Game 2: Steelers 20, Big Dead 10

OK, bless the TiVo and pass me soda #3 and let's get right back to the 2009 Preseason Challenge with the Super Bowl XLIII rematch, Big Dead vs. Steelers.

ESPN on the call - who the hell is that? Boomer Esiason got a new haircut? Oh, yeah, it's Chucky Gruden. This should be interesting.

Neil Rackers' kickoff pins Mike Wallace in the end zone. C'mon, you know Ed Bradley would have taken it out. Backfield has Rashard Mendenhall behind Ben Rapistberger. Calais Campbell surges through and drops him for a yard loss. Big Ben hits Hines Ward for six, pretty good pass rush as Chike Okeafor beat his man. 3rd-5. Adrian Wilson jumps a mile offsides to make it 3rd and very short. Thinking the same thing I did, Arizona put in personnel for a first down play and have to blow a timeout. Mendenhall up the middle for a couple. 1st-10. Steelers empty the backfield and go to Heath Miller for 3. Mmm-kay. Mendenhall off right tackle for 4. Gruden's voice just cracked like he hasn't completed puberty yet, which is theoretically possible. Cards blitz again, like almost every play so far. Big Ben throws high and way out of bounds to force a punt.

I promise these writeups are going to get a little shorter and less dense. I still need to find my groove a bit. I cannot promise, however, that I have used the word "Rapistberger" for the last time.

Arizona starts from their 15 after the punt. They're passing, not surprisingly, and William Gay breaks up Kurt Warner's short pass to Anquan Boldin. Tim Hightower, who I believed started, runs right for about 4. Steelers blitz big but Warner finds Steve Breaston for 9 and a first. DON'T BLITZ KURT WARNER! Play action to TE Ben Patrick in the seam for 17. Next pass is incomplete as either Breaston or Jhereme Urban ran the wrong route. Hightower around left end for 3. Quick slant to Breaston and Pittsburgh leaves him uncovered; good for 9. Urban very clearly picked Troy Polamalu there and it wasn't called. High pass with no one really open is incomplete. 2nd-10 draw gets maybe a couple. 3rd-8 from the Steeler 41. No blitz by Pittsburgh this time; they didn't need to, as Lamarr Woodley had little trouble beating Levi Brown for a sack. Nice punt by Ben Graham is downed at the 8 by, even nicer, the long snapper. Love it when that happens. For Arizona, that was a ten-play drive with seven passes.

Arizona blows a couple of chances to sack Big Ben in the end zone, including an especially good chance for Cambpell, and Ben scrambles for 3. 13 over the middle to Ward. Steelers were in the shotgun at their goal line but are in a normal set now. Mendenhall off right tackle for a couple. They try the right side again, but Karlos Dansby reminds them that's a bad idea, for a 2-yard loss. Limas Sweed makes an impressive catch of a ball over his head for 10 and a first. Big Dead may have the down wrong again; they have to call another timeout because they have too many men on the field. Justin Vincent up the middle for about 5. THE EGGLES ARE SIGNING MICHAEL VICK????? Antrell Rolle stuffs Mendenhall in the hole for nil. 3rd-and-4 becomes 3rd-and-9 after a delay of game. Wonder how disappointed Jim Haslett is not to be coaching Vick in Orlando. 3rd down pass is WELL behind Sweed for an incompletion. Steelers completely out of sync after that Arizona timeout. Rolle fumbles the punt return but Matt Ware recovers for the Dead at their 20.

Out route to Larry Fitzgerald for 8. Play action bomb for Breaston just misses connections as the first quarter runs out. Breaston got a hand on it.

End of first quarter: Arizona 0, Pittsburgh 0.

On 3rd-and-2, a draw to Hightower gains 4 thanks to his extra effort. After a short Hightower run, Warner floats one to Boldin for 9 and another first. Arizona fakes an end-around and Hightower squirts up the middle for 9. James Harrison stops a pass in the near flat for Hightower for no and 1. I'd play-action pass. That's what Arizona does, but Leinart's pass is off Leonard Pope's fingertips near the goal line for an incompletion. High throw, maybe, but Pope's gotta catch that ball. Hardly infallible, that.

New Steeler QB is Dennis Dixon, who won't last long if he keeps doing this. Bootleg pass is nearly picked off at the sideline by Keith Lewis. Adams stops Cary Davis for just a couple. 3rd-and 8, Steelers, with 0:44 left. Ball at their own 9. Dixon cranks it up deep for Sweed, but the throw's out of bounds. Wait, there's 47 seconds left now? So time is running backwards?

Here come Leinart and the Big Dead, from their 38 with 0:38 left. Deep pass for Morey is incomplete. I guess ESPN had an incorrect time up earlier. Drag route to Long for 7. 3rd-3. Another deep pass for Morey is picked off by Anthony Madison, who receives a TERRIBLE DPI call from the officials. Morey interfered with him! And he made an impressive one-handded catch anyway.

That awful DPI call got Arizona close enough for a chippie FG for Rackers to run out the first half. Leinart doesn't throw like he has much of a gun but this has been a decent outing for him so far.

Halftime score: Arizona 3, Pittsburgh 3.

Soda #4 beckons as we start the 2nd half. In news from around the league, Alex Mortensen didn't even last long enough in the NFL for father Chris of ESPN to visit him in training camp. He was cut Tuesday after his only career pass was intercepted and returned for a TD by Reggie Corner the corner for the Bills.

Big Dead fans must be thrilled their team spent a high first-round pick a couple of years ago on a QB their head coach said is running neck-and-neck for the #2 job with - Brian St. Pierre. He's your new QB after the Dead return Peter Czech (CHELSEA SUCKS!)'s kick out to the 31. LRSH up the middle for 3. 2nd down pass is incomplete to an empty expanse of Arizona sideline. Closest Cardinal was one of the coaches. Bruce Davis stuffs a screen to LRSH to force a punt.

Joe Burnett fumbles the punt return but gets lucky and Mike Wallace falls on it. Good thing, too, Leslie Stahl was blocked out of the play. Dixon and Vincent at QB and RB for Pittsburgh; Vincent starts the drive by weaving up the middle for 5. Steelers at their 28. Dixon misses his TE badly and for the second time already is nearly intercepted. Shaun McDonald(!) makes a 10-yard catch for a first. After a couple of Vincent runs, Dixon hits Wallace for 13 and another first. First-down bomb into the end zone is underthrown and Adams breaks up Wallace's attempted catch. Steelers at the Arizona 43. Kenny Iwebema blows up a Vincent draw for minus-2. On 3rd-and-long, Dixon hits a wide-open Wallace over the middle for 22. A couple more short Vincent runs lead to another third down. The drive ends with an ugly sequence. Sweed drops a third-and-6 on the sideline that would have given Pittsburgh a first down. Yep, I would have drafted him last year over Donnie Avery. Czech then comes in and misses WOEFULLY from 36. SEE? CHELSEA SUCKS!

Dead at their 26, only about halfway through the third. Drive starts with a drop by... Dominique Byrd. Steve McLendon bats down St. Pierre's bootleg pass on 2nd down and Joe Burnett breaks up the third down pass to force a punt.

Dixon guns deep from his 28 for McDonald but it's underthrown and broken up by Greg Toler. Cards blitz on 3rd-and-3 and fullback Frank Summers drops what would have been a first down. Another punt on the way.

St. Pierre saddles up at the Arizona 23. St. Pierre hits freaking Dominique Byrd down the seam for 21. Next play, that stupid bootleg TE screen actually works to Leonard Pope for 16, thanks to Urban's CRUSHING block on Arnold Harrison right at the point of attack of the play. Then the Big Dead line starts screwing up. There's a false start, then three Steelers beat the interior of the Big Dead line and sack St. Pierre for -7. #31 ends the drive two plays later by blitzing in for another sack.

Steelers start at their 10 after the punt. After two Vincent runs for 8, Dixon misses the TE badly in the flat and Pittsburgh's three-and-out again. Starting to look doubtful he has much of a future other than in a "Wildcat" capacity.

Arizona starts at their 46 and promptly gets called for holding. And it gets worse, as Burnett steps in front of an attempted comeback pass for Urban and picks it off. He runs it back to the Big Dead 3-yard line as the third quarter runs out.

Score after three quarters: Arizona 3, Pittsburgh 3.

Not any more. Isaac Redman bounces off of Togafau and into the end zone for the game's first TD, with just under 15:00 left.

Pittsburgh 10, Arizona 3.

Michael Ray Garvin returns the kickoff out to the 42, then LRSH hits a big hole and tacks on 13 more. St. Pierre gets all day to throw on 1st down but badly overthrows Long. LRSH gets nothing on a draw, then Ziggy Hood gets a clear route to St. Pierre for Pittsburgh's third sack. Looked like left guard Oliver Ross turned the wrong way.

Steelers take over at their 20 with just under 11:00 left. Dixon hits McDonald for 13 and a first down, then Redman neatly spins out of a tackle and busts upfield for 13 more. That gets the Steelers across midfield. Dixon hits McDonald uncovered in the left flat and he gets upfield for 20. Steelers at the Dead 21. False start backs them up, though this has been a pretty clean night for penalties. I do think that is Jeremy Parquet's second false start. Hey, you're no Alex Barron, buddy. After a couple of short passes, Dixon does a very nice job of hanging in the pocket and hits McDonald yet another time inside the 10. Redman rumbles up the middle for 5 down to the 4, then busts over the right side to put the Steelers in the end zone, and I KNEW I should have picked them in ESPN.com's Streak For The Cash game today.

Pittsburgh 17, Arizona 3.

Another nice return by Garvin sets the Big Dead up around their 40. Tyler Palko takes over for Arizona at QB. He does a nice job several times to elude pressure and drives Arizona for a very quick score, including a third-down completion to Freaking Byrd, a falling sideline catch by Onrea Jones at the 20 and a TD pass from there to Jones on a slant. 3:30 left and we've suddenly got a scorefest on our hands.

Pittsburgh 17, Arizona 10.

Wallace returns the kickoff to the 34. Steelers can only grind the clock down to 2:28 behind Summers while Toler breaks up the third down pass.

Dear God don't tell me we're heading for a tie game. Big Dead start from their 23 with 2:13 left.

So much for that threat. Palko's pass is misplayed by Garvin into an interception for Bruce Davis.

Steelers run up the middle to get to the 2:00 warning. Redman gains 1 to the Arizona 24, but most importantly, chews up the last Big Dead timeout. The Cards bash Redman for a 4-yard loss on 3rd down. If Pittsburgh tries a FG here, it'll be another long one; 46-47 yards. Czech's kick is true this time, though, and with 1:41 left, that should do it.

Pittsburgh 20, Arizona 10.

Garvin returns the kickoff to the 32. Palko hits Garvin for 15 before nearly having a deflection intercepted again. He sprints and makes a sideline leap over Keiwan Ratliff for 10. He follows that with a nice sideline pass to Long for 18-19. Palko has gotten the Cardinals downfield twice quickly. End zone pass for Long into a three-Steeler crowd is incomplete. At this point, the ESPN crew, which has actually done a very nice job so far tonight, gains my permanent enmity by declaring the "culture change" that has gone on at Arizona. My ass. It is no different to be an Arizona Cardinal right now than it is to be a Chicago Cub. The Big Dead will always suck. It is in their culture to suck.

Speaking of suck, we get a ridiculously long replay break here while the referee tries to count how many Steelers were on the field for the previous play, a sideline catch by Ernest Gant at the Steeler 13. I hope Ernest whiffs much less in his career than his cousin Ron did in his. They finally figure out the Steelers had 12 men out and move Arizona up to the 8.

Naturally, it wasn't worth it. The Steelers flush Palko twice - once with just a three-man rush - to force a bad throw and a throwaway. With 3 seconds left, Palko way overthrows Garvin in the back of the end zone, and we have our final score.

Final score: Pittsburgh 20, Arizona 10.

MVP: The Mike Martz nostalgist in me can't give the game ball to anybody other than Shaun McDonald, who had a bunch of catches and was instrumental in both of Pittsburgh's TD drives.

What did we learn: The Big Dead are going to throw and they're going to be hard to stop. What else is new? And they still don't run very well. What else is new? Defensive Cardinals who "flashed" include Campbell, who dominated on and off inside, and Toler, who made a bunch of plays from the secondary. Leinart took a clear step ahead in the #2 QB battle, which may be over in Arizona already, St. Pierre was so bad. And given their mess at WR right now, the Rams wouldn't be wrong to pick up a guy like Lance Long should he hit the waiver wire. Dixon looked good for the Steelers once he settled in, but I can't say I learned that much about the defending champs tonight. They didn't run well but they did pick up the Big Dead blitz nicely. Their 2008 draft - Mendenhall and Sweed - still looks a stretch away from paying off.

And, yeah, McDonald's got a chance to stick there.

Up next: New England-Philadelphia just got the last of the space left on my TiVo, but I can't do anything with that game because I need to leave the tuner on NFL Network so I can burn Dallas-Oakland to DVD. That game's a possibility for tomorrow morning but the next game I do is more than likely tomorrow night's Rams-Jets game.