. In two games, Massey hasn't even looked like a draftable talent, let alone a second-rounder.

Stanzi completes a pass to Jake O'Connell to get his passer rating up to probably 50. The Chiefs celebrate that by kneeling out the clock.

Final score: Chiefs 27, Big Dead 17

Postgame show:
What have we learned: Arizona's a completely different, and completely bad, defense when they don't blitz. Still, any team watching this game would be foolish not to run frequently at Sam Acho. Football games are won in the trenches. The Rams are as good or better on both lines than Arizona, and run an offense like the one the Chiefs carved the Big Dead up with in this game. This is still a team the Rams can beat. The Cardinal o-line is downright soft in the middle, and they have no quality depth. They will look better when Skelton's settled in as the likely starter, Fitzgerald's on the field every play and their RBs are healthy. But this is a very flawed team that didn't do a good job addressing its problems in the offseason. The real Chiefs are closer to the team that played Arizona than the one that played the Rams. They committed to the run more, but mixed runs and passes very well, and were not vanilla on defense. AFC West should be a four-team dogfight this year.

Player of the game: goes to Peyton Hillis for scoring the first TD and having the big run that led to the second. Plus, I can't give every POTG to a QB this season, sorry, Matt Cassel. Also, kudos to Chiefs OC Brian Daboll for a very well-called game.

Up next: Rams-Cowboys week 3, then I'll circle back to the NFC West week 2 action with 49ers-Texans.

-$-

Game 6: Seahawks 27, Titans 17

I'll be honest; I don't remember where we last left off with either one of these teams. I do know the old rule of thumb that when you're like Tennessee and you have two starting quarterbacks, you really don't have any. So where the hell does that leave Seattle? They came into camp with three starting QBs. I guess what they have now is negative-one quarterbacks, then?

FIRST QUARTER
While we're waiting for the stupid Texans-Panthers game to never end, the game in Seattle starts off with a bang: Nate Washington dives but bobbles a poor out pass away to Brandon Browner, who returns the gift for a pick-six. Yeah, not really a flying start for the Titans. Seahawks 7, Titans 0

We're now watching the stupid Texans-Panthers game to have its second review in about ten seconds. NFL Network, there's 1:38 left, Houston is up 13 and will probably keep the ball... switch the game.

Houston is just running the ball up the middle, NFL Network... switch the game. Glad I'm not a Seattle or Tennessee fan here.

Houston is kneeling the game out, NFL Network... Switch. The. Game!

No, we get every precious second of a game that was over for the fifteen minutes it was on and pre-empting another game just starting. Thanks, NFL Network!

Ehh, nothing really happened anyway. Chris Johnson ran all over the place for 8 and Washington caught a first down, but two screen passes fail after that to force the punt. Red Bryant broke up the first and Johnson brutally dropped the second.

Matt Flynn starts for Seattle. Ha, we miss a first down while NFL Network has technical difficulties. Hold the Skittles tonight, but Seattle won't need Marshawn Lynch the way Leon Washington is running. 3 carries for 26 early, 9 after a strong blitz pickup by Michael Robinson. Rocked-up Robert Turbin also gets some action, with Flynn completing nothing but short, quick stuff. When Seattle makes the red zone, the Titans stiffen up, and Carl Klug bull-rushed LG Breno Giacomini for a coverage sack of Flynn to force a Steven Hauschka FG. Seahawks 10, Titans 0

Kam Chancellor stuffs Johnson for 2 but gets beat by Jared Cook for 18 on a crossfield route. Two completions to Washington get Tennessee across midfield even though it looked like he bobbled the first one while going out of bounds. A no-doubt motivated Jason Jones draws one of the more obvious holds this preseason, so obvious this year's replacement refs even call it. Matt Hasselbeck tries to bomb away from midfield, but Wright isn't remotely open and Richard Sherman picks the pass off inside the 10.

SECOND QUARTER
Flynn fires a nice sideline pass to Zach Miller for 9, and Turbin dances and drives up the middle for 5. Rollout pass to Miller gains 14 more but may be the play where Miller suffered his concussion. Flynn seems to have Ben Obamanu wide open the next play, but underthrows and gets picked off by Colin McCarthy. Titans in business at the SEA32.

Hasselbeck's reunion appearance in Seattle is over; now it's Jake Locker's turn. Safety Chris Maragos stuffs Johnson for a loss, then what is most certainly an intended flanker option pass with Latrell Hawkins is blown up by Mike Morgan for a 10-yard loss. Seems like he should get a sack for that. Johnson drops yet another screen pass to force the punt and tumble down my early fantasy football draft projections. That's mainly Titan starters looking dysfunctional against Seattle's second unit defense.

Flynn's apparently going to get the entire first half, but the last 10:00 is going to be with the #2 offense. Former Rams update: that #2 offense includes Alex Barron at right tackle. Seattle gets one first down before Klug swoops in on Turbin for a big loss, and Jones smokes, yes, Barron for a sack of Flynn, though the center appeared to snap the ball early and Flynn had to fall on it to avoid losing it.

Locker guns to Wright for a quick 15 across midfield. Damian Williams makes a tough catch on 1st down but can't duplicate it on 3rd down. Tennessee goes for it on 4th-and-4, but Locker overthrows Williams on an out route to turn the ball over.

Flynn has plenty of time on first down but still gets sacked by Zach Clayton, so thing #1 to note about Matt Flynn as a starting QB is: he's not real smart about getting rid of the ball. Turbin gets a lot back with a run around left end but Anthony McCoy ends the drive at midfield with a bad drop.

5:00 till halftime, Titans at their own 6. Javon Ringer gets them out of the hole with a 20-yard run through a huge hole created by overpursuit by LBs Malcolm Smith and Bobby Wagner. Locker steps up in the pocket and hits Wright for 13. Nice completion to Marc Mariani across midfield at the 2:00 warning, with rookie Bruce Irvin generating no pass pressure working against Mike Otto. Locker has looked very composed tonight. Locker beats a blitz with a quick screen to Ringer, who had lined up wide left, and that gains 11. Locker steps up out of pressure from Irvin and hits Wright down to the SEA16. Edge rush flushes Locker again and he fires at Taylor Thompson's feet in the end zone on 2nd down, and Clinton McDonald swats down a pass on 3rd down to force a Rob Bironas FG. Seahawks 10, Titans 3 Irvin hasn't gotten a hand on the QB yet, but is pretty consistently beating Otto and breaking down the pocket using his speed, bookending Dexter Davis on the right side.

Seattle doesn't try to do anything in the final 0:25 and we go to halftime.

THIRD QUARTER
Is Russell Wilson getting the whole second half for Seattle? Maybe they have only two QBs after all. That is to say, none. (Tennessee, btw, looks like they have one QB: Locker.) After one drive, though, we may have a QB controversy in Seattle. Wilson keeps the drive alive a couple of times with completions after scrambling out of trouble, and gets the Seahawks a quick TD with a 39-yard TD pass to Braylon Edwards, who wins a jump ball with Tommie Campbell. Seahawks 17, Titans 3

Former Rams update: Leger "DOOZER" Douzable rotating in at DT for the Titans that last drive.

New Titans backfield is Rusty Smith and Jamie Harper. Harper proves hard to tackle on 3 carries that cover about 20 yards, which loosens up the Seattle defense for Smith to bomb to Mariani, beating double coverage for 40. Perfect throw by Smith. Super edge blocking by TE Cameron Graham and someone named Byron Stingily spring Darius Reynaud for a 21-yard TD run around left end. Seahawks 17, Titans 10

Please tell me that was - YES IT WAS - FALSE START, ALEX BARRON. And, viva preseason, the left tackle jumps two plays later. Wilson runs out of magic and can only scramble for a few on 3rd-and-long.

Reynaud makes a major push for player of the game with an 84-yard punt return, to the boos of those great Seattle fans. Tennessee did an excellent job picking off the gunners and sealed the edge nicely, with Seattle's interior coverage showing no speed whatsoever to get outside after him before he hit the edge. Seahawks 17, Titans 17

Wilson gets the Seahawks moving again with a couple of completions, both from the pocket and from his usual situation, on the run. He then electrifies the crowd with a 20-yard scramble, undressing fellow rookie Zack Brown at midfield. Titans pressure, and a block-in-the-back penalty on Edwards at the end of the scramble, limit the damage from there.

FOURTH QUARTER
Big 3-and-out for Seattle with Tennessee pinned at their goal line. They stuff Harper, sack Smith after he holds the ball far too long waiting for deep routes to develop, the crowd draws a false start, and Seattle nearly stuffs the 3rd-and-long we-surrender handoff for a safety. Terrible punt barely even makes the 30, so Seattle's already in FG position to start their next drive.

Tyrell Sutton doesn't get the Seahawks much of anywhere in three touches, so with that golden field position, they settle for another Hauschka chippie. Seahawks 20, Titans 17

Taylor Thompson, a defensive end pretending to be a tight end, gets stripped by Heath Farwell on Tennessee's next play. The turnover sets the Seahawks up at the 12-yard line.

Where Wilson throws a bad interception in the end zone the next play. Viva preseason! Former Ram update: interception by Zac Diles. So, the Titans actually gained a couple of yards on that exchange.

OK, so who is the Connie Britton-on-steroids they have co-hosting "NFL A.M.?" And why do they have her posing like a body builder on all of her stand-ups?

Titans go nowhere fast until Smith beats a 3rd-and-long blitz and hits Thompson out to the 35. Smith beats another blitz to hit James Kirkendoll at midfield. James T. Kirkendoll? Herb Donaldson churns out a determined 7-yard run and adds another 20 on a backside screen to put the Titans at the SEA31. DPI on Jeremy Lane moves them down to the 14, but Seattle goes into shutdown mode there. Greg Scruggs blows up Kyle Devan to trip up Reynaud for a 4-yard loss, and put too much pressure on Smith for him to get anything done from there. Mike Munchak then UNCONSCIONABLY goes for the tying FG in preseason with under 5:00 left, and pays for it karmically as backup kicker Will Batson misses the chip shot wide right. Never settle for less than the best, kids. Also: Will Batson, appearing on a waiver wire near you very soon.

Kregg Lumpkin helps Seattle burn 2 minutes with a 10-yard run and an elusive run with a dumpoff pass for 15 before Munchak starts expending his timeouts. Seattle's across the TEN40 quickly, and a 3rd-and-2 with 2:30 left will likely decide the game here. Nifty call by Seattle, running the bootleg screen the Rams worked a couple of times against Kansas City. Faked a run left, rolled Wilson right and he hit Sean McGrath for the first down. 2nd-and-8 at the 2:00 warning.

And it's over. With Tennessee stuffing nine in the box and screaming blitz to boot, Seattle fakes a run right, Wilson bootlegs left and files almost all alone down the sideline for a 32-yard TD. Good downfield block by WR Charly Martin to make the TD a sure thing. Seattle 27, Tennessee 17

The Titans actually change QBs for the final 2:00, to Nick Stephens, but can only make it to midfield before time expires.

Postgame show:
What have we learned:
Well, what we haven't learned is who Seattle's starting QB is going to be. Wilson's solid performance, and Pete Carroll's curious refusal to commit to his $20 million QB, have left that door open. The running game will start the season in flux, too, with Lynch likely to be suspended at some point. Washington looked like he can do the job. When you saw Turbin at the Combine, he looked like the Incredible Hulk, but I don't think I saw him break a single tackle tonight, so Hulk smash, not so much. WR's in flux, too. Seattle's offense is all fluxed up. A lot of moving pieces still to come together. Can't say I saw any defensive weaknesses. They stuffed the run and their secondary made plays. I've learned who I think Tennessee's starting QB should be, and it's Jake Locker. Hasselbeck was dysfunctional out there, and took Chris Johnson down with him. In fact, Johnson looks like a hot mess right now, and I think the Titans have to go to the mobile Locker so defenses can't continue to key on Johnson.

Player of the game:
Anything that keeps QB controversies alive in our division is fine by me, so it's Wilson, who threw for a TD, ran for a TD and had 180+ yards total offense.

Up next:
Probably the Chiefs' preseason opener against the Big Dead. That'll be the last Week 1 game I do, assuming I even get that far. Hey, I'm doing better than last year.

-$-

Game 5: Rams 31, Chiefs 17

Full report - ramview.com

Postgame report:
What have we learned: Best sometimes not to make too much of one preseason game, i.e. the Rams' last week. They were noticeably sharper on both sides of the ball this week. Sam Bradford and Steven Jackson were at the tops of their respective games and the offensive line run-blocks well. Jury is still out on pass-blocking. Defense impressed with sacks and forced turnovers but still has some leaks to plug in coverage, especially the safeties. The Chiefs will be run-heavier in the regular season, and didn't have Dwayne Bowe, so it's hard to draw a bead on them just yet. Jamaal Charles looks quick again, Peyton Hillis is a load, and Tamba Hali is a grown-ass man.

Player of the game: 
Several worthy candidates, but it's going to Bradford. Of all the players, Rams Nation needed him to have a good game the most, and he certainly did, with over 100 yards passing, 2 TDs and a passer rating over 140 in just over a quarter of work.

Up next:
Still shooting for Titans-Seahawks from week 1 this afternoon.

-$- 

Game 4: 49ers 17, Vikings 6

When we last left the San Francisco 49ers, they were a botched punt return from Super Bowl XLVI, and they're now supposedly the NFC favorite to go to Super Bowl XLVII, even in a conference that has the Packers, Saints and the team that ended their season in January, you know, the world champions? Not like they appear to have a ton of competition in the division, though. When we last left the Minnesota Vikings, they had a lot in common with the Rams. Strong defensive line, Pro Bowl running back toiling for a terrible team, young QB struggling with bad receivers behind a bad defensive line. The NFL did a good job last year establishing that as the formula for going 2-14 or 3-13. Let's see if the Vikings change that formula faster than the Rams.

FIRST QUARTER
Well, that's an unexpected start. Carlos Rogers and Dashon Goldson get confused in coverage on the second play of the game, and West Texas A&M's Stephen Burton gets behind Rogers for a 52-yard bomb from Christian Ponder. Should have been a TD but the ball was underthrown. Only gets the Vikes a 39-yard Blair Walsh FG, though. Jerome Simpson drops a pass while wide open on a drag route and Aldon Smith smokes the crap out of rookie Matt Kalil to flush Ponder on 3rd-and-7. Vikings fans have to be hoping for a lot more from Kalil than that weak effort. Vikings 3, 49ers 0

Kendall Hunter starts for the 49ers and bangs off RG for 4, but is topped by Rock Cartwright, who rolls for almost 20 over the left side thanks to a crushing block by fullback Bruce Miller. That is how a fullback should block, completely wiping out the DB coming in off the edge. That same play is routinely a 2-yard loss for the Rams. 3rd-and-5 a couple of plays later, the Vikings blitz over RT, and Brian Robison has little trouble beating center Jonathan Goodwin to flush Alex Smith, who comes up a yard short on the scramble. They're near midfield, though, so Jim Harbaugh decides to go for it on 4th-and-1, and Brandon Jacobs chugs up the middle for 2. Goodwin pancakes his man to give Jacobs a pretty easy hole to hit. Hunter bails Anthony Davis out of a false start by taking a shotgun handoff around left end for almost 15. More good fullback play sees Anthony Dixon take the RDE out of the play with a solid block. And Jacobs adds another 22 over the right side after another big block by Miller. 49ers in the red zone.After a timeout, Alex Smith barely gets a screen off to Hunter, who gets inside the 10. 49ers pound it a couple of times and then catch the Vikings off-guard with a fade pass to Brett Swain, who ran an excellent route, for the TD. Randy Moss briefly got in the game but they didn't really need him. 49ers 7, Vikings 3

The 49ers appear to have picked up right from where they left off last year. Physical, punishing football. Winning football.


The Vikings cross midfield on the strength of Toby Gerhart running behind Kalil and Ponder getting enough time to hit Kyle Rudolph and Mike Jenkins underneath for first downs. Ponder's tackles are giving him a solid pocket, blitzes are getting picked up well, and the Vikings' OC is dialing up some nice plays, like a student-body right on 3rd-and-6 that caught the 49ers blitzing from the opposite side and gained 16 for Gerhart down to the SF12. All stuff the Rams can do. On paper.

SECOND QUARTER
Minnesota can't get a first down from there, though. Rogers blankets a receiver on 2nd down and Jenkins drops a pass inside the 5 on 3rd down. Vikings need to trust their running game a little more. 49ers 7, Vikings 6

San Francisco goes no-huddle their next possession, and, holy crap. New QB Colin Kaepernick's option fake sucks LDE Nick Reed and the OLB in like a jet engine pulling in an unsuspecting bird, and speaking of jets, Kaepernick puts them on, tears through that big hole Reed and the overpursuing Vikings left, and outruns Chris Cook like he's Craig Dahl for a 78-yard TD. Colin Kaepernick is a scary athlete, and that was a sick play. 49ers 14, Vikings 6

New Vikings backfield is Joe Webb and Lex Hilliard. 49ers also go 2nd-string, and it's a 3-and-out win for the defense. Former Ram update: Larry Grant stuffs Hilliard. Good edge pressure forces a Webb scramble on 2nd down and a poor pass on 3rd. Parys Haralson on 2nd down, and Demarcus Dobbs on 3rd down. Continuing the "vintage Harbaugh" theme, Kyle Williams returns the punt 22 yards to the MIN40.

Aldon Smith was reported as being wheeled off the field with a hip injury. The cart is used a lot more liberally in preseason, though, so that's not necessarily serious. Harbaugh decides to start practicing screen passes now. Kaepernick can't unload on the first and is sacked by Fred Evans. Just 4 yards on 2nd-16, then he nearly gets picked off by Zachary Bowman after throwing into double-coverage. Intended receiver was former Illini A.J. Jenkins. Andy Lee's punt - vintage Lee - vintage Harbaugh - downed at the 4.

Webb scrambles out of trouble in the end zone and hits Rhett Ellison at the 15, but that's Minnesota's only first down of the drive. Not much happening with two handoffs to Hilliard - so much for my "trust the running game" advice - and Dobbs and Eric Bakhtiari get enough pressure on 3rd down to force a bad Webb overthrow.

Niners start at their 42. After a play-action rollout screen to Kyle Williams for 7, solid blocking by rookie TEs Garrett Celek and Konrad Reuland help Jacobs get an easy five on 3rd-and-short. I swear there are trees in the Bay area that grow blocking TEs, and the 49ers pick them all. Rookie Harrison Smith blows up a Kyle Williams end-around, but that doesn't hold up after Kaepernick scrambles away from a blitz on 3rd-and-6. Kaepernick rolls again and rifles to AJ Jenkins at the 19 for a gain of 16. The Vikings keep the blitz dial set to 11, though, and get the 49ers off the field after Jenkins drops a tough one and Nathan Palmer's catch over the middle is well short. If you want to get snarky and say settling for the FG is also vintage Harbaugh, feel free. Sure as hell seems to be working. 49ers 17, Vikings 6

2:00 to halftime. LT Kevin Murphy passes Dobbs off to - nobody and forces a wild Webb throwaway. Chris Culliver gets too handsy with Kerry Thomas the next play. Haralson comes in completely unblocked to make Webb run for his life again. Vikings 2nd o-line missing all kinds of assignments right now. They try a safe screen, but Perrish Cox blows that up for a loss with a sweet open-field tackle. 3rd-and-8, the 49ers blitz up the middle and both Haralson and Dobbs beat their men badly, leaving Webb nowhere to go. Haralson and Ricky Jean-Francois split the sack, and the 49ers will get the ball back with 1:00 to go.

49ers start their hurry-up with a handoff to LaMichael James around left end for 11. James and Kaepernick appear to blow the next handoff, which Kaepernick keeps for short gain around left end. After an incompletion for a well-covered Jenkins, Rock Cartwright takes advantage of more amateurish overpursuit by Reed to convert on 3rd-and-7. Also, I'm not sure Tyrone McKenzie can tackle anyone. Not enough time left in the half, though; Kaepernick can't find a deep option on the last play and takes the dumpoff.

THIRD QUARTER

Scott Tolzien the new San Francisco QB to start the half. He scrambles for one first down; Rock Cartwright dives for another. Tolzien's come in firing fastballs, too, drilling Celek at midfield. Joe Looney then completely misses an assignment, letting Marvin Mitchell strike Cartwright untouched for a 6-yard loss on an attempted shotgun handoff. Vikings blitz again, but Tolzien fires a nice pass, but Palmer BRUTALLY DROPS IT to end the drive.

Grant's very active the next drive, with a near pick-six of a bad Webb screen, a tackle I'd thought prevented a 1st down, and another pass dropped in front of him. First half redux on 3rd-and-long, Dobbs and Bakhtiari badly beat the Viking tackles and flush Webb for a throwaway.

Preseason mode goes into full effect now. No one blocks Audie Cole on a dog blitz for a big loss, then the 49ers false-start twice, once by Looney, and dumpoffs to Reuland follow. I thought Looney was supposed to be good; he's been pretty much crap so far in this game.

After Drew Coleman runs twice for 10 yards, the Vikings decide it's time to throw again, with little result. Webb continues to get consistent pressure and the 49ers continue to cover everything downfield, not that the Vikings receivers are very good.

After the punt, Tolzien quickly gets the 49ers to midfield with completions to Chris Owusu and Brian Tyms.
FOURTH QUARTER
A couple more nice passes, to Palmer and Owusu on the sideline, get the 49ers inside the 15. Another quick out to Palmer at the 10. Tolzien is getting the ball out quickly and throwing it with velocity. It is a night and day difference from his play in San Diego last summer, where he looked like a basket case. All Tolzien fails to do is close the deal. Anthony Jacobs blows up a screen to Cartwright for a loss (with announcer Tim Ryan saying Reuland was all alone in the end zone), and Reed, now at RDE, whips Mike Person with a spin move and hits Tolzien as he throws, leading to a shot-put-like throw easily intercepted by Solomon Elimimian.

New Minnesota QB is McLeod Bethel-Thompson, whose last name doesn't actually fit on the back of his jersey. He overcomes walking right into a Bakhtiari sack with two completions to Taylor to make midfield, then another to TE Allen Reisner inside the SF35. Bakhtiari collects his second sack of the drive, whipping Levi Horn, to push Minnesota well out of FG position, though, and Jarius Wright loses a low pass while sliding to bring the punt team back out.

Josh Johnson QBing the 49ers now, though he's backed up on his goal line. The Vikings let him largely off the hook, though. Dixon gains 10 on 3rd-and-9 from the 2, which is inexcusable, then Johnson gets the Niners out to midfield with rollout passes to Ben Hannula, who is listed as a DB, and others. Vikings finally shut it down with a 3rd-and-9 blitz as Dixon runs into Johnson and can't pick up Tydreke Powell. No points, but the drive took at least six minutes off the clock. Yep, vintage Harbaugh.

Vikings at their 20 with 2:45 to go.

49ers inside the Vikings 30 with 2:38 to go after Cox picks off a terrible throw by Bethel-Thompson. Dixon sweeps left down to the 20 and Johnson bootlegs for a first down. Dixon then rumbles down to about the 2 off of outstanding blocks by fullback Cameron Bell, another blocking back that apparently pops up around 49ers camp like weeds, and Reuland, who seemed to drive the whole Viking line back. Whoever's coaching and scouting fullbacks and tight ends for the 49ers sure knows what they're doing. Demarcus Dobbs is actually in the game now as an extra tight end in the goal line offense, but Jim Harbaugh shows he's a much better friend to Vikings coach Leslie Frazier than brother John claimed to be with Steve Spagnuolo last year and kneels on the ball. Or, maybe Eddie DeBartolo Jr. had the over or the Vikings +13.

Final score: 49ers 17, Vikings 6

Post game show
What have we learned: The script hasn't changed much in San Francisco, and neither have the results. Win the field position battle, win on special teams, take care of the ball and beat the snot out of the opposing defense with the best-blocked running game in the league. They're going to win a lot of games. The Vikings had a little success against their starting defense, though, which may bear watching as preseason continues. Minnesota's offense looks a little ahead of the Rams', I'm sorry to say. They're running the ball well. They're similarly lacking talent at WR but manage to move the ball. The o-line run-blocked well, struggled some with the blitz. The Rams will need to look for a lot of blitzing when they play the Vikings in December.

Player of the game: I know Kaepernick had the electrifying play of the game, but POTG here, on behalf of the 49er's million-and-six blocking tight ends and fullbacks that all do their jobs well, goes to Bruce Miller, who had several key blocks while the 49ers rang up all the points they'd need. Teams would be smart to give a look to Nate Byham, a blocking TE the 49ers just cut. Even if he was their #6 blocking TE, he'd be #1 for a lot of teams.

Up next: I've got Rams-Chiefs in a couple of hours. My ambitious agenda for tomorrow is to get the week 1 Seahawks-Titans and Big Dead-Chiefs games in, which will probably wrap up week 1 for me. Yes, I know week 2 has already started.

-$-

Game 3: Chargers 21, Packers 13

Photo - ESPN

When we last left the Green Bay Packers, they were ruining a 15-1 regular season with an epic playoff choke against the now-world champion Giants. When we last left the San Diego Chargers, Philip Rivers had turned into an interception machine, and since then, has lost his #1 receiver, who A.J. Smith has replaced with New Orleans' #3 WR from last season. Lots of luck with that, San Diego.

Have I ever mentioned that the Chargers have really, really hot cheerleaders?


FIRST QUARTER
Gaa, no Suzy Kolber this year? Tonight's ground-breaking female official doesn't make up for that. San Diego cheerleaders, however...

Nick Perry abuses Jeromey Clary for a sack of Rivers, then gets flagged by the replacement referee for... flexing his muscles? Wow, you'd think it'd take more than the first series of downs to make us wish Jerome Boger was back... After that 15-yard gift, Rivers beats a blitz with a dumpoff to Ronnie Brown to get to midfield. Davon House blankets Malcom Floyd, who has a brother named Malcolm, on 3rd-and-3 to get the Chargers off the field.

Aaron Rodgers and the Pack have to start from their own 3 after the punt, though. Rodgers hits Tom Crabtree and James Jones for first downs, but James Starks on this drive: 2 carries, five yards, a dropped pass and a fumble, recovered by former Packer Atari Bigby. Good thing the Packers stood pat at RB over the winter, eh? Cadillac Williams, call your agent!

The Chargers strike quickly after the fumble with a 2-play drive. Antonio Gates head-fakes LB D.J. Smith in, then fakes safety M.D. Jennings out, for an easy 23-yard TD, catching a perfect throw from Rivers. Chargers 7, Packers 0

Picking up where they left off in January, the Packers continue to kill themselves with turnovers. Diondre Borel loses the ensuing kickoff after a big hit from Shareece Wright. Chargers set up again right around the red zone.

And picking off where he left off last year, Rivers throws a terrible interception to Tramon Williams, who easily had position over Meachem on the play. Why the hell is Rivers trying to force that throw?

Three-and-out for Rodgers, with the Chargers taking a screen pass away from him on 1st down and covering everyone on 3rd down.

After the punt, a one-and-out for the Chargers, courtesy of a fumble by Freebird Michael Hayes. To call this game kinda sloppy would be like calling Kate Upton kinda cute. Viva preseason!

The Packers take over at the SD42, but Chargers first-round pick Melvin Ingram takes over. After a couple more two-yard efforts by Starks, Ingram draws a hold on 3rd down. Norv Turner declines the penalty to force 4th-and-2, so Mike McCarthy gets cute and goes for it. Ingram, though, hits Rodgers on 4th down and forces a poor throw that Antoine Cason intercepts. Ingram also wipes Starks out during Cason's return. Fifth turnover this quarter.

Jarrett Lee now in for Rivers. Thought he looked good in some of the college all-star action. Here, though, the Chargers are 3-and-out. A Packer blitz blew up a 2nd-down screen, and Lee settled for a short pass on 3rd. The aptly-named Shaky Smithson nearly muffs the punt away for Green Bay.

Graham Harrell now in for Rodgers. He enters the game with a lot to prove, and after a poor 3-and-out, still has a lot to prove, missing Smithson badly on 2nd down and throwing poorly behind Borel on 3rd. All short stuff, little excuse not to be more accurate. Shaun Phillips stuffed a run to start the series.

Nice rollout pass from Lee to Vincent Brown sets the Chargers up across midfield. Hayes gets stuffed off left tackle to end the quarter.

SECOND QUARTER
Packers 2nd-round pick Jerel Worthy blows up a Hayes run on 2nd down. The Chargers hold on 3rd down, taking back another nice sideline pass, from Lee to rookie Taylor Embree. Chargers give up with a dumpoff on 3rd-and-long and punt. I'd say who committed the hold if tonight's replacement referees had much interest in giving us the number of the player they flagged. 

Neither team is doing anything on the ground. Starks probably had 2 yards a carry; Freebird Hayes is lucky if he's averaging 1 right now. And this Packer drive starts with Alex Green getting stuffed off LT. Harrell finally throws an accurate pass on 2nd down, but badly overthrows D.J. Williams on a 3rd-down go route. I'd say what the whole Graham Harrell experience says about trusting college spread offense QBs, but Sam Bradford might hear me.


Lee gets an initial first down starting from his 20 with another nice sideline throw, to Dante Rosario. Lee clearly has the arm to make all the throws. Much like the Rams' own Austin Davis, I'm not sure why the heck this kid wasn't drafted. Curtis Brinkley for 7 on a counter run that counts as a breakaway run so far tonight, but House gets him back on 2nd down by flashing into the backfield for a big loss, eluding Vincent Brown's half-assed block attempt. Lee, though, stands tall in the pocket and fires to Micheal Spurlock, who wheels away from Jarrett Bush's poor overrun all the way down to the GB20. The play's good for 45, and Lee's play should be opening eyes around the league at this point. No long play in preseason is complete without the offense having to call timeout because they can't get the play in, so we get one of those. Spurlock's big play only sets up a FG, though. Casey Hayward breaks up a pass on 2nd down and Lee misses Embree on 3rd.

Make that a FG attempt. Nick Novak, who's got enough experience to do better, doinks a 35-yard chip shot off the upright. Sigh. Viva preseason.

Harrell continues to look terrible, missing Randall Cobb badly over the middle and missing a sideline pass before getting blitzed into a no-gain dumpoff.

Brinkley's the first RB tonight to actually offer his team some running game. Worthy needs to step up his run defense for the Packers; at the moment he seems much more interested in pass rush, where he has looked effective. But now, another big play for Lee, for 36 down the sideline for Vincent Brown, who beat Hayward. Hayward closed and made it close, but not in time. Chargers back in the red zone, and then back out after a hold on Mario Henderson. Lee doesn't let that kill the drive, though, firing to Brown wide open over the middle at the 5. He dances his way into the end zone through a bunch of bad tackling for the Chargers' 2nd TD. 28-yard TD. Think that was Jerron McMillian who blew the tackle at the 5, but a couple of other Packer DBs also blew tackles. Jon Gruden and ESPN do a nice job showing how the route combination created LB Dezmon Moses' blown coverage on the play. Chargers 14, Packers 0

After one more poor throw, Harrell makes a play for the first time tonight, hitting Borel over the middle for 27 on 3rd-and-5. Looked like a good time for San Diego to blitz to me, but it didn't pay off. Packers in Charger territory at the 2:00 warning. 9 more to Borel at the SD 27. See? It just takes Harrell a quarter-plus to settle down. Cobb burns Shareece Wright off the snap and takes a slant down to the 5. Ingram, who's had an excellent half, appears to blow up the pocket to set Larry English up for a sack but gets flagged for illegal hands to the face instead. Mike Tirico complains that the replacement ref called Ingram for illegal hands to the face. Well, he only had his hand illegally in his opponent's face, so... If that's the non-call Tirico says it is, I guess I have to wonder about the regular referees now. Hayward can't fight his way through crossing routes to catch up with Cobb, who gets the TD on a goal-line flare. Chargers 14, Packers 7

Good point by Tirico that when Harrell finally looked comfortable, it was when he was in the 2:00 offense. That's all he ever played in college. Bad point by Gruden that Ingram's penalty supposedly kept the TD drive alive. Really? It cost the Chargers 2-3 yards on first-and-goal. And if the sack had counted, it's still 2nd-and-goal at the 10. I'd hardly describe that as a costly penalty. Halftime.

THIRD QUARTER
Harrell opens the second half by overthrowing Jarrett Boykin badly on a play-action bomb that should have been a TD. Somebody named - get this one - Curenski Gilleylen badly blows a third-down catch for the 3-and-out, which serves the terrible Harrell right for blowing the certain TD on first down. And what the f**k kind of name is Curenski Gilleylen?

Chargers get a little going on the ground with Freebird Hayes and Curtis Brinkley, but Lee must have left his game in the locker room at halftime, blowing a snap and underthrowing a deep pass terribly for an easy Anthony Levine interception. Does that make six turnovers, or only five? In all the lack of excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.

Wendell Tyler's son, Marc, enters the game for the first time for Green Bay and gets stuffed for a yard. Great pressure by Vaughn Martin forces Harrell to eat the ball and take a sack from a couple of different Chargers. Rookie Kendall Reyes is all over Harrell on 3rd down to force a very meaningless completion.

Back in the free agency previews on the RamView blog, I said Erik Walden makes a play everytime I watch the Packers, and he does it here again, jacking Lee up on 2nd down to force his pass attempt to fly wildly off to the right. And, shocker, screen pass on third-and-long in preseason doesn't get the first.

No Packer blocks LB Darryl Gamble on 1st down, leading Tyler to get stuffed for another loss. Then he runs smack into Reyes for another loss. Harrell miserably one-hops a slant to Dale Moss that would have been six yards short anyway.

I was disappointed the Rams didn't take a late-round flyer on Graham Harrell when he came out. I thought he could have been drafted as high as the fourth round by somebody.

I'm an idiot. Graham Harrell isn't good enough to make a UFL roster.

Even more depressingly for Green Bay, House gets injured on the billionth punt of the quarter. He walks off, though.

Former Ram update: Daniel Muir flattens Rock Baker on a screen pass that was poorly thrown by Lee anyway, and helps stuff Jackie Battle on a draw. Already more plays than he made in a Rams uniform! 3-yard pass to Brinkley on 3rd-and-10. Preeeeeeeeeseason.

Most interesting thing to happen in the last quarter-and-a-half of some of the worst football two teams can play is ref Shannon Eastin breaking up a scuffle on special teams. And look out now, she's taking over the game, calling a hold on TE Brandon Bostick to take away Tyler's only decent run so far. Harrell bails Bostick out by scrambling out of the pocket and hitting Commiskey Gilligan at midfield for an actual first down. Unable to stand prosperity, Harrell has to blow a timeout with eight seconds left in the quarter. The Packers must have been so unused to making a first down that they couldn't get lined up for the next play in time.

FOURTH QUARTER
Tyler grinds out a first down for the Packers inside the 40, which opens up play-action for Harrell, at least until Reyes blows up the pocket and forces a throwaway. The Packer tackles aren't blocking much of anything right now. Dale Moss does not make a very good play on a 3rd-down back-shoulder throw, but Gregory Gatson bails the Pack out with a pretty dumb PI. Strong 5-yard run by Tyler down to the 20 sets up a play-action rollout pass to Moss at the 7. Don't tell me we're heading for a 4th-quarter tie here. Gruden wonders if Harrell was across the scrimmage on his last throw, but darn if it wasn't a fine call by Shannon Eastin. Tyler pounds it in on 3 carries from there, and Mike McCarthy'd better be going for 2. He is!!!!! Nominate that man for a Nobel. Sadly, McCarthy's service to humanity is not rewarded, though, as Shareece Wright breaks up what Tirico calls a back-shoulder throw for Boykin. Another poor throw by Harrell. Wright had a better chance to catch it than Boykin ever did. Chargers 14, Packers 13

If I'm Dennis Dixon, I'd have called my agent the night this game was played and told him to send the Packers a highlight tape or something. He'd be better right now than Harrell. Hell, A.J. Feeley would be an upgrade for the Packers behind Rodgers.

The Packers won't be able to withstand Rodgers being out for more than a series in 2012.

Vic So'oto whips Jacob Hester, who ought to be a whole lot better than that, to sack Lee the first play after the kickoff. Embree nearly gets it all back on 2nd down, but Lawrence Guy does a fine job getting push on 3rd-and-1 to stuff (I believe) Hester behind the line. Not a sterling series for Hester there.

Tyler's starting to hit some gaps now, and his line is getting some positive push in front of him. He gets 10 yards on 2 carries, then, just as I say that, rookie Andrew Datko blows a cut block and gets him stuffed by Logan Harrell, followed by a false start on the line. Harrell rolls out of pressure on 3rd down and fires a nice pass, one of his best of the night.

Former Ram update: wide open for about a ten yard gain off a nice pass by Harrell, TE Demarco Cosby brutally drops the pass. There's a shocker. A Ram TE dropping a ball. More with the punting.

You'd think with all the punting tonight, something interesting would have happened on one by now. No.

What, only 5:33 of this riveting excitement left? The Packers stuff Battle for a two-yard loss, then - former Ram update - Anthony Hargrove, getting some reps in before taking a half-season vacation imposed by Roger Goodell, tips a pass at the line. That's followed by the big play of the night and probably a killer for the Packers, as Lee gets plenty of time and hits Embree streaking down the sideline for 37 on 3rd-and-long. Rookie CB Otis Merrill turned himself around and got over there far too late. Brinkley tacks on another 10 around left end, then Phillip Payne breaks loose with a quick screen and gets down to the 15. WR Mike Willy makes a nice play on an underthrown Lee pass inside the 5. Brinkley might have run through Brandian Ross for a 4-yard TD around right end. The refs say no, but with a chance to do so before the 2:00 warning, Norv Turner challenges the call. Wasn't a poor call live even if it's overturned. His knee looks awfully close to being down when he puts the ball on the pylon.

Good call, and the Chargers will have to put it in from the 1-foot line. Which Brinkley does, with a LaDainian Tomlinson-like leap to make it 20-13. This is a situation where coach RamView would go a little screwy and go for 2, even in regular season, but Norv sensibly takes the PAT. Chargers 21, Packers 13

1:56 left, but it's Harrell running the 2:00 offense again, he may suddenly lurch into competence again. No, he doesn't get the chance, the Packers have put in rookie B.J. Coleman. He immediately shows better accuracy and velocity than Harrell did all night, making two completions to Boykin and barely missing a deep connection with a strong throw. He goes Nuke LaLoosh three times but hits D.J.Williams for 10.0000001 across midfield to keep the game alive. And never mind from there. Tyler gets stripped from behind on a screen pass by Ricky Elmore and the ball bounds right to Bront What-The-Hell-Kind-Of-Name-Is-That Bird. Chargers kneel out the win.

Final score: Chargers 21, Packers 13.

Post game show:
What have we learned: Again, if Aaron Rodgers misses much more than a series in Green Bay this season, they're doomed. They made a good move to shore up RB when they signed Cedric Benson. I'd totally recommend they sign Dennis Dixon, who's still out there, if he's healthy, of course, which may be why he's still out there. Both these teams ultimately looked too much like they did at the end of their respective seasons. Packers can't run and make too many turnovers. Chargers can't get the opposition off the field on third down and make too many turnovers. Ingram looks like a super pickup for San Diego, though.

Player of the game: The hell with the players, I'm picking Shannon Eastin, which you probably already guessed I was going to do anyway. First woman to officiate in an NFL game and it looked like she did a good job.

Up next: Obviously speed is not going to be a strength for me again this season. Vikings-49ers is my next target, assuming I get there.

-$-

Game 2: Colts 38, Rams 3

At this rate, the Rams are going to have the #0 pick in the 2013 draft...

Full report

Postgame show:
What have we learned:
The Rams have a very, very, very, very long way to go, though they may have enough pass rush to help them stay in games for a little while. What else they have besides that and Steven Jackson, well, you tell me. Hard to make too much of the Colts' results because they were apparently playing the worst NFL team of the last 100 years. Andrew Luck's going to see much sterner tests than he saw today, but he certainly passed his first test. I do question most of the offensive talent around him, but the Colts will need some time. Not one-tenth as much as the Rams will.

Player of the game:
Easy win for Luck, 188 yards, 2 TDs and a passer rating over 140. I don't like handing QBs POTGs all the time, but so far this preseason it's been just too obvious.

Up next: I got halfway through Packers-Chargers Thursday night, so I'll try to finish that.

-$-  

Hall of Fame Game: Saints 17, Big Dead 10

The 2012 preseason, and the 2012 Preseason Challenge, are underway! Are you ready for some football? Am I? Is what's left of the New Orleans Saints? And what are the Big Dead doing in this game anyway? There were no Cardinals inducted in the Hall of Fame yesterday! There was a Saint, a Seahawk, two Steelers, a Viking, and a Jet... never mind, I'm already sicker of the Jets than I have ever been of a football team (thanks, ESPN!), I want to see as little of those chuckleheads as possible. Let's go to the Big Dead and the Saints then!

FIRST QUARTER

Arizona blitzes Drew Brees on the first two plays of preseason 2012, but Brees and Pierre Thomas burn the second one with a screen pass for 20 yards, and the Saints are across midfield in 3 plays. Thomas then runs through Sam Acho for a big gain, and Ben Grubbs crushes a LB to get Darren Sproles the edge for another one. From the Arizona 25, Brees hits who-dat WR Joseph Morgan inside the 15, before calling a mystery timeout. Mark Ingram cuts back against heavy overpursuit and sprints inside the 2, and the Saints are in from there in two tries. About 76 yards and a TD in barely five minutes. Saints 7, Big Dead 0

Rams alumni update: LB Paris Lenon injured on the TD run. After a touchback, Will Smith has little trouble beating Rob Housler to stuff LaRod Stephens-Howling, but blows the tackle and LSH bounces away for 15. Kevin Kolb brilliantly capitalizes on that with a terrible out pass picked off by Malcolm Jenkins. Sedrick Ellis beat the crap out of RG Adam Snyder on the play, too. I don't think anybody was expecting John Skelton to win the starting job after a week of training camp, but...

Chase Daniel already geauxing at QB now for the Saints, from the AZ42. On 3rd-and-3, Arizona blitzes the Mike and Campbell beats the tenth Doctor, Matt Tennant, for a sack. 3-and-out. Should have used the sonic screwdriver on him.

Kolb starts the Big Dead from their 8 after the punt. Mike Mayock insists a pass well behind Andre Roberts on the sideline was a lot better than it looked. Saints have NINE in the box on 2nd down, and free agent Curtis Lofton stuffs LSH for a loss. No way Jeremy Bridges was ever going to get over there from RT in time. Think the Cardinals were going for a stupid bubble screen on 3rd-and-12, but the o-line gets swamped and Kolb has to scramble in the end zone just to be able to fire a blank out of bounds. Arizona gets away with a hold in the end zone to boot. Morgan then gets away with muffing the punt return before still returning the kick to midfield.

Yep, the Big Dead are off to a pretty classic start in 2012. But LB Brandon Williams and DT Ronald Talley bat down attempted screen passes for Arizona's second straight 3-and-out. The other DT, David Carter, was on top of Daniel quickly on 3rd down.

More great field position for Kolb, starting from his 12 this time. Ellis beats the crap out of Snyder for the 2nd time. Kolb barely avoids being dragged down in the end zone with a desperation pass to FB Anthony Sherman, who beats Scott Shanle for a short gain. But the big news is that Kolb stays down injured in the end zone. Yes, Kolb is more nervous in the pocket than an atheist fry cook at Chick-Fil-A, and his injury record makes Chris Chandler look like Brett Favre, but he got totally screwed over tonight by Snyder's terrible play at RG. If Snyder is still in Arizona's lineup in the regular season, that's two juicy matchups for young Michael Brockers right there. The Brockers I saw at scrimmage yesterday will eat Snyder alive.

So, the Big Dead breaks John Skelton out of its closet to continue the drive. He throws incomplete behind Todd Heap into tight double coverage for an incompletion on 3rd-and-2.

The 4th-down play is a classic preseason clusterpunt. Laron Scott completely misses catching the punt, which then proceeds to roll 25 yards down to the 1. Michael Adams prevents the touchback for Arizona with a diving effort, but Quentin Groves then grabs it unnecessarily and slides across the goal line with it. His butt's obviously on the goal line. The referees miss that but call holding on the Saints. Mayock and Brad Nessler miss it in the booth. So do Joe Vitt and the Saints, who don't challenge what should have been an obvious touchback. The poor NFL Network replay guy tries to get anyone at all to notice, but no dice. Goes down as a 79-yard punt for Dave Zastudil, though the ball should be on the Saints' 10-yard line instead of their 10-inch line.

Nice sideline pass from Daniel to Courtney Roby gets 14 and gets the Saints out of the hole. He play-actions and guns to Roby on the Arizona sideline for 15 more. Great blitz pickup by someone named Travaris Cadet springs Daniel for a scramble for another first down. But Daniel holds the ball forever with a blitz coming on 3rd-and-4, Stewart Bradley beating Cadet this time for the sack.

Skelton starts from the 10 as we find out that Kolb's out with a rib injury. Terrible overthrow on a flare route. Arizona finally gets moving though, thanks to a 8-yard LSH run and a 12-yarder over the middle to Larry Fitzgerald as the first quarter ends.

SECOND QUARTER

Another run stuff for Curtis Lofton, with Housler missing another block. Skelton recovers with an 11-yard comebacker to Andre Roberts. Snyder actually gets a good block to spring Alfonso Smith for 9. Darryn Colledge nullifies Shanle to spring Smith for another 20+. Skelton skips out of trouble and hits the Thin Man, William Powell, with a difficult throw for 5 and another 1st. Powell drives down inside the 9, and Smith gets them 1st-and-goal at the 4. Pitch left to Smith is good for a TD behind a very solid block by Housler, first one I've seen by him tonight. 7-7

Laron Scott fields the kickoff about eight yards deep, uses a sick spin move at the 20 to bust out to his 40, then uses another sick spin move to get across midfield to the Arizona 40. Daniel wants to go deep on 1st down, but gets flushed out of bounds. Nice stuff of Ivory by Clark Haggans. Dead leave Roby wide open inside the 20, though, and Daniel finds him. More speed from Carter to stuff Cadet for a big loss, but Daniel recovers from a terrible 3rd-down shotgun snap to hit Cadet for a 1st down at the 6. Bradley nicely breaks up a pass for TE Michael Higgins at the goal line to force a FG. Saints 10, Big Dead 7

Richard Bartel takes over for Arizona at the 20, just 4:41 left in the half. Quick post to first-round pick Michael Floyd gets 15, and a deep pass for Housler gets 27 more, thanks to a very slow LB and a confused safety. CHRIS CHAMBERLAIN then Myrna Loys Powell for a big loss. Bartel misses Housler breaking open deep to try to force a pass to Floyd, then gets sacked on 3rd-and-long. Tom Johnson got credit for it, but it happened because Bobbie Massey pretty much shoved Martez Wilson into Bartel. Play like that may explain why the Rams weren't really interested in drafting Massey.

Zastudil kills the punt inside the 6. Rams could have signed him, you know. Just sayin'. Saints don't look determined to do much with the 2:00 drill opportunity, so Arizona responds by using its timeouts on defense. So Ivory responds by popping a run across the 30. Saints use a timeout, then whip an Arizona blitz again with a dumpoff, gaining 24 for Cadet. Daniel drills Andy Tanner for 17 more, then hits him again for 21 down to the 5. 0:32 left, Cadet beats Reggie Walker with a double-back move for a 5-yard TD and a 10-point halftime lead. Saints 17, Big Dead 7.

THIRD QUARTER

Very sharp first half for Chase Daniel. Arizona had a couple of defensive players flash, but their passing offense looks a mess right now. Gonna be a tough season if their best player continues to be their punter.

Massey's blocking problems continue as Wilson beats him again and sacks Bartel to open the second half with a Big Dead 3-and-out. Saints return the punt to the AZ42 to compound Arizona's misery.

Daniel looks deep again but has to settle for a dumpoff to Ivory for 14. He finds Higgins, who beats Bradley to get the Saints inside the 10. Blake Gideon then checks into his room, though, for an end zone interception.

Housler continues to gash the Saints' zone and gains 17 over the middle. Floyd can't pull down a play-action pass, though, and Housler fails to field a 100-mph fastball from Bartel to force the punt.

Sean Canfield now captaining the New Orleans crewe inside their own ten. Daniel finishes 15-for-20 for just over 200 yards. Showed a very good arm tonight and moved the offense with excellent tempo. Unlike Canfield, who's three-and-outed pretty quickly. Bubble screen into a third-down big-blitz didn't work this time.

Arizona takes over at their 44 with rookie Ryan Lindley now behind center. Shows a powerful arm and hits LaRon Byrd on a slant for a first down right after Rams fans are treated to the 2011 Patrick Peterson highlight reel, made mostly possible by the Rams' special teams. Jaymar Johnson drops a slant at the 5, though, and forces a short Jay Feely FG. Saints 17, Big Dead 10.

Groves blows up a draw to Cadet, and a strong 4-man rush flushes Canfield to the sideline to fire a blank. Three-and-out again.

Lindley gets it back at his own 23, where Wilson puts a spell on LT Nate Potter and nearly gets his third sack. Lindley can't hit John Skelton's brother Steve down the seam as the teams are now trading 3-and-outs. Skelton would have gotten killed if the pass had been on the mark anyway.

FOURTH QUARTER

No Cardinal within 20 yards of Cadet on the punt return, which he brings back 25 to the Saint 45. Arizona's called for holding on the play, and the replacement ref announces it'll be a re-kick. Why the hell would Joe Vitt take the penalty there? Because the replacement ref doesn't know the rules initially. Saints now get 10 yards added to the return, which should put them across midfield. Wait a minute, what the hell is the ball doing on the Saint 30? We'll never know; Nessler and Mayock talk over the referee's third explanation of the play. Had to be a penalty on the Saints in that mess somewhere.

And now a ground ball snap by Brian Folkerts loses the Saints 12 more. Canfield tries to force a sideline pass to Morgan on 2nd-and-a-mile, where it's nearly picked off by a diving Larry Parker. 

This just in from Mars: the Curiosity rover has landed successfully.

This just in from Canton: yet another three-and-out for Canfield and the Saints.

Arizona at their 20, now their 19 after Martez Wilson blows up the backfield for the umpteenth time. Lindley, who has shown nice poise tonight, hits Skelton for 12 and a 1st down. Drop by Thomas Clayton. Clayton slips twice on a draw and gains 4. With under 12 minutes left, the frightening prospect of preseason overtime has reared its ugly head. Tulsa rookie Tyrunn Walker helps settle those fears by now by beating D'Anthony Batiste for a sack. Offensive line is clearly going to continue to be a problem for Arizona this year. They didn't even devote much of their draft to their worst problem area, and guys they did pick, like Massey and Potter, haven't looked like solutions tonight. Massey's been a pretty eye-popping disappointment for those of us who heard draft pundits suggest the Rams take him with one of their second-round picks. Learning to trust Les Snead more and more by the day here.

Second drop by Morgan briefly costs Canfield his first chance at a first down, but the two connect at the AZ38 to get the Saint offense moving for the first time in a quarter. A fond remembrance of awful Rams blocking TEs past sees Derek Schouman miss Groves, who puts a major hit on Cadet for a loss. Big Dead continue to get a solid 4-man rush, which forces a throwaway, a dumpoff and... a Jon Kasay FG attempt? This would be from 54 - can he even kick his age (42) any more?

We'll never know... Justin Bethel flashes around left end and gets a piece of the kick, which wobbles harmlessly to the goal line. Bethel, a member of RamView's Never-Draft-A-Kicker class, may have made the Arizona roster just based on his special teams play tonight; he has been rock-solid. However, Greg Zuerlein is on track to retire NDAK for a while.

A Clayton draw gets Arizona across midfield, and we have to sweat the idea of a tie game again. While Mayock treats us to awful karaoke of "Play That Funky Music" from out of nowhere, TE Martell Webb completely ignores former Illini LB Nate Bussey, who stops the third straight handoff to Clayton deep in the Arizona backfield to force a punt.

Canfield dodges a blitz only to have his pass dropped by the feckless Schouman, but now the game becomes the Joe Banyard Show, as the UTEP rookie drives up the middle for 7. Canfield beats a telegraphed blitz with a quick pass to Tanner for 16. Banyard back up the middle for 8. And for 7 more across midfield. Landon Cohen finally stuffs him for a loss after beating Aderious Simmons easily. Continuing to stand tall, Canfield fires over the middle on 2nd-and-14 and Tanner makes a terrific catch, reaching back and overhead. I'd argue he never really got the ball put away before getting trainwrecked by Eddie Elder and losing the ball, but the refs call it a fumble recovered by Arizona. Definitely a bang-bang play, emphasis on BANG.

Lindley takes over at his 26 with 4:22 left and hits Byrd for 16. NO TIES, WHISENHUNT! You score a TD, you're going for two. Lindley and Byrd connect for 10 more to the Saint 45. Walker blows up Senio Kelemete and - Russ Hochstein??? - but stupidly throws Lindley to the ground to offset the grounding penalty he drew with a roughing-the-QB penalty. Leaping 14-yard catch by Byrd, who beats Cord Parks. A Cord Parks update! Saints picking the wrong time to play soft zone here. What does prevent defense prevent? It sure doesn't prevent Lindley from hitting Skelton inside the 10 at the 2:00 warning.

Guys, I can't afford a tie - it's already 2:20 a.m. as I'm recapping this. First and goal, plenty of time for Lindley, but his pass goes through Byrd's hands inside the 5. Saints get good pressure on 2nd-and-goal, and Lindley overthrows Tre Gray inside the 5. Third and goal, and it's over, as UConn rookie LB Lawrence Wilson jumps a slant route to Gray at the goal line, picks off the pass and returns the INT to midfield. 

An actual QB change by the Saints here, to Luke McCown. Quick 3-and-out, with Arizona burning the last of their timeouts, gets Lindley the ball back one last time.

Saints coaches have got to love Elbert Mack for getting hurt and stopping the clock after an ill-advised dumpoff by Lindley with 0:15 left. That lets Arizona set up the Big Ben look, but they just dump off to Powell in the cleared-out space, and he can only make the 45 as time expires.

Final score: Saints 17, Big Dead 10.

Very quick postgame show:

What have we learned: Arizona's defense and special teams looked effective. Teams are definitely going to have to account for Calais Campbell. Their blitz looks effective, though not unbeatable. They did some good power-running on offense, and with their top 2 RBs, Beanie Wells and Ryan Williams, out. Their pass protection continues to be poor, though, and they're seriously messed-up at QB again, where Kolb is hurt again and Skelton wasn't great tonight. This is a team the Rams ought to be able to beat. Simple as that. Meanwhile, even the multitude of offseason issues swirling around the Saints can't slow down their offensive machine. Daniel looks like a competent fill-in for Brees if they ever need him.

Player of the game: In fact, I'll give Daniel the first POTG of the Preseason Challenge. Led them to a TD and was intercepted in the end zone the other time. 200 yards passing and a rating over 100 despite the pick. 

Up next: Possibly the Packers-Chargers game on ESPN Thursday night, though there's a good chance the next game I do will actually be Rams-Colts on Sunday.

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Photo: ESPN

The 2012 NFL Preseason Challenge

Sunday night's Pro Football Hall of Fame means it's once again time to open the Preseason Challenge. NFL Network has for some years now aired all of each season's preseason games. So, on the theory that any football is good football (a theory preseason football pretty consistently debunks), I set out to watch as many preseason games as possible, and offer my observations here.

I did actually complete a 65-game Challenge eight years ago. In recent years, though, my performance has been mainly pathetic, with last year a new low not even worth discussing further. With that in mind, my main goal this year is just an NFC West mini-challenge, so I'll prioritize those games this year.

I do have the technological advantage of a new high-capacity (200 hours) DVR. I rarely had more than 10 hours of free space on my old one, so it'll be a big boost to be able to have a whole week of games out there at a time.

This challenge was a lot easier to pull off in the days when I was an unemployed insomniac, but I'll try to show more respect to it this year.

Let the preseason ranting begin!

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NFL Network 2012 preseason schedule

First-time airing times of this year's 65 preseason games on NFL Network. Came from a different source than usual.

All times are Eastern, because I'm not going through that whole thing and fixing all the times for St. Louis time. Typically many of the games are shown multiple times, but you'll have to check whatever listings NFL Network makes available to catch those.

This schedule does not include the first-time airings of national broadcasts outside of NFL Network (ESPN, Fox, CBS), but NFL-N does repeat those games. All 65 games are here.

Pro Football Hall of Fame Game
Sunday, August 5
8:00 PM – Arizona Cardinals vs. New Orleans Saints – LIVE

Week 1
Thursday, August 9
12 Midnight – Denver Broncos vs. Chicago Bears
3:00 AM – Baltimore Ravens vs. Atlanta Falcons
Friday, August 10
1:00 PM – Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Philadelphia Eagles
4:00 PM – Washington Redskins vs. Buffalo Bills
7:30 PM – New York Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals – LIVE
2:00 AM – Minnesota Vikings vs. San Francisco 49ers
Saturday, August 11
6:00 AM – Green Bay Packers vs. San Diego Chargers
12 Noon – New York Giants vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
3:00 PM – New Orleans Saints vs. New England Patriots
7:00 PM – Houston Texans vs. Carolina Panthers – LIVE
10:00 PM – Tennessee Titans vs. Seattle Seahawks – LIVE
2:00 AM – Cleveland Browns vs. Detroit Lions
Sunday, August 12
7:30 AM – Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Miami Dolphins
1:30 PM – St. Louis Rams vs. Indianapolis Colts – LIVE
Monday, August 13
10:00 AM – Arizona Cardinals vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Tuesday, August 14
12 Midnight – Dallas Cowboys vs. Oakland Raiders

Week 2
Thursday, August 16
12 Midnight – Cleveland Browns vs. Green Bay Packers
Friday, August 17
12 Midnight – Miami Dolphins vs. Carolina Panthers
3:00 AM – Cincinnati Bengals vs. Atlanta Falcons
Saturday, August 18
12 Noon – Buffalo Bills vs. Minnesota Vikings
3:00 PM – Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New Orleans Saints
7:00 PM – New York Giants vs. New York Jets – LIVE
10:00 PM – Dallas Cowboys vs. San Diego Chargers – LIVE
1:00 AM – Oakland Raiders vs. Arizona Cardinals
Sunday, August 19
7:00 AM – Detroit Lions vs. Baltimore Ravens
10:00 AM – Tennessee Titans vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
1:00 PM – San Francisco 49ers vs. Houston Texans
4:00 PM – Washington Redskins vs. Chicago Bears
11:00 PM – Seattle Seahawks vs. Denver Broncos
Monday, August 20
1:00 PM – Kansas City Chiefs vs. St. Louis Rams
Tuesday, August 21
3:00 AM – Indianapolis Colts vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Wednesday, August 22
10:00 AM – Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots

Week 3
Thursday, August 23
12 Midnight – Green Bay Packers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Friday, August 24
12 Midnight – Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Baltimore Ravens
3:00 AM – San Diego Chargers vs. Minnesota Vikings
Saturday, August 25
1:00 PM – Philadelphia Eagles vs. Cleveland Browns
4:00 PM – Indianapolis Colts vs. Washington Redskins – LIVE
12 Midnight – St. Louis Rams vs. Dallas Cowboys
3:00 AM – Seattle Seahawks vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Sunday, August 26
7:00 AM – Chicago Bears vs. New York Giants
10:00 AM – Atlanta Falcons vs. Miami Dolphins
1:00 PM – New England Patriots vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
11:00 PM – Detroit Lions vs. Oakland Raiders
2:00 AM – Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans
Monday, August 27
1:00 PM – Houston Texans vs. New Orleans Saints
4:00 PM – Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Buffalo Bills
Tuesday, August 28
10:00 AM – Carolina Panthers vs. New York Jets
12 Midnight – San Francisco 49ers vs. Denver Broncos

Week 4
Wednesday, August 29
7:30 PM – New England Patriots vs. New York Giants – LIVE
11:30 PM – Miami Dolphins vs. Dallas Cowboys
Thursday, August 30
3:00 PM – Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Washington Redskins
7:00 PM – Kansas City Chiefs vs. Green Bay Packers – LIVE
11:00 PM – Denver Broncos vs. Arizona Cardinals – LIVE
3:00 AM – San Diego Chargers vs. San Francisco 49ers
Friday, August 31
1:00 PM – Atlanta Falcons vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
8:00 PM – New York Jets vs. Philadelphia Eagles
12 Midnight – Cincinnati Bengals vs. Indianapolis Colts
Saturday, September 1
10:00 AM – New Orleans Saints vs. Tennessee Titans
1:00 PM – Buffalo Bills vs. Detroit Lions
4:00 PM – Baltimore Ravens vs. St. Louis Rams
8:00 PM – Carolina Panthers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
12 Midnight – Chicago Bears vs. Cleveland Browns
Sunday, September 2
10:00 AM – Minnesota Vikings vs. Houston Texans
10:00 PM – Oakland Raiders vs. Seattle Seahawks

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