Game 1: Hall of Fame Game: Titans 21, Bills 18

Gentleman, start your word processors! The 2009 Preseason Challenge is underway!

And forgive me if I don't applaud Ralph Wilson's entry to the Hall of Fame. He voted against the Rams moving to St. Louis; now who's playing "home games" in Toronto 14 years later? Hypocrite.

Well, at least Tagliabue still isn't in. Faulk in '11!

Hey, the Preseason Challenge is off to a rollicking start in 2009 as my 2-month-old Dell Computer locks up at the 12:30 mark of the first quarter and I lose everything I had typed!

Having equally stupid technical problems is NBC, as I can barely hear Michaels and Madden, er, Collinsworth over the Spanish broadcast feed.

SOMEBODY GOING TO FIX THAT?

Everyone's wearing AFL throwbacks tonight to commemorate the AFL's 50th anniversary. #1, the Bills unis look great. #2, the Oilers unis have to be annoying both old Houston and new Tennessee fans.

#3, the referees look damn ridiculous. They look like big pieces of Fruit Stripe gum, if anybody's old enough to remember that stuff.

We're in Fawcett Stadium, aka the Land of a Million Hashmarks.

Rookie Ryan Mouton returns the opening kick by Rian Lindell to the Titan 27. And for remembering how to spell Lindell's first name, I officially proclaim myself on my game. Smoke route to expensive new Titan Nate Washington gains 9 but the Fruit Stripes give him 10. Kerry Collins starts at QB. Attempted sweep by Chris Johnson loses 3. Four Bills broke into the backfield to blow that up. Collins gets most of it back by hitting Alge Crumpler with a dumpoff for 12. Crumpler is going at least 3 bills right now. 3rd-and-1, Collins finds Crumpler on an underneath drag route for 14 more and a first at the Bills 41. Tennessee beat a zone blitz there; Crumpler was covered by Chris Kelsay. Mismatch even when the receiver outweighs a defensive end by 30 lbs. Kavika Mitchell and my boy Paul Posluzny blow an interception on first down. Posluzny (again) stuffs Johnson for 1 to force 3rd-and-9. Boy, if he can stay healthy this year. Collins gets time but misses open receiver Chris Davis pretty badly. Would have been close to a first.

And we're not even halfway into the first quarter of the first preseason game before we get our first bush league trick play. Naturally, it comes from Jeff Fisher. It's beautifully executed, though. Punter A.J. Trapasso fakes an end-around to Michael Griffin, goes behind his back with the ball and shoots upfield for a 40-yard TD. I should like this more because it's a fun play, but special-teams trick plays in preseason are Bush. League.

Another reason I should like this play: it made Bobby April's special teams look stupid. Then again, they would have blocked the punt had the Titans not had the fake on.

Tennessee 7, Buffalo 0.

Bruce Hall brings the kick back to the 23 for Buffalo. Marshawn Lynch up the middle for 3. Trent Edwards starting at QB. Bills in no-huddle. And oh, God, crank up the ridiculous hype machine, Edwards hits T.O. on a slant for 15. Patient outside running by Lynch picks up 3. Great, T.O. on the sideline for 13 more. Simple cut had Nick Harper falling down. Lynch gains nothing despite bouncing off Kyle Vanden Bosch. 7 over the middle to Derek Fine, followed by a scramble by Edwards down to the 28 for a first. Good Titan pressure there but not quite enough. Fred Jackson up the middle for very little. 2nd-9, Edwards steps up and throws a poor pass right to Michael Griffin for an INT. Griffin hands off to Keith Bulluck and he sets the Titans up across the 25.

I can hear T.O. complaining already.

From the 27, Collins steps up and misses connections with Bo Scaife. Bryan Scott then flashes in from his safety position to drop Johnson for -5. That doesn't stop Tennessee; former Mizzou Tiger Justin Gage makes Leodis McKelvin look pretty bad on a comeback route and catches one for about 19 and a first. Johnson gains 2, getting knocked out of bounds with a hard hit, followed by 7 more. 3rd-and-1 from midfield. The Bills appear to blow up the dreaded shovel pass to Washington, but Collins recognizes they're beating another zone blitz. Aaron Schobel isn't going to cover Washington, so Collins waits a beat and throws a real pass to him for about 15. Completions to Gage and Crumpler get the Titans another first down inside the Buffalo 25. Pitchout left to Johnson, well-blocked, gets him down to the 8 as Gage takes out a couple of Bills. Enter Lendale White, who drives down inside the 3. He drives off left tackle behind Ahmad Hall's block to score Tennessee's 2nd TD. 1:48 left in the 1st.

Tennessee 14, Buffalo 0.

I just finished my first soda of the 2009 Preseason Challenge, and yes, we're keeping track.

Hall makes a nice cut and returns the kickoff out to the 38, but Bill Leavy and the Fruit Stripes get Buffalo for an illegal block in the back. Bills start from their 8, with Ryan Fitzpatrick(!) at the wheel. Titans stuff a run for a loss and Jackson sweeps left for just 3 to set up 3rd-and-long. Big pressure up the middle by Jevon Kearse, beating rookie center Eric Wood, flushes Fitz. He loves to scramble, but Tennessee stops him for no gain. Bills punting.

The NFL website is about as fast as Albert Pujols running in quicksand, but my usual go-to, Yahoo! Sports, doesn't have rosters which are even remotely up-to-date, so NFL.com it is.

Nice punt return by Davis to the Buffalo 40 is erased by a penalty. Michaels and Maddenworth are interviewing Ralph Wilson and don't care.

End of first quarter: Tennessee 14, Buffalo 0.

Crazy Vince Young will open the 2nd quarter for the Titans at QB. They start from their 37 with Young throwing a poor pass White can't dig up. Inside handoff to White for maybe 2. White's helmet radio isn't working, so my crappy new Dell isn't the only technology failure of the evening. Speaking of failure, the Bills blitz big on 3rd and 9 and get away with it when Young floats a lollipop to McKelvin for an INT. Odds are good there that Young's intended receiver Lavelle Hawkins broke the wrong way.

Fitz and the Bills take over at the Titans 43. Nice stutter step by new RB Xavier Omon nets 3 up the middle. Fitz finds Josh Reed for 13. Maddenworth's blaming Vince Young for the INT. I'd say he's taking the easy way out but Cris' analysis is usually solid. Smoke route to Roscoe Parrish doesn't get much, and Fitz one-hops one to Reed to set up 3rd-and-8 from the 26. Tennessee unforgivably gives up the first down and a lot more, 13 yards, on a draw play, made successful by another Omon stutter step. He gains 5 more the next play. 2nd-5 at the 8, Fitz audibles to a middle handoff to Omon, good for 3. Buffalo goes to the well once too often, though; the next play is basically the same run, and Dave Ball tracks it down from behind and stuffs it. The Bills go for it on 4th-and-2, but Cary Williams breaks up an end zone pass for Parrish. Huge pressure up the middle by Jason Jones flushed Fitz and forced a rushed throw. And yes, Fisher still has some of the starters in.

Titans take over at their 5. White off left tackle for 4. Young rolls out on 2nd down but doesn't really have a receiver; low bullet for Hawkins is incomplete. QB draw gets nowhere thanks to great backside pursuit by I believe Nic Harris; NFL.com's roster isn't up to date, either, showing no #54. Is keeping this stuff up to date really this hard?

After the punt, the Bills take over at the Titan 43. Quick hitch to Felton Huggins for 8. Encroachment against Tennessee yields a first down. Omon cuts back and gains 6 down to the 25. Audibiling again on 2nd down, Fitz hits Reed for 10. Ball nearly breaks up a smoke pass, but Fitz sidearms it to Parrish, who jukes Cary Williams for 11. Omon plunges down to the 2 on first-and-goal. They try a quick slant on 2nd-and-goal, but Larry Birdine swats it back to French Lick for an incompletion. On 3rd-and-goal, the Bills go 3-wide and Reed looks like a spaz trying to come back for the quick pass. Lousy play-calling by Turk Schonert there. You're throwing twice from the 2???!? Lindell chips it in to put Buffalo on the board.

Tennessee 14, Buffalo 3.

Mouton brings the kick out to the Titan 28 while Maddenworth declares Bobby April is "arguably the best special teams coach in the NFL" and "his teams are always ranked at the top". Yes, I'd like to argue that, Cris. A flag from the Fruit Stripes knocks Tennessee back to the 12. And another takes off a nice run by White, or maybe Chris Henry, to send the Titans back to the 6. Michaels doesn't care who the runner is right now. They're too busy talking about how crazy Young is. VIVA PRESEASON! Draw to White or Henry loses 2. Remember Tennessee's first preseason game last year, when they were practically pulling guys out of the stands and they were still gashing the Rams for 50-yard rushes? Not happening tonight. Young drops back into his end zone and hits Craig Stevens for 12. Henry drops a third-down screen pass that Young could have thrown better, forcing a punt.

It works out OK for Tennessee, though, as Hall muffs the punt. Gerald McRath recovers for Tennessee. Young hits Davis on a quick hitch for 5. Henry gains 3 behind left tackle as we hit the 2:00 warning.

Young's rollout sideline pass for Hawkins is broken up by Ellis (Rhymes With Wankster) Lankster. But Henry cuts back on 4th-and-2 behind a couple of big blocks by Stevens for 16; nearly a TD. Young hits Paul (Not The Very Short Songwriter) Williams for 8 on a quick seam route. George Wilson stuffs Henry on 2nd down. On 3rd down, Young throws a timing pass that appears way too deep, but Paul Williams grabs it and stays in at the back of the end zone with a nice song-and-dance. Great play by Williams and great call by the official.

Tennessee 21, Buffalo 3.

Hall uses his blocks well and gets the kickoff returned out to the 37. Let's see what Fitz can do in the 2:00 offense, 0:37, actually. Screen to Omon is good for 17, and a late hit out of bounds by Ryan Fowler tacks on a dumb 15 more. Buffalo's already in FG range at the Titan 32. Inside handoff fools nobody and Buffalo spends a timeout with 0:17 left. We get another T.O. update. Fitz avoids a sack with a pass to Omon in the flat but they only get 3 out of it. Timeout again with 10 seconds left. The Bills beat a dumb Titan blitz on 3rd-and-7 but Fitz's pass upfield is off Justin Jenkins' fingertips. Another chippie by Lindell ends the first half.

Halftime score: Tennessee 21, Buffalo 6.

C.J. Hawthorne sets Buffalo up at their 25 with the kick return. Gibran Hamdan is the new Bills QB. The Bills continue to run the no-huddle. Two Omon carries and a screen pass fail to get 10 yards, and the Bills punt. Davis returns it 7 yards to the 25 for Tennessee.

Young still in for Tennessee; he gets drilled but still hits Jared Cook on the sideline for 7. Henry drives off right tackle for 2. On 3rd-and-1, I think it's Nic Harris making another play, beating center Fernando Velasco and tripping Henry up for a loss. Between NFL.com having his jersey number wrong and NBC ignoring his plays to do sideline interviews, Harris is having a heck of a good night ignored.

Hawthorne dangerously runs up and fields a VERY short punt that sets Buffalo up at the 33. Diving catch by Huggins for 6, followed by a quick slant for 5 more. Pitchout right to Omon for 4. Play-action rollout pass to Jenkins for 18. Hamdan goes up top from the Titan 36 but Jenkins runs over Mouton at the goal line to draw an OPI. This third quarter's taking longer than the Cenozoic Era. A throwaway and a short pass to Shawn Nelson leave Hamdan third-and-17. Two Titans stop TE Jonathan Stupar well short of the first on Hamdan's quick pass. Lindell drills it from 52 despite a high snap.

Tennessee 21, Buffalo 9.

Jason McCourty bobbles the bouncing kickoff and only makes the 15 before #64 for Buffalo shuts him down. And, sorry, 64, NFL.com doesn't care enough about you to have you on its online roster page and NBC cares more about interviewing Tony Dungy about Michael Freaking Vick, so your fine play will go unnoticed by most of the world. New Titans QB is Patrick Ramsey. Davis can't come up with his low first-down pass. Henry bounces a run outside left for 4. Delay of game makes the ensuing play a 3rd-and-11, but Ramsey hits Cook with a nice sideline pass for 20. The booth is doing nothing but talking about Michael Vick as Ramsey hits Davis for 8. Henry catches a pass on a circle route and breaks a tackle to gain 13. A Titan RB only identifiable to me as #21 because THE BOOTH REFUSES TO TALK ABOUT THE GAME gains 4 on a sweep left. Scratch that, holding on Tennessee, first and 20 from their own 45. #21 is Javon Ringer. NFL.com has him as #3. Sorry your first professional carry was completely ignored by TV, dude. And that your first professional reception the next play was stuffed by Alvin Bowen for a 4-yard loss. Ramsey throws behind Paul Williams for an incompletion, leaving Tennessee at 3rd-and-24. So of course the next play is another screen pass, gaining Ringer 13 before he's shoved out of bounds.

64 is rookie free agent LB Ashlee Palmer of Mississippi.

Sloppy, dangerous, falling-down fair catch by Hawthorne inside his own 20. They get to the 20 after a quick hitch to Huggins. Omon tries the outside right edge but is denied by Birdine. 3rd-and-5, Hamdan and Huggins handle the Titan blitz for 10. Dumpoff to Hall is good for 8 as a painfully-long 3rd quarter finally comes to a close. No, they get in one last handoff to Omon and get the first down. Defense was offsides anyway. End of 3.

End of third quarter: Tennessee 21, Buffalo 9.

Wait a minute, how many of those Western bacon cheeseburgers did Padma have since the last time Top Chef wrapped up? Seriously, is she pregnant?

Soda #2 of the Preseason Challenge popping right now as the 4th quarter opens. Bills have 1st-and-10 at their 42. Nicely-designed play leaves Stupar all alone crossing into the flat off of play-action and he gains 13. 7 to Jenkins, who takes a big hit and doesn't get anything back for it because the Bills had a penalty. The booth has barely talked about this game, for at least 15 minutes. We get no idea what the penalty was, or who it was on. Probably holding. 1st-20 from the Bills 45. 6 to Stupar over the middle. No, that's not the John Stuper who won Game 6 of the 1982 World Series for the Cardinals. Birdine drags Hall down from behind for a loss and hilariously swims across the field on his belly for five yards to celebrate. 3rd-14 Hamdan pass is deflected and nearly intercepted. Punter is on his way.

Davis returns a bouncing punt to the Titan 11. As Ringer gains nothing on a sweep left we learn that the new Titan QB is Alex Mortenson, and before I can crack wise about him spreading dumb NFL rumors, we also learn that he's the son of Chris Mortenson of ESPN, aka "Mort". Ringer goes up the middle for about 10 to leave 3rd and short. Michaels and Maddenworth are STILL chatting up Tony Dungy. Mort Jr. hits Rodney Ferguson on the sideline for about 10. Inside sources with the Titans tell me that's a first down. Nothing for Ringer off left tackle. An unmentioned penalty brings it back to the 19 anyway as Michaels FINALLY wraps it up with Dungy. These network preseason broadcasts are getting ridiculous. Could we at least pay a LITTLE attention to the game more than once every half hour? And so Dungy's joining the Sunday night studio team? How many freaking people do they have on that show, anyway? Do they have a studio big enough to fit the 95 people they have on the show?

And if not, can they get rid of worthless Olbermann?

1st and 20 for Mort Jr. from the Titan 19. An anonymous source tells me that Mort throws his next pass directly to Reggie Corner the corner of the Bills, who returns it for a TD. Reliable sources tell me that was a pretty dumb and bad throw by Mortenson.

Tennessee 21, Buffalo 16.

9:36 left at the Bills kick off. McCourty returns it to the 29, and I can now confirm the rumor that Ramsey is back in the game instead of the lamentable Mort. Two Ringer runs and a completion to Hawkins get Tennessee out to the 44. Ramsey calls out the audible "Flipper", a signal you'd think the Dolphins would use. He wings it to Cook on the sideline for 2. Cook is called for holding the next play to make and take away a long Ringer run around the left corner. 2nd and 18 from the Titan 43. Draw to Quinton Ganther, who ran for about a million yards against the Rams last August, gets 5, but there's another penalty Michaels and Maddenworth don't tell us about. It's another apparent hold to make it 2nd-and-28. Quick pass to Ganther gets 9, but Derrick Jones smokes center Jason Murphy and knocks the ball out of Ramsey's hand to force a fumble and a punt.

Bills' ball with 5:13 left after Hawthorne brings the punt back a couple to the 27. New QB is Matt Baker. Completion to Hawthorne for 5. Baker misses badly on a sideline pass. On 3rd down, #94 for Tennessee (yep, he's not on NFL.com's increasingly useless roster page) beats Seth McKinney and trips up Baker for what I believe is the night's first sack. Titans take over after the punt with 3:59 left.

94 is rookie second-round draft pick Sen'Derrick Marks of Auburn.

TWO illegal blocks in the back on Tennessee during the punt return? Viva preseason!

Eat this clock up, Jeff Fisher. Ganther gets a couple up the middle, then wins my MVP of the night for sweeping left on 2nd down but sliding down and staying in bounds. Ramsey milks the clock down to 2:24, where Buffalo stops a run and stops the clock with another timeout to give themselves another shot on offense.

Baker leads Stupar a little too much downfield and gets him CLOBBERED by Donnie Nickey, who draws 15 for a shot to the head. Maddenworth says that's a new penalty this year. It always should have been a penalty. Stupar's not in a, well, stupor, though, catching the next pass for 7 at the 2:00 warning.

McCourty ties an apparent ribbon on this one by jumping Baker's sideline pass and picking it off with 1:51 left. More offensive holding STOPS THE CLOCK. New Titans RB is Rafael Little. Buffalo stuffs him on 1st-and-20 and uses their last timeout. A couple more stuffs force Tennessee into punting mode with :08 left, but Trapasso runs into the end zone with the snap, running out the clock while taking the safety.

Final score: Tennessee 21, Buffalo 18.

MVP: Probably Titans punter Trapasso. He opened the scoring, a muffed punt set up another Titans TD, and he even did some of Buffalo's scoring. Hard to beat that for MVP-quality play.

What did we learn: Vince Young is mediocre at best and won't take the job from Kerry Collins. Young won't even be a Titan after this season. And Houston's 2006 decision to take Mario Williams with the first pick overall instead of Young or Reggie Bush is the sneaky-best draft day decision of all time. Birdine made a lot of plays for Tennessee. For Buffalo, Omon looked very good. So did Posluzny, as usual. And Nic Harris, who I didn't think much of as a draft prospect, stood out nicely. But this team worries me. Teams are not going to be afraid to go after their small DEs physically. Schemewise, the defense was too cute by half with all the stupid zone blitzing. And their offensive line is a ways off from gelling. They've got a lot more problems than just Terrell Owens can fix, which is going to quickly institute a new set of problems. I think the Bills are a sell right now.

Up next: Super Bowl XLIII rematch Thursday night on ESPN, Steelers vs. Big Dead.