Game 21: Buccaneers 27, Patriots 10

Tonight's Patriots-Bucs game is coming to you LIVE on NFL Network. Broadcast team is Fran Charles, Marshall Marshall Marshall Faulk (Yay), and Sterling Sharpe (Ugh).

No Tom Brady tonight, as he has decided to torment fantasy football players everywhere by staying behind in New England with an ankle injury, I think. Same thing he was in the boot for prior to the Super Bowl? Matt Cassell to start.

No Jeff Garcia tonight, either.

Brian Griese leads Tampa onto the field after the billionth touchback of the NFL preseason. Earnest Graham sees his first action of preseason, with two runs for nine yards before Antonio (D! U! I! A! B!) Bryant gets 16 off an end around. Third down at midfield, Griese hits Alex Smith (the TE, not the Whiner QB) for another first. 7 to Warrick Dunn to a big ovation at the New Sombrero. Dunn stutter-steps and spins for the first down. Tampa at the NE 33. 8 to Ike Hilliard along the sideline. No gain for Graham on 2nd and 2. Hilliard scoops up a low pass for 3 and a first down and should get 15 for taunting, but doesn't. From the 22, a little flare to Dunn for 2. He squirts through the middle for 8 and another 1st. Dunn takes a dumpoff from Griese at the 5 to set up 3rd and 3. Slant to Bryant is good for first-and-goal at the 1. Graham pushes his way into the endzone for an opening TD. Extremely impressive drive. 17 plays, 80 yards, 9 1/2 minutes. Griese went 8 for 8. 7-0, Bucs.

Ellis Hobbs returns Matt Bryant's kick to the 22. Maroney lurches up the middle for 5, then 3. Poor pass by Cassell is picked off, one-handed, by Barrett Ruud. Wow, this isn't a great start for the Invincibles. OK, it wasn't an interception (that was a terrible call, the ball clearly hit the ground), but it's still 4th-and-2, the Patriots still 3-and-outed, the Patriots are still punting.

Tampa's ball with 3:51 left in the quarter. Michael Bennett left for 4. Richard Seymour bats down the 2nd-down pass. Stupid smoke route to Hilliard comes up short. Fucking Tampa Bay. We can look forward to another 200 three-yard pass routes tonight. Tampa gives New England 15 by interfering with Chad Jackson fielding the punt.

Maroney pops for 10 off the left side. Tampa holds him to 1 yard the next two runs. On 3rd-and-9, they run the classic screen to Wes Welker - where's he been all game? - and he picks up 13 as the first quarter ends.

Welker's being unleashed now. Cassell hits him for 7. Draw to Sammy Morris for 1. 3rd-2, Cassell spends a timeout. Welker gets them another first down. Ryan Sims stuffs Maroney for a loss in the backfield. I'm getting deja vu. I just remembered writing about Sims being a former Patriot during last year's Challenge. Creepy. A penalty makes it 2nd-and-17, and Kevin Faulk fumbles the ball away on a draw, recovered by Jimmy Wilkerson.

Bennett's held up at the line of scrimmage but keeps pumping and breaks through for 13. Luke McCown is the new Buc signal-caller; he hits Bryant with a short pass, he breaks a tackle and sprints off to the Patriot 30. Bennett chugs for 7 more, then 2 up the middle to set up 3rd-and-1 at the NE 21. Bennett plunges for the first down at the 20. McCown scrambles left for 4. McCown got under pressure and dumped off to fullback Byron Storer for no gain. 3rd-6, McCown overthrows a receiver in the back of the end zone. Bryant hits the 34-yard FG with no trouble, and Tampa Bay's up 10-0.

7:16 till halftime, Patriots take over from their 22. Brady's injury is described as a "sore foot", not an ankle problem as I thought before. Maroney bobbles a pass away and sweeps left from a loss. Cassell has to run for his life from a Buc blitz on 3rd down and gains six. Three-and-out.

Penalty kills a nice punt return by rookie Dexter Jackson. From his 14, Bennett blasts up the middle for 24. Big block by Davin Joseph. McCown to Maurice Stovall to 17. Bennett has 7 more, to the Patriot 38. Kenneth Darby busts off left end behind a Michael Clayton block for 10. The Patriots look like the Rams. Safety valve screen to Darby gets 11 more. 2nd-10 at the NE 14 at the 2:00 warning. Bennett takes a dumpoff down to the 1. Play action at the goal line, and McCown hits Storer for an easy TD. Buccaneers lead 17-0.

Matthew Slater returns the kick to the 32. Cassell hits Randy Moss for the first time, for 10. Cassell gets drilled by Albert Mack on a scramble. 3rd and 2, Cassell hits Moss at the TB 38. Gain of 12. I have no idea how much time is left because the NFL Network graphic actually starts higher than the top of my TV screen. OK, there's 2 seconds left. Enough time for Gostkowski to stick a 53-yarder, JOSH BROWN. 17-3 Bucs at halftime.

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Do the Patriots just not care? Belichick must care a little, because he actually had Moss and Welker in there for a while, but the rest of the team looks awful. The offense is sloppy beyond belief and refuses to take care of the ball. And should Tampa Bay's offense be running through ANYBODY like this? Big statement by Brian Griese right off the bat for the Bucs. Michael Bennett continues to look like their best RB.


Slater returns the opening kickoff of the 2nd half to the 29. Then, it's PRESEASON SHENANIGANS! Wild snap by Dan Connelly surprises Cassell, he tries to knock it down but bats it right to Sabby Piscitelli of the Bucs, who picks up the gift-wrapped turnover and runs it in for the quick score. 24-3, Bucs.

I love how the NFL-N crew is trying to make the Patriots' play tonight an issue. They lost 31-0 at Jacksonville a couple of preseasons ago! Settle down!

Cassell and company follow that turnover TD with another brutal possession. Piscatelli drops Morris for a loss, Pollard drops a pass from Cassell, Heath Evans drops the third down pass. The Patriots are deep in the Apathy Zone; let's just hope their fans are, too.

Bucs start from their 22. I'm not going to get to finish this game before more NFLN games come on. If my TiVo doesn't eat any of these games, it'll be a shock. After Darby falls on his own fumble, McCown hits Clifton Smith for no gain on a swing pass. McCown appears to hit Ben Troupe for the first down the next play, but he's out of bounds. Bucs punt.

Patriots open up shop at their 28. New QB is Kevin O'Connell. First play, he rolls right, avoids a tackler, and throws an ignorant interception to Elbert Mack along the sideline. That pass had no chance whatsoever of being caught by a Patriot. Wow.

Chris Simms comes in for Tampa, taking over at the NE 30. He hits TE Paris Warren in the flat and he gets 9 and a first down in the red zone. He hits Daniel Fells over the middle short, and he bashes his way for 15 down to the 1. Darby tries to go outside on first and goal and loses 2. Shawn Crable again for the Patriots. Tampa mysteriously starts the next play at 11. I'd appreciate it if NFL-N would show us penalties. Smith gets them back down to the 6. Lucas drops a very catchable ball in the end zone. Ouch. 3rd-goal, Simms' pass is batted down at the line. Blecch. Bryant hits one of the chippiest of chips to put the Bucs up 27-3.

CJ Jones sets the Pats up at their 25. TWO STRAIGHT DROPS BY JONES ON SECOND AND THIRD DOWN. CJ JONES MAY BE THE WORST RECEIVER IN NFL HISTORY. Patriots punt.

Bucs are at midfield following Michael Spurlock's punt return, but Simms gets crushed by Steve Fefita for a 6-yard loss. Simms has to scramble for it on 3rd down but slides a few yards short. Back atcha, Pats.

Jones nearly lets the punt bounce off of him IN THE END ZONE while he's blocking a Buc away from downing the ball in play. Sammy Morris gets stuffed on 2nd-and-5 and the stupid short pass on third down IS SHORT, OF COURSE. It's amazing to see football being played this badly by people in Patriot uniforms.

Tampa at their 33, 2:02 left in the 3rd. Marshall Faulk catches Slater playing - safety? 3rd-and-5, Simms holds the ball FAR too long and gets smeared by three Patriots, including Crable, who strips the ball from him. Bucs recover to ensure this game's FOURTH CONSECUTIVE THREE-AND-OUT. As long as Simms held the ball there, I wonder what other internal organs he plans on donating.

Good punt return by Jones, 20+ yards out to the Patriots 43. OH MY GOD SEND THIS BALL TO THE HALL OF FAME, it's not only a FIRST DOWN, it's A CATCH BY CJ JONES. Good for 14 into Buc territory. New RB is BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Pats run on 3rd-3 and don't get it. They'll go for it, 4th-2 at the Buc 36. O'Connell scrambles for the first. Chad Jackson gets a 12-yard catch to move them inside the 20, then O'Connell and Jones make a nice connection on a slant pass at the 1-yard line. Heath Evans forges in with 10:20 left to make it 27-9. GO FOR TWO! GO FOR TWO! j/k Gostkowski adds the PAT to make it 27-10.

Bucs take over at their 30 with Josh Johnson at QB. A handoff goes nowhere. A Johnson scramble is interesting but goes nowhere. Vince Redd sacks Johnson for a huge loss on 3rd down. They got to him so fast he never got to scan the field. VIVA PRESEASON!

O'Connell and the Pats from their 36. Dumpoff is tipped by Marques Douglas, not like it's a PREDICTABLE play or anything. Poor pass for Pollard incomplete on 2nd down. On the run, he hits Ray Ventrone over the middle for 7, and NE's going for it again on 4th down, from their 43. 5-yard catch by Chad Jackson for the 1st. Buc blitz blows up a screen for an incompletion. Ventrone takes a big hit after a 4-yard catch. O'Connell can't connect with Jackson on 3rd down. Belichick's going for it again. 5:28 left at the Buc 46. O'Connell's pass is deflected at the line and falls incomplete.

Bless the Bucs for keeping the clock running here. Darby is finally breaking thru the Patriot line. He gets 12 in two rushes, then Johnson throws a 9-yard dart. Bucs are at the NE 30 at the 2:00 warning.

Bless both teams for keeping the clock running, though the endaround to Dexter Jackson at this point of the game is a little cheesy. It does get them a first down and lets Johnson kneel out the game, so it served its purpose. Bucs win, 27-10.

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That's two games now the Patriots have looked like the Rams did in Tennessee. If the Rams' preseason play were not improving, we'd all be beside ourselves. The Patriots, of course, are coming off an all-time great season, and I'm going to continue to assume they just don't care how they look in preseason. In fact, I know they don't care, because as of 8/28, the day I'm actually getting my game notes into the blog, CJ JONES, THE WORST NFL PLAYER EVER, IS STILL ON THE TEAM. I think I'd start O'Connell if Brady's really hurt. Lone bright spot was probably Shawn Crable. Brian Griese might be in the mix as Tampa's starting QB with the night he had here. Other players that stood out to me were Bennett offensively and Piscitelli defensively.

21 down, 44 to go, he wrote Pollyannishly.
Next up: Pittsburgh vs. Buffalo. The Canadian Clash. The Toronto Tilt. The Ontario - orgy?